


Collision Course

by crazyTXgradstudent



Series: Collision Course [1]
Category: Michael Fassbender Fandom, Michael Fassbender/Original Female Character - Fandom
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-03-28
Updated: 2015-10-15
Packaged: 2018-03-20 02:23:06
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 43
Words: 82,867
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3633144
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/crazyTXgradstudent/pseuds/crazyTXgradstudent
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>All secrets and lies will eventually come to light.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

It was almost 4 in the afternoon when Lennie received the phone call. She remembered having a smile on her face when she realized it was Steve, but the smile quickly turned to a frown at his news.

“Oh god, Steve. I am so sorry,” Lennie said softly.

Her voice cracked with emotion. They had all known Miss Marie for quite a while. Steve had used her skills in casting and producing on all three of his films, and she was an integral part of pulling the movies together. However, to the cast and crew she was more like a den mother, the older woman you went to when your feelings were hurt. Lennie smiled through teary-eyes as she remembered the older woman fondly.

“So, the funeral will be this Sunday. Afterwards we’ll have a bit of a celebration in honor of her life. Can you make it?” Steve broke through her thoughts.

“This Sunday? Yes, I think I can rearrange some things. I’ll have to find a sitter for Coop, though.” Lennie’s voice took on a strained tone, and it did not go unnoticed by Steve.

“He may be there, Lennie. I don’t know, but I did text him earlier. Told him to call me back,” Steve admitted freely. “I’ll understand if you’d rather not come because of him. I know how much you cared for Marie, though, and I wanted to let you know what was going on. ”

“No. I’m coming. Regardless if he’s there or not, I’m coming. I’ll just have to figure something out,” Lennie stated flatly. She would not let her feelings and distaste for one man get in the way of celebrating the life of someone she considered a dear friend.

“Okay. You let me know if you need help with the flights and such.  We can probably charter something to get you in if need be. I’m heading down this evening to help the family with arrangements and such.”

“Okay, Steve. I’ll call you back in a few. Let me get Coop situated, and I’ll rearrange my schedule, and I’ll try to head down as soon as possible.” It was late Tuesday afternoon; she still had time to make arrangements.

“Okay, love. Call me back when you find out something. I wish it was under better circumstances, but it’ll be great to see you. Wish I could see the baby as well, but I understand.”

Lennie laughed as she stared over at her son playing on his little tablet. At nearly 4 years old, he was no longer a baby, although Steve insisted on calling him such.

“He’s growing like a weed, Steve! We’ll have to get together soon.”

“You still haven’t told him, then?” Steve questioned her. Lennie sobered up immediately and lowered her voice.

“No, and I don’t intend to. I know how hard this is for you to keep a secret, and I hate to do this, but you know what would probably happen if he found out. I just can’t do it, Steve. Please don’t bring it up,” Lennie replied carefully.  She watched her son - her only remaining family in this world – with guarded eyes. She heard Steve sigh over the line.

“I don’t think he would be that way, but it’s your call, Lennie. I love you both dearly, and I wish things could have been different.”

“Yeah, me too, but they’re not. It’s better this way,” Lennie gritted out between clenched teeth. Now she was getting aggravated.

“Okay, love. I won’t push. Let me get off the phone. Call me when you find out, yeah?” Steve conceded to her. He knew her feelings on the subject.

“Okay, Steve. I’ll be in touch.”

Lennie hung up her phone and sank down on to the couch. Her fingers were trembling, but she knew that it wasn’t from hearing of Marie’s passing. She looked again over at her son, his dark, auburn hair unruly from playing outside all day. He looked up, caught her eye and smiled before looking back down at his tablet.  Lennie’s heart sank.

There it was.

She couldn’t keep denying the truth that was right before her eyes. He was the spitting image of his father, and she knew that her time was running short on keeping this a secret. It was nigh time to pay the piper.


	2. Chapter 2

 

 

Halfway around the world in London, Michael dropped his phone on the counter. He picked up his tumbler of Jameson and took another sip as he walked over to his couch and plopped down.  He mulled over the conversation he'd just had with Steve.  Marie's passing, the funeral, her....

She was going to be there.

He would never forget the first day he saw her on set, a petite, little package of brunette hair, a perfect ass, and a set of dimples that drove him insane. 

Dr. Lennon Grace LeBlanc.

He remembered laughing as she introduced herself, not only at her name, but at the almost-haughty look that she gave him. He had never really seen anyone try to look _up their nose_ at him, but damn if she didn’t. He chuckled again as he took another sip.

He had been infatuated with her from the moment he saw her, and he took every opportunity he could find to be in her presence. Even making shit up to be around her. It was totally unlike him, and unnerving to say the least. He was just barely coming out of his relationship with one woman when he began filming _Shame_. Steve had called in numerous counselors and psychiatrists to help out with the film, but Lennie had been his favorite by far. It wasn’t long before they had struck up a friendship, and began spending time together. In the small amount of time it had taken for them to film, he and Lennie had gotten close.

Very close.

Too close, if he were to be honest with himself. He had the occasional hook-ups on set before, but they all fizzled out eventually. This thing with Lennie was something different, and at the time he wasn’t ready for that yet. So he’d gone and fucked it up by hooking up with the next girl.  Whether he did it on purpose or not, he still didn’t know.  What he did know was that he still felt like shit for treating Lennie the way he did. He had tried to explain it to her, but she dropped him as fast as she could. She never spoke to him again after finding out he was with Nicole. He had texted her, called her, emailed her – all of it to no avail. She was done with him, and he had no one else to blame but himself. It still stung like a bitch all these years later.

He stood up and downed the last of his whiskey, and set the glass back down on the table. He grabbed his cell phone and walked to his bedroom, stripping as he did so. When he was finally in bed, he lay staring up at the ceiling, his mind running amok with uncertainty, nervousness, and maybe a little fear. Sure, he was thrilled to be seeing her again, but he wondered if the same feelings would pop up? And if they did, would he also run this time, or would he stick around and see what it was all about, to run the risk again of getting in way too deep?  He was older now; he'd changed and learned some things about himself.  Would she see a difference? Would she even care? What if she had moved on, gotten married, and had a bunch of kids?

“Fuck!” he muttered as he ran a hand over his face in aggravation. He closed his eyes and tried to calm his mind. His flight was leaving early tomorrow afternoon, and he still hadn’t even packed, but he knew that wasn’t what was aggravating him. No, he knew the source of his frustration, and he would see her in a few days.

* * *

 

Lennie stared up at the ceiling, willing herself to calm down as she thought about seeing him again.

Michael.

She was so nervous the first time she had met him, and she had made such an ass of herself trying to come off so smooth and put-together. Michael had laughed at her when she introduced herself, middle name included. She scrunched up her nose in aggravation as she remembered how amused he was by her. She couldn’t stay mad at him for long, though.  By the end of the next day, they had already spent an evening together, hanging out til late in the morning at local bars.  She had kicked his ass at pool, she thought with a wistful smile.  Even now her cheeks heated when she thought about what she had requested from him should she win.  A kiss.  A simple, chaste kiss, but one that would forever change their relationship from that moment forward, and one that would lead to a life-changing event for Lennie. It would have been a life-changing event for Michael, too, Lennie assumed – if he only knew.

Getting pregnant was not on her agenda, but lots of Jameson, Guinness, and belly shots could cause even the most virtuous person to make a mistake. She thought nothing of that first night, and she and Michael continued seeing each other through the filming.  She thought things were going well, and to say she was shocked when she discovered Michael was also seeing Nicole would be an understatement.  She felt like she had been kicked in the gut, the air knocked right out of her when she opened the door to his trailer and caught them together.  Sure, Michael had chased her, and tried to explain, but she wasn’t buying it.  She didn’t have time for games, and she didn’t have time for this _thing_ that she was developing for Michael.  It was way too fast, and it was apparent that he wasn’t feeling the same way she was.  She got in way over her head with him, way too fast.  She was lucky that she had dodged that bullet with him, and spared herself further heartbreak.

Or so she thought.

Two months later she found out she was pregnant.  It had obviously happened the first time they had slept together, as every other time they had used protection. The first time they were too drunk, and it just happened, and she hadn’t slept with anyone since Michael.  It was his child.  She thought about telling Michael, had even picked up the phone a few times, but when she found out he was still with Nicole she dropped it.  She had called Steve in a moment of weakness and spilled the proverbial beans, and Steve had urged her to tell Michael.  He let her know just how uncomfortable he was keeping such a secret between two people that he thought of as family, but in the end he agreed to do whatever she had wanted.  Now here she was with an almost 4-year old little boy, and she was going to meet his biological father (who had no idea he was a father) in a few days after all these years.  She looked over at her son laying next to her on the other pillow, and she smiled a bit.  He was so innocent, so precious to her.  His beautifully full lashes rested against his chubby little cheeks, his tablet still clutched against his chest.  She would never survive if he were to be taken from her. He was literally all the family she had left in the world, and she would die before she let him go.  She simply would not do it. 

She took a deep breath and pulled the covers up close, breathing in through her nose and out through her mouth as she tried to calm down.  She would just go down to Georgia, pay her respects, and get right back on the plane and come home.  In and out, nothing more.  If she did run into Michael, she would just play it cool.  Whatever feelings she had for him still, however little they may be, had to be pushed aside for the sake of her son.  She could not get close to him, as he would surely find out, and she just knew that Michael would take Cooper from her.  How long she could ride out this little charade, she had no idea.  She would just hope and pray for the best.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 


	3. Chapter 3

Lennie had just pulled her jacket back on and was grabbing her keys when the door opened and he walked in. She felt her heart skip a beat, and she hurriedly ducked into the kitchen in the hopes of avoiding him. She cowered by the cabinets against the wall, her back pressed into them as she waited for her escape. She had gone the whole day without seeing him, and now, a minute from leaving, he had to fucking show up??

She heard his voice, his tone gentle as he offered his condolences to Marie’s husband and daughter.  She listened intently, her head cocked to the side as she tried to discern where he was and where he was going in the room. It sounded like he was walking away, further into the house, so she chanced a peek out into the living area. She immediately regretted the decision, as Michael was standing less than two feet away, and he most definitely saw her.  His blue eyes met her brown ones for a split second.  She ducked back into the kitchen and cursed anything and everyone.  She opened her purse to find her keys and dropped them, the noise loud in the empty kitchen.

“Fuck!” she whispered furiously. She bent down to pick them up, but a hand had reached down and snatched up the keys before she could. She knew those hands, and she had not forgotten them all these long years.  She stood back up but did not meet his eyes as she held out her hand for the keys. She stared at the knob on the cabinet as she waited.

“Hello, Lennie.”

Her heart skipped a beat again at his voice, the deep timber of it still affecting her deeply. Her hand was shaking as she felt the weight of the keys drop into her palm.  She angrily shoved them back into her purse.  Without looking at him, she pushed past him and rushed through the kitchen doorway.  She was frantic in her attempt to escape and she very nearly ran to the door. Steve saw and met her there.

“Lennie? Love?” Steve called to her as he met her at the door. “Are you leaving?”

“Yes,” she gritted out from strained lips as she stared at the door before her.

“You saw him, then?” Steve asked knowingly.

“Let me out, Steve. Please,” Lennie brokenly pleaded with him. She looked up at him and her eyes were full of unshed tears. Steve immediately softened, his lips screwed up in regret and empathy for her.

“Okay sweetheart. Call me when you get to your room, right?”

“Okay,” Lennie whispered as he opened the door and waited as she stepped out. She walked quickly to the rental car and fumbled with the keys, very nearly dropping them again. She opened the door and got inside, and was closing it when it was pulled back open.

“Why are you running from me?” Michael asked her. He held the door open, pulling it tighter as she tried to pull it closed.

"You know why. Let me go."

“No. Can’t I even say hello to you?” He knelt down inside the door, and Lennie glanced at him briefly before looking away again. He sighed when he saw her eyes were full of tears.

“Lennie…love…I’m sorry.”

“Please let me leave, Michael. I have nothing to say to you.”

“And what if I said I had a lot to say to you?” Michael argued gently. His long fingers were braced against the door, and she stared at them for a few moments as she tried to compose her thoughts.

“Lennie, please. It’s been so long. Let’s talk, right? As friends, nothing more,” Michael coaxed again. Lennie gritted her teeth so hard her jaw began aching. She had to get out of here.

“We have nothing to say to each other. Let me leave, Michael.” She repeated as she continued staring straight ahead out over the lawn.

“I think we do. I was an asshole, Lennie. Can we go somewhere and talk?” Michael reached over and lightly trailed a long finger down her jaw, causing her to gasp and jerk away from him. She leaned back against the center console and stared at him, mustering all the anger and disgust she could.

“Don’t ever fucking touch me again, you asshole. Get out of my door, or I will start the car and drive away with you there. I don’t care,” she hissed.

They stared at each other for a few minutes, each waiting for the other to bend. Lennie shook her head and placed her keys in the ignition and started the car up. Michael conceded to her and stood up, albeit angrily. Lennie pulled the door and slammed it shut with a resounding thud. Without so much as a second glance at him, she put the car in drive and pulled out of the driveway and onto the street.

Michael stood in the driveway, watching as her taillights disappeared into the distance.

"Didn't go so well, huh?" Steve asked as he walked up and stood next to Michael.

"About as well as I expected," Michael muttered. The red glow from her taillights were gone now, just like she was yet again.

"Let's go inside, brother. We have a lot of catching up to do, yeah?" Steve clapped him on his shoulder consolingly, but Michael shook his head as he continued to stare out into the darkness.

"I really fucked her up, you know?"

"Mike, brother, it's not as bad as it seems," Steve offered and Michael turned and looked at him sharply. Steve had an odd look on his face.

"What does that mean, Steve?"

"It's just means that there's always hope," Steve smiled at his long-time friend. "Even for a bastard like yourself."

Michael snorted. "Thanks for your vote of confidence."

"Anytime, Mikey, anytime," Steve laughed. "Now come on, let's get inside and take care of business, right?"

Michael nodded and followed Steve back inside the house, but his thoughts were on her, as they had been for so many years.  As he sat down at the table, his mind raced as the past came crashing back down on top of him.  Seeing her tonight had confirmed what he'd thought all along - that he'd had something so good and he'd let it slip right through his fingers.   He had really, really fucked up and hurt her, and it had never been more obvious than tonight.  

 


	4. Chapter 4

Later that evening, Lennie was curled up on her bed in the hotel, mindlessly flipping through channels when her phone buzzed next to her. She immediately startled, her nerves still frayed from seeing Michael earlier. She sat up and hesitantly stared at her phone, only letting out her held breath when she saw it was Steve. Fuck, but she’d forgotten to call him. She knew he was a worrier by nature, and he would not let up until she answered. She pressed the answer button and held the phone to her ear as she laid back down on the bed.

“Hello?”

“Lennie! How are you, love?”

“I’m fine, Steve. Just resting at the room,” Lennie replied wearily.

“Are you sure? Do you want me to come by? I'm finished up with the family,” Steve offered.

“No. I'm good,” Lennie said. “Look, Steve, I rearranged my flight out tomorrow. I'm leaving in the morning now.”

“I should have expected that,” Steve sighed. “Lennie….look….I know you don’t want to hear this, but-”

“Please don’t, Steve. Don’t tell me what I should or shouldn’t do,” Lennie reproached him. She already knew where this conversation was heading, and she was simply not in the mood right now.

“No, Lennie. You listen to me, right? You know I love you dearly-”

“And you also love Michael!” she accused, angered at his persistence on the subject.

“Yes. You’re right and you know this. I love you both,” Steve admitted freely. “What you are doing is wrong, Lennie. No matter how you slice it, love. It’s simply wrong.”

“So what does that mean? Did you tell him?” Lennie whispered, horrified. She sat up and clutched the phone to her ear as her heart pounded in her chest.

“No. Of course not, but I don’t want to keep this secret any longer, Lennie. Do you have any idea how hard it is for me to do this? To see this man as much as I do, to work with him, and to keep such a secret from him?” Steve chided her. “Do you, Lennie? Not to mention, it’s not fair to Cooper. You know that,” he finished quietly. Lennie sniffled as a tear rolled down her cheek, but she knew he spoke the truth.

“I know, Steve. I know it’s not fair, but I am so afraid,” she whispered. She ran the back of her hand across her cheeks as she tried to wipe away the tears. “He’s going to take him from me, I just know it.”

“I am very certain he would never try to do that, Lennie. Whether you believe it or not, that man still has feelings for you. He said as much tonight.”

Lennie snorted in disbelief.

“It’s true, love,” Steve reiterated. “He was very upset after seeing you. He’s always asked about you over the years. I know he pissed it all away at the time, but I think he realizes that and he is very remorseful, Lennie. He really is.”

“There is nothing there anymore, Steve. It had barely begun before it was over,” Lennie retorted bitterly. That image of him in Nicole’s arms still made her blood boil to this day.

“He wanted me to tell him where you were. I think he was going to try to follow you.”

Lennie jerked her eyes up to the hotel room door, relieved when she saw the chain lock and dead bolt were still in place.

“You didn’t tell him, did you?”

“Of course not,” Steve replied. “I wanted to. I felt like I should, but I didn’t.”

“I’m sorry, Steve. I should have never told you about Cooper,” Lennie offered weakly, but Steve harrumphed in disapproval.

“Oh get off with that shit, Lennie.  Who else would you tell?”

“I know. I just hate having you in the middle.”

“And I hate being in the middle. I personally think you two could make a go at it, and that it would all work out in the end,” Steve stated. Lennie snorted loudly in disagreement.  “No, Lennie. Seriously. He’s changed, love. A lot. These past few years have grown him up considerably. He’s not the same man he was 4 years ago.”

“Yeah, well that’s all great, but I am not interested,” Lennie retorted.

“I think you should try. For Cooper, at least.”

“I’m gonna hang up now, Steve,” Lennie threatened softly.

“Okay, sweetheart. I’ll stop pushing. Just keep it in mind, yeah?”

“Bye, Steve.”

“Call me when you get home, Lennie? You know I'll worry. I should be down that way in a few months, so maybe we can arrange a sit-down then?" Steve asked hopefully.

"Absolutely. Just let me know when," she replied. "Steve....I really am sorry about all this. I wish I had done things differently, but I didn't and now I just don't know what to do anymore."

"Oh I think you know what needs to be done, Lennie. It's just a matter of doing it."

"I am so afraid, Steve," Lennie whispered as her throat constricted again. Right now she wanted to be at home, with Cooper in her arms and know that he was safe and that he wouldn't ever be taken from her. If she lost him she would have lost everything in this world.

"I know you are sweetheart, and I think that's normal, but it's only going to get harder the longer you wait," Steve warned her, and Lennie closed her eyes in acceptance. Deep down she knew he was right.

"I'll think about it....and....fig...figure something, okay?"

"Do that, please. I want to get this off my chest, and I want my friends to be okay."

"Yeah," Lennie mumbled.

"It'll be okay, love. I have faith in you and I have faith that Michael will do the right thing. That you'll both do the right thing." His voice was that of a fatherly figure more than a friend and Lennie clung to it, willing it to be true. The alternative - Michael taking Cooper from her - was not something she could even fathom in the slightest.

"I'm gonna go now, Lennie. Need to turn in and I think you do as well. Call me when you get back home? I'd love to talk with my godson again. You'll tell Cooper I miss him, yeah?"

"Yeah," Lennie repeated again. "I'll tell him and have him give you a call sometime this week."

"Alright, take good care, Lennie. Talk with you soon."

"Yeah," Lennie whispered once more as she hung up the phone.

She sat there staring at it for few moments, her fingers moving of their own accord as she scrolled through and found Michael's number. She had managed to keep up with him through Steve, always getting his new number and contact info just in case.  Just in case of what,  she did not know still.  Her finger hovered over his name for just a moment, a split-second of indecision where she thought about calling him, but she shakily dropped the phone. She just couldn't do it. He was going to be so mad at her, she just knew it. She could imagine his fury when he found out he had a child that was nearing 4 years old. Who wouldn't be furious over having something like that withheld from them?


	5. Chapter 5

“Coop! Cooper!” Lennie called to her son, who was at the moment actively ignoring her.

They were at the park on Alaska Street, just a few blocks away from campus.  Lennie had taken half the day off, needing this time with Cooper, and she’d picked him up early from preschool. She’d called Steve earlier that morning after she’d picked up Cooper, and on the ride to the park, he and Cooper had a conversation that only young kids could have with their godfather. Cooper had told Steve all about his new room at their new house, and that he wanted a puppy but “mommy said no,” and that he had to go because he was “going to the park on ‘Aska’ street.” Steve was still laughing when Lennie got back on the phone. She had told him that they were indeed heading to the park and that she would call him later that evening. They had been at the park for barely a half-hour when her son decided to scale Mt. Everest.

“Cooper Leon LeBlanc!” she screamed as she watched in horror as he maneuvered his way to the top of the monkey bars and began to try to stand up. She rushed over and pulled him off, trying to maintain a stern parental expression as he laughed and giggled.  He was such a little daredevil! She set him back down on the ground, but grasped his hands firmly in his as she met him at eye-level.

“Listen. If you do that again, we will go home.  Is that what you want?” she asked him sternly. He shook his unruly head of hair at her, his little brows furrowed in his seriousness.

“No, mama.”

“You are too little and you will fall and break your arm. Stay on the bottom, you hear?” She arched an eyebrow at him as she waited for his response.

“Okay,” he struggled in her grasp and she released him, smiling as he ran back to the playground.  A ball of energy, he was. He was an exhausting child, but she loved him more than life itself.

She continued to watch him as she sat back down on a nearby bench. It was early autumn, but in Louisiana that hardly meant anything as far as it being cool. It was still humid and there was barely a breeze.  Lennie wiped at the sweat on her brow as she pulled her cardigan off and sat back against the warm bench. Cooper had made a friend, and the two of them were chasing each other around the jungle gym.  She smiled affectionately as she watched her little bundle of energy.

“Hello, Lennie.”

Her smile disappeared, and her spine stiffened at that voice.  It could not be true. It could not be true.   She turned, not believing it could be possible, but sure enough there was Michael, less than three feet away from her. He was dressed casually, and wore shorts, a t-shirt and flip-flops.  He had shades on, and his beard was a little fuller, and he was wearing a ball cap.  She was absolutely speechless, her mouth gaping in shock as she stared at him.

“Bet this is a surprise, yeah?” Michael smiled sheepishly at her as he shrugged his shoulders. Lennie’s brows drew together in confusion and anger.

“How did you? How is this even? Who told you I was here?” she questioned him warily, but in her heart she knew the answer to her own question. Goddamnit, Steve!!  She inwardly cursed her friend for his meddling, but she would have to deal with that later.

“I badgered Steve til he told me,” Michael admitted.  He nodded at the bench. “Can I sit?”

“It’s a public park, do what you want,” Lennie huffed out. She turned to look again for Cooper, her heart racing once again when she realized her son was here, and Michael was here, and they were here at the same place, and this was not good.  Not good at all.  She desperately tried to calm herself down, tried to hide the trembling in her hands as she gathered her things and stood up.

“You’re going to leave just like that, then?” Michael looked up at her in disbelief.

“Leave me alone, Michael. I told you before. Please leave me alone.” She began walking towards the playground, not looking to see if Michael followed. She needed to get her son and get out of here immediately.

“Cooper! Cooper! Let’s go!” she called to her son. He turned to look at her, and she groaned inwardly. He had that look on his face that indicated that he was going to fight leaving. God, she really did not need this right now!! She continued walking towards the play area, beckoning for Cooper to come. He defiantly walked towards her, his little arms crossed over his chest in anger.

“But I don’t wanna go, yet!” he whined.

“I’m sorry, but we are leaving. Right now. Let’s go,” Lennie left no room for arguing as she grabbed him by his hand and started walking. She still didn’t turn to see if Michael was there. Cooper pulled at her hand and stumbled.

“Slow down! My shoe is coming off!” Cooper whined again. Lennie closed her eyes in frustration and dropped to the ground next to him and began fixing his shoes. She groaned again when she realized Michael had indeed followed them, and was standing right next to her. She could see his flip-flops out of the corner of her eye.

“You didn’t introduce me to your little friend, Lennie,” Michael said as he knelt down and began fixing Cooper’s other shoe.  Lennie slapped his hand away in anger and glared at him.

“Don’t touch him,” she hissed, just barely loud enough for Michael to hear.

“Is he yours?” Michael asked as he stood up.  He crossed his arms over his chest as he contemplated her and the boy. Dark auburn hair, a smattering of freckles across his nose, and aquamarine eyes.  He winked at him, and the child looked up at him and smiled. “He’s cute, Lennie.”

“Who’s Lennie?” the child asked and Lennie groaned.

“I’m Lennie,” Lennie answered in a clipped tone. She finished and stood, grabbing Cooper by the hand again.

“Lennie. Stop,” Michael ordered and Lennie halted in her tracks at his tone. She had just had about enough of this.  She turned back around to see Michael still standing there, arms still crossed over his chest.

“Are you married? Lennie, tell me if you are, and I’ll stop,” Michael said quietly as he walked towards her.

“Who’s he, mama?” Cooper asked innocently.  Michael's brows drew together.  He _was_ Lennie's child.

“He’s nobody, baby,” Lennie answered.

“I’m your mum’s friend,” Michael chuckled as he looked down at the boy. The child smiled at him, a huge smile full of teeth, and Michael winked again.  He looked back up at Lennie and cleared his throat. “Why did you never tell me you had a child, Lennie? Is he your only one?”

“It’s none of your business, Michael,” Lennie answered sweetly. Her eyes were shooting daggers at him but Michael was not deterred.

“Your name is Michael?” the boy asked and Michael grinned down at him again and nodded.

“Yes, sir, it is,” he replied, and Cooper burst out laughing.

“He called me a sir, mama!” Cooper giggled as he wrenched his hand away from his mother and held it out to Michael. “My name is Cooper. Cooper Leon LeBlanc.”

Michael knelt down and took Cooper’s tiny hand in his and gave it a manly, vigorous shake that caused Cooper to erupt into another round of giggles.

“Pleased to meet you, Mr. LeBlanc.  My name is Michael Fassbender.  At your service.” Michael answered seriously, eliciting another round of giggles.  He stood up and sobered, regarding Lennie carefully. “How old is he?”

“I’m almost 4,” Cooper answered matter-of-factly, and Lennie glared down at her son before turning her gaze back on Michael.

“Yes. He’s mine. No, I am not married. I am a single-parent. He’s almost four.  Anything else you need to know?” she asked him.  Her voice was positively dripping with acid as she stared at him.  

Michael rubbed his chin thoughtfully as he stared down at Cooper.  The boy had sat down and was digging at the ground with his fingers, pulling up pieces of grass and weeds as he searched for whatever it was he was looking for.  He was not paying attention to the two adults above him.  Michael looked back up at Lennie.

“Yeah. Where’s his father?”


	6. Chatper 6

Lennie stared at Michael for what seemed like an eternity.  He was staring right back, that crease between his eyes appearing again. It was only Cooper pulling at her hand that drew her attention back down.

“Mama? I’m hungry,” he whined as he pulled on her hand.  Lennie looked down at her son, and her eyes filled with tears that she furiously tried to blink away. Cooper frowned up at her. “Mama? Are you sad?”

Lennie hastily wiped at her face and forced a wobbly smile as she shook her head in denial.  For a moment she thought about fleeing, about running away, and trying to keep the secret a bit longer until she was ready. Deep inside, she knew she would never be ready though, and honestly she was tired of running.  It was exhausting, and it wasn’t fair to anyone - least of all to Cooper.  She took in a deep breath to steady herself and ruffled Cooper’s hair.

“No, baby. I’m not sad. It’s my allergies, remember?” She smiled at him again. “Give me a few minutes to talk with Michael and we’ll go, okay? Maybe get ice cream if you want?”

Cooper’s eyes lit up with delight. “I can have ice cream for dinner?”

“Maybe. Go over to the playground real quick.  Let me talk to my friend.”

Cooper ran back to the jungle gym, and both Lennie and Michael watched him go the small distance back to the playground. He immediately picked back up with his little friend from earlier. Lennie sighed and looked back at Michael.

“Michael, I need to tell you something,” she began.  She glanced at him quickly, but she couldn’t meet his eyes, and she twisted her hands together nervously.

“What?” His voice was low, menacing even, and Lennie felt the hairs on the back of her neck stand up on end.  He stepped closer to her, mere inches away, and looked down at her. “What do you need to tell me, Lennie?”

Lennie swallowed the spit that was choking her, but at the very same time her tongue felt like cotton in her mouth. It was an odd combination. She couldn’t get the words to form, let alone roll off her tongue.  She licked her lips nervously as she glanced back at Cooper.

“Whatever it is, say it,” Michael ordered her softly.  Lennie hung her head low, a mixture of shame and defeat weighing heavy on her.

“It’s Cooper. He’s your….he’s…he’s your son, Michael,” she whispered.  She stood there, waiting for whatever was going to happen to happen. She stared at the grass around Michael’s flip-flops, not even able to look at his feet.  She was so ashamed, and so scared, and she was going to have a panic attack.  She could feel it coming on as her heart pounded against her ribs.

“He’s what?” Michael growled, and Lennie flinched away from him.  He was furious.  She could feel the anger emanating off him and it terrified her.  She took a step back and chanced a guick glance up at him.  Yes, he was definitely furious.  His jaw was clenched tight, and that muscle in his forehead was ticking as he glared at her.  He had pulled his sunglasses off and his blue eyes were narrowed on her. They were ice cold, colder than she’d ever seen them, and she shivered under his gaze.

“He’s your son, Michael.”

“What kind of shit are you playing at, Lennie?” Michael asked her furiously. “Do you really think I am going to believe this? All these years, and now you try this?”

“It’s true.  Steve’s known all along,” she admitted weakly.  She heard Michael’s deep intake of breath, and when she looked up she could see the hurt on his face at his friend’s betrayal.

“Steve knew?” he gritted out from between clenched teeth.

“Yes,” Lennie whispered.  The secret was well and truly out now, for better or worse.  She looked back over at Cooper, ensuring he was okay before she looked back at Michael. He was staring off in the distance, looking away from her and away from Cooper.

“He’s known for how long?”

“Michael, I-”

“Goddamnit, Lennie! How long has he known?” Michael turned and practically yelled at her, causing her to take another step back.  He lowered his voice and took a step forward. “Has he known the entire time?”

“Pretty much, yes,” she admitted. A tear rolled down her cheek and she hastily wiped it away.  Michael crossed his arms over his chest and Lennie would swear he was on the verge of tears himself as he paced in front of her, kicking at the grass with his toes.  Whether they were tears of anger, or sadness, or what, she did not know. She had never seen him so mad. He walked back over and stood in front of her. his height intimidating her as he shook with anger.

“So let me get this right. You get pregnant, but you don’t tell me,” he jammed a finger in his chest for emphasis, “but you tell fucking Steve, and he keeps the secret – with you – for nearly four fucking years?”

“Yes. I am so sorry,” she whispered again.  Another tear rolled down, followed by another, and she hurriedly wiped at her face so as not to make a scene. “Can we go somewhere and talk, Michael?”

He turned to look at her in disbelief, his lips screwed up in distaste at the suggestion.

“Oh now you wanna fucking go somewhere and talk, right?  What about before, Lennie?  What about the past few fucking years when I have been calling you, and asking about you? What about fucking then?” He ran his hands through his hair in aggravation as he started pacing again.  "I can not believe this fucking shit right now!"

Lennie held her hands up in an effort to calm him down.  He was getting louder by the second and it had drawn a few concerned stares from nearby parents. She glanced again at Cooper, making sure he was safe and out of earshot.

“Michael. Please. I don’t want to make a scene.  Please, can we go somewhere?” Lennie pleaded with him, but he shook his head at her. He looked once more over in Cooper’s direction and shoved his sunglasses back on his face with finality.

“Fuck you, Lennie. This is some bullshit. Fuck you, and fuck Steve,” he snarled.  He turned and walked away, and the tears rolled down Lennie’s cheeks as she watched him go.  He disappeared around the corner of a building and she lost sight of him.  She felt like she was going to collapse right there on the spot, but seeing the curious looks from the other parents helped her focus and remain upright.  She headed over to the playground to collect her son, and she hastily pulled her sunglasses on to cover her blood-shot eyes.

“Cooper? Baby? Let’s go, okay?” she croaked.  She tried to make her voice sound as normal as possible. Her son came running over, a smile on his face as he grabbed her hands. He looked around and then looked back up at her.

“Where’s Michael, mama?” he asked, and Lennie swallowed down another lump in her throat.

“He had to go to his house, baby,” she whispered. She did not trust her voice.

“He was funny. He called me a sir,” Cooper giggled and Lennie couldn’t help but smile at him. “Are we going to see him again?”

“I don’t know, baby,” Lennie offered truthfully. She really did not know what Michael's intentions were now. She could feel the fear worming its way into her brain, and she pushed it aside. She would not worry about those possibilities until it happened.  She ushered Cooper to their car and helped him buckle.  Once she was inside, and buckled herself,  she reached for her cell phone and pulled up Steve's number.  She hastily sent a text to him, but her trembling fingers made it hard to hit the correct letter.

**He knows everything.  Be prepared.  He's very angry.  Will call you later.**

Lennie dropped her phone back on the seat and put the car in reverse and pulled out of the parking lot.  Cooper wanted ice cream and she was going to take him to get whatever he wanted.  She had to cherish every moment she had in case the worst happened. For right now, he was still all hers, and she was not going to waste a minute thinking about what could happen.


	7. Chapter 7

Michael sat at the bar as he nursed his whiskey. He was very nearly pissed, and needed to leave or he would never get back to his room. He tossed the remainder of the drink back, threw some money on the counter, and walked out to the elevator. He stepped into the elevator when it opened and pushed the button for his floor. He leaned back against the wall and closed his eyes. He had gone to the bar with every intention of finding someone to hook up with, someone to help dull his brain, but here he was going back to his room alone. Two women had seemed promising when he first arrived, but before long they fizzled out. They didn’t have dimples, and they didn’t have dark, chocolate hair, and they weren’t funny.  They weren't Lennie.  Ever since he'd seen her at the funeral, she was all he could think about.  Fucking hell.

The doors opened and he stumbled out into the hallway and made his way down to his room.

Once inside, he kicked off his shoes, removed his shirt and grabbed another half-empty bottle of whiskey. He took a sip straight from the bottle as he dialed Steve. He shuffled over to the window overlooking the street, and glared at the passing cars on the street below as he waited for Steve to pick up.

“Michael?”

“What the fuck, Steve?” Michael slurred out. He took another sip.

“You bloody bastard, you’re drunk aren’t you?” Steve chided him, and this only made Michael angrier.

“Don’t talk to me in that fucking tone, Steve. Why didn’t you tell me?” Michael accused.  He took another sip, grimacing as the whiskey burned his throat. He would have a nice hangover tomorrow, but he really didn’t give a fuck. He wanted to feel nothing.

“Mike. Look. It all happened so fast and Lennie was scared. You were with Nicole and she didn’t want to bother you,” Steve explained.

“You’ve known the whole time then?” Another sip in an attempt to push down his fury.

“Yes. Lennie called me as soon as she found out.”

Michael set the whiskey down on the bedside table and fell back on the bed. The room was starting to spin and he closed his eyes against it. Never in a million years would he believe his friend would betray him like that. Never.  He didn't know what was more upsetting, if he were to be honest. Steve's betrayal or Lennie's.

“I’m going to call lawyers. This is….bullshit….Steve,” Michael slurred out and Steve sighed in exasperation.

“You’re drunk, Michael. You need to try to talk to her before you do something stupid.”

“Fuck you,” Michael mumbled.

“No fuck you, you rat arsed idiot! All these years you’ve been whinging on and on about her, and never doing shit about it. Now you have an opportunity, and although it’s not ideal, you’re going to go and fuck it right up again,” Steve replied loudly.  Michael winced at the noise.

“Fuck off, Steve,” Michael mumbled again.

“Alright, I’ve had enough of your shit, Fassbender. Call me when you’re reasonable!” Silence came over the line.

Michael opened his eyes and squinted at the phone. Steve had hung up on him.  His friend had actually hung up on him.  What the fuck? 

He quickly dialed him back.

Steve did not pick up this time. Michael called again, and left a very nasty voice-mail. When he called a third time and got no answer, he flung his phone against the wall in anger.

"Fuck all of them," he muttered as he flicked off the bedside lamp and lay back against the bed. He would deal with all this shit in the morning.


	8. Chapter 8

It was later that evening as Lennie was putting Cooper to bed that her phone began ringing.  She stared at it across the living room, eyeing it warily as it buzzed against the wood of the coffee table. When it stopped ringing, she turned back to Copper’s room and walked in and sat on the edge of his bed.  She smiled down at him as she pushed his hair off his forehead. He desperately needed a haircut, but trying to get him to sit still was a nightmare. He would probably have half of a haircut until he was 18, she thought ruefully.

“Mama?” he whispered sleepily as his eyes cracked open, revealing just the tiniest sliver of blue. Fighting sleep as usual.  It was almost 11pm, and she was exhausted so she knew he had to be!

“Yeah, baby?” Lennie leaned down and kissed him on his forehead.  He scrunched up his lips at her kiss – as usual.  Such a little boy.

“Trevor asked if Michael was my daddy,” Cooper whispered again as he recounted his playground conversation with his little friend.  He clutched his tablet to his chest and closed his eyes again.  Lennie was thankful, for she did not want him to see the look on her face, or the tears that had gathered in her eyes.  She knew it was only a matter of time before he asked questions about his father, but she was not even remotely prepared to answer them.

“And what did you say, Coop?” she asked him gently.

“That he was your friend,” Cooper replied. “And that he called me sir.” He giggled again with his eyes closed.

Lennie smiled down at her son, her chin trembling with sadness.  This was such a fucked up situation on all accounts, and she really had no one to blame but herself.

“I love you, Cooper.  You know that right?” Lennie whispered as she leaned down and kissed his forehead again. This time he must have been too sleepy to move away from her, because only his lips scrunched up in distaste at her actions.

“I love you too, mama,” he mumbled, half-asleep.  He rolled over on his side, and Lennie used her mommy stealth to pull the tablet out of his arms. She tucked him in at the same time, and stood up.  She stood there by his bed, staring  down at him for a moment longer, just soaking him up in all of his innocence.

Would he be mad at her for lying, as Michael was mad?  Would he ever understand why she did what she did?  She did not know the answers to anything at the moment, and she felt like she was waiting for the bottom to drop out. Sighing in resignation, she placed his tablet next to his bed on his little table, and walked to the door and pulled it almost shut behind her. She walked back out into the living room and stared over at her phone on the coffee table, wondering who had called earlier. She thought about going to get it, but instead headed to the kitchen. She needed something to drink.  Something strong at that.

She opened her cabinets and looked far back at the stash that she had carted with her from the old apartment.  She rummaged through the small box, pulling out half empty bottles of liquor. There was a pint of Jack Daniels that had never been opened, but she placed it back in the box with a grimace.  Too syrupy sweet.  She moved on and pulled out some tequila, and cocked her head.  Pina colada’s sounded good right now, but the blender was out of the question.  She grabbed the next bottle, and immediately felt the tears form again.  It was the bottle of Jameson that she had been carrying around since the last time she saw Michael.  She held it in her hands as the memories came flashing back to the time when it all fell apart with him on the set of _Shame_.

She was on her way to see him, and had gone and picked up a bottle of his favorite whiskey to surprise him with. They had been seeing each other for a little over two months, having first started hanging out a few weeks before filming started.  She thought things were good between the two of them, but then she’d never really had any serious relationships. It was always school and work before play, and she’d never had time for serious stuff.  Michael was something different.  Although she’d actively tried to avoid him from the beginning, he was persistent, and her walls came crashing down.  In the short amount of time they were together, he had wormed his way into her heart.  She might not have called it love per say, but it was very, very close.  She wanted nothing more than to be around him.  She thought he felt the same way. 

Apparently not.

Neither of them ever knocked on the others' door; they were always sneaking in and out at weird hours so they just left the doors unlocked.  She had the whiskey in hand when she opened his trailer door, and that was when she was kicked in the gut.  He was shirtless, and Nicole, one of the other actresses in the movie, was wrapped around him. It was obvious what they were doing. Lennie slammed the door and ran back to her trailer.  Michael followed her and tried to explain, but she wouldn’t hear it.  She had a meeting with Steve the next day in which she explained that she would quit if she had to work with Michael again.  Steve agreed, relayed the message to Michael, and she finished out the last few weeks of the film not seeing him or Nicole. That was the last time she heard from him.  She blocked his phone number, and tried to block him from her mind and heart.  He was an asshole,  just like the rest of them.

She stared down at the whiskey in her hand, still sealed, and put it back in the box. That was definitely out of the question, because she would drink the whole bottle, and that’s how they ended up with Cooper. Too much drinking and not enough restraint.  She closed the cabinets and opened the fridge. Salt of the Earth Moscato. That she could drink.  Not bothering with a glass, she carried the bottle back to the couch and sat down. She took a long sip as she picked up phone.  No time like the present. 

It was Steve. He’d called her multiple times. She was relieved it was Steve, but surprisingly – or not – she felt a little disappointed that it wasn’t Michael calling.  She screwed up her lips in derision at herself; she’d probably never hear from him again.  She called Steve back, and he answered on the first ring.

“My god, Lennie! Why don’t you answer your fucking phone, love?” he asked in exasperation.

“Well hello to you too, Steve,” Lennie replied sarcastically.

“How are you?” Steve asked hesitantly.

“Right now I don’t know if I want to cuss you out, or thank you. I guess we’ll see when Michael files for custody,” Lennie said, and she tried her damnedest to keep the tears out of her voice.

“He’s very pissed, Lennie.  He cursed me out, and I hung up, and then he called me back to curse me some more, but I let it go to voicemail. I am not dealing with that kind of shit!”

“I’m sorry, Steve. Whatever happened between us should have never involved you, or threatened your friendship.”

“Yeah, well I made that decision. It’s my own fault, and I am sure he’ll come around,” Steve said easily. “Did he see Cooper at all?”

“Yes.”

“And?” Steve prodded.

“It was before he knew he was his son. They joked around a bit. After it all came out, Michael told me to fuck off and left,” Lennie replied, her voice getting angrier by the second.

“So nothing after that?” Steve asked carefully.

“Why? What aren’t you telling me, Steve?  What did he say to you?” Lennie’s voice rose with anxiety.

“Nothing, Lennie,” Steve replied, but she could hear it in his voice. He was withholding something.

“Steve. He’s my son. Please don’t lie to me,” Lennie choked out. “What did he say?” Steve sighed and Lennie felt her heart thud in her chest. This could not be good.

“He said that he was going to consult with his lawyers in the morning, Lennie,” Steve admitted quietly. “What that means, I don’t know. He was throwing lots of accusations around, and blaming me, and blaming you, and he’s not thinking straight.”

Lennie couldn’t speak, her throat constricted with pain. The thing she feared the most was coming true.

“Lennie?” Steve called to her gently. “Lennie? Are you alright?”

“No.” She was strangled with emotion, barely able to speak.

“He’s not going to take Cooper from you, Lennie. Mike’s not that kind of man. He’s just really pissed right now.” Steve’s words fell on deaf ears as she contemplated her future with her son.

“He has so much money, Steve.  I’ll never be able to fight him,” she whispered again.

“I have money too, Lennie. I’d never let that happen, but I don’t think it’ll go that far besides.”

“I need to go, Steve.” She was crying now, her voice cracking with emotion.

“Call me in the morning?” Steve asked gently. “Try not to worry about it, love.  I think it’ll look clearer in the morning.  I am going to try to talk some sense into the bastard before he does something he’ll regret.”

“Okay,” Lennie croaked.

She wasn’t even listening anymore, and she hung up the phone without saying goodbye. She dropped it on the coffee table and stumbled back into Cooper’s room and crawled in bed with him. She curled her body around his and pulled him into her chest as she sobbed silently into the dark.

She was going to lose her son.  The only thing that mattered to her in the whole world, and she was going to lose him. 


	9. Chapter 9

“Hello?” Lennie sleepily mumbled into her phone. 

“We need to talk,” Michael’s terse voice came over the line. Lennie’s eyes popped open and she scrambled to get out of bed and away from Cooper. He was still sleeping, thank goodness. She stepped out of his room and pulled the door shut behind her softly and walked down the hall. 

“About what?” she stammered over the phone. She stood by the bar in the kitchen, her knuckles turning white on the hand that was gripping the edge. 

“You know what about, Lennie. Don’t play dumb. When can we meet up?” Michael replied sharply. Lennie had goosebumps at his tone; he was so angry. 

“Uhm…I am off the rest of the week. What…whatever you want to do, Michael.”

“Fine. Your place this afternoon? I have stuff I need to take care of this morning, and I have a flight out late this evening.”

“Oh…okay…” Lennie stuttered again. She would do whatever it took to keep him calm. 

“Text me your address and I’ll come over around 1:00,” Michael snapped, and Lennie finally got angry at his tone. There was no reason for him to be such a dick. She swallowed the lump of fear in her throat that had risen steadily higher. She would not cower before him. Whatever else happened, she would not bow down to him, and she certainly would not have an angry man in her house with her son. Even if he was her child’s father. 

“That’s fine, Michael,” she replied coolly. “But understand, you will not come here and make a scene in front of my son. We can be civil, or you can stay away and we let the courts handle it.”

Michael chuckled sarcastically over the line, drawing even more ire from Lennie. 

“I don’t think you want that, love. You’ll never win,” Michael shot back. 

“Don’t threaten me, Michael,” Lennie said calmly. “I am the only person he’s ever known.”

“Because of decisions you made, love. Not me,” Michael retorted angrily. This conversation was going nowhere, and they both knew it. 

“Fine. I’ll text my address. You can come around 1:00 like you said. Goodbye.” 

She hung up the phone, not bothering to wait for a response. She stared at the clock on the wall. It was 9:32. In a few hours, that bastard would be in her house. She opened her phone back up and found her lawyer’s number. She would not be afraid of him and his threats, and she would not go down without a fight.


	10. Chapter 10

Lennie watched the clock like a hawk, delighting in every minute that went past 1:00.  It was nearing 1:30, and just when she had given up, the doorbell rang.  Her heart thumped loudly in her chest as her anxiety rose.  Cooper came bounding down the hall.

“Mama? Who’s at the door?”

“Nobody.  Why don’t you go back to your room, and play for a bit while I go see who it is?” she asked hopefully.  It would be too much for her to have to do this with Cooper around.  She had wanted to find a sitter, but she also wanted to play it safe with Michael. Her lawyers said that he could use anything against her in court, and she wanted to give him the least amount of ammo as possible. In true form, Cooper crossed his arms over his chest and pouted as the doorbell rang again.

“I wanna see who it is!” he whined. Lennie threw her hands up as she walked to the door and opened it.  Michael was standing there, glaring at her, but as soon as he saw Cooper peeking around her legs, his face softened.

“Hey buddy! How are you?” Michael leaned down, hands on knees,  and smiled at Cooper.

“Michael!” Cooper cried in delight as he launched himself at the man.  Lennie cringed while Michael laughed and hugged Cooper against him.

“Come inside, Michael.” Lennie forced a smile as she held the door open wider.  Michael cocked an arrogant eyebrow at her, and let Cooper pull him in the house by his hand.

“Do you want to see my room?” Cooper asked Michael hopefully.

“Coop-” Lennie began, only to be cut off by Michael.

“Yes, sir,” Michael interrupted. He stared at Lennie, daring her to defy him. 

She glared back at him but said nothing as Cooper dragged him down the hall and into his room.  Not bothering to follow them, Lennie walked to the kitchen and grabbed a bottle of water with shaky hands.  She closed her eyes, and tried to calm herself down.  When she was finally able to breathe normally, she walked over to the bay window looking out over the backyard. She had just had a pool ordered, and the hole in the ground was still fresh from the workers. The way it rained here made it difficult to get anything done. She frowned as she really took notice of the mess out back. She needed to call the contractors sometime this week.

“Putting in a pool?” Michael interrupted her thoughts. Lennie jumped and looked at him out of the corner of her eye before turning around.

“Where’s Cooper?”

“I convinced him to let us talk for a few minutes,” Michael replied. “Don’t think this is the kind of conversation he needs to hear.”

“And what kind of conversation is that, Michael?” Lennie bitterly asked. “The one where you tell me you’re going to take him from me?”

Michael was taken aback, and stared at her with brows drawn together.

“Do you really think I am that kind of person, Lennie? That I would remove him from the only home he has ever known?” He was shocked that she would think that, but she just shrugged him off and looked back out over the back yard.

“I thought I knew you, Michael, but apparently I do not.  Besides, you told Steve you were calling your lawyers.”

“You’ve talked to Steve then?”

“Yes,” Lennie admitted. What was the use in hiding anything anymore?

“He called me this morning as well,” Michael began. They were interrupted when Cooper came running out of his room towards them.

“Michael! Five minutes is up!” he cried gleefully. “You said we would go outside, so can we go outside now?” He grabbed Michael’s hand and pulled him towards the back door.  Michael looked at Lennie expectantly, but she just shrugged again.

“You were timing me, then?” Michael asked Cooper, and the boy nodded his head as they went out back. 

Lennie watched through the window as Cooper showed Michael everything there was to see about the new pool. And his swing-set. And his four-wheeler that didn’t work because it needed a new battery. At one point they were both bent over, and she watched as Michael pulled an earthworm out of the ground much to Cooper’s delight. They bent over together, examining it, and Lennie felt her heart constrict as she watched her son with his father. They were so good together; it was literally like all of the pieces were coming together the way they were supposed to.   The way they maybe would have come together if Michael hadn't been cheating on her.  Her lips screwed up in distaste at the memory.  She would have to watch herself, and be realistic.  This wasn't some made-for-tv movie where everyone ended up happily ever after.  This was real life. 

Unable to watch anymore, Lennie retreated back into the den and pulled out her laptop. It was weird having time to sit and look at emails and case notes uninterrupted when Cooper was around, but she was going to do just that while she had the opportunity. Focusing on other people’s problems would hopefully help take her mind off of hers.


	11. Chapter 11

Sometime later, the back door flew open and Cooper rushed in with Michael in tow. Lennie got up and warily peeked out into the kitchen. Michael and Cooper were seated at the table, each with a juice box in hand. Cooper’s little legs swung back and forth as he talked Michael’s ear off.

“And for Halloween I am gonna be Rocket. Do you know who Rocket is? Have you seen _Guardians of the Galaxy_?” Cooper inquired. Michael shook his head as he chuckled at the boy. Cooper’s eyes got wide with disbelief.

“You haven’t seen _Guardians of the Galaxy_?” Cooper was beyond shocked and Lennie hid her smile as she watched from around the corner. Her smiled disappeared, however, at his next words.

“We have it. We can ask mama if you can stay and watch it. You wanna do that?” Cooper slid off his chair and ran back to find his mother, nearly colliding with her as she came around the corner into the kitchen. “Mama!”

“Stop running in the house, baby,” Lennie scolded him gently. Cooper ignored her as he grabbed her hand and pulled her over to the table. She sat at the opposite end, far away from Michael.

He sipped on his juice box as he regarded her carefully.

“Mama! Michael wants to watch _Guardians of the Galaxy_ with me. Can we? Please?” Cooper pleaded as his big, blue eyes pulled at her heartstrings.

“Baby, I think Michael has to leave tonight.” She looked up at Michael with a pointed look. “Right? You have to head home, remember?” Michael shrugged and Lennie inwardly groaned. The bastard knew what he was doing.

“I can rearrange my flight. It’s not a big deal, and I am in no hurry,” he replied easily. Cooper gave a shout of happiness.  Lennie wanted to crawl over the table and punch Michael in his smug face, but she held her temper in check for her son’s sake.

“So can he? Please? We’ll be quiet, I promise!” Cooper pleaded again.

“I guess it’s up to Michael. Whatever he wants to do,” Lennie said from between clenched teeth as she glared at Michael.  That bastard had the nerve to laugh at her as he took another sip from his juice box.  He loudly slurped the last of it down, earning another giggle from Cooper, and slapped his hand down on his thigh.

"It’s settled then, sir.  I’ll hang out with you for a while and watch your movie,” Michael said.  Lennie closed her eyes in aggravation and took a deep breath to calm herself. Cooper ran back over to Michael and grabbed his hand again.

“Let’s go watch it now? You want to?” Cooper asked eagerly. Michael leaned down and spoke conspiratorially to the boy.

“Listen, I need to talk to your mum first, okay?  I’ll come watch the movie, but you have to give us some time for grown-up talk.” Michael held out his hand to Cooper. “Deal?”

Cooper grabbed his hand and Michael shook it like before, eliciting even more laughter from Cooper.

“How long do you have to talk?” Cooper whispered to Michael.

“Fifteen minutes this time?” Michael whispered back.

“How long is that?” Cooper asked innocently and Michael threw his head back and laughed.  He pulled his watch off, and set the timer, and handed it to Cooper.

“When it beeps, you’ll know it’s time.” Cooper stared at the watch for a minute and without a word, ran off, back to his room.  Michael sat back against the chair and looked at Lennie with hooded eyes.  She was staring right back at him, just as wary.

“If you really don’t want me here, I’ll leave,” Michael offered up finally. Lennie snorted and looked away.  She was on the verge of tears.

“You’ve already told him you were staying,” she mumbled.  This was all overwhelming, and happening way too fast.  She blinked rapidly as she tried to control her emotions in front of Michael.

“I’m not trying to be an asshole, Lennie.  I know how badly I fucked up, and I want to try to fix that, but right now I need to focus on my son.”

Lennie’s eyes snapped back to him at that statement.

“Your son?” she whispered brokenly. Michael nodded.

“My son,” he replied.

He wasn’t being mean, or hateful, or spiteful in the way he said that, but Lennie knew he was serious.  His blue eyes were clear and focused on her. She looked away again and wiped at the corner of her eyes with her fingertips.

“This is very hard for me, Michael,” she admitted, her voice barely above a whisper.  Michael stood up, walked over, and sat down in the chair next to her. He reached out and attempted to grab her hand, but she snatched it away from him.  He sighed and sat back, his hands folded in his lap.

“I know it’s hard, Lennie.  It’s hard for me, too.  Imagine finding out you have a four year old son and one of your very best friends lied about it the whole time?” Michael said, and Lennie’s lips flattened.  “Can you see this from my point of view?  Can you even try? Why didn’t you call me?”

“You know why, Michael,” she retorted bitterly, her brown eyes flashing with anger as she looked at him.  Michael rubbed the back of his neck in regret.

“Yes. I know I fucked that up, but that doesn’t justify you not telling me about the baby.” He stared at her intensely.  Lennie looked away and then back down to her lap as she fiddled with her fingers.

“I don’t know what to do, Michael,” she said, shaking her head slowly. “I mean, I don’t even know how to tell Cooper what I’ve done.”  A tear rolled down her cheek at this admission, and she covered her face with her hands as she began crying softly.  Michael scooted his chair over next to her and grabbed her around the shoulders and pulled her into his chest. She resisted for just a moment, but Michael was stronger.  She relented and bowed her head against his chest and cried.  Michael rubbed her shoulders soothingly, and occasionally kissed her on top of her head.

“We’ll figure it out, love,” he promised her.  Lennie wiped at her face and pulled back, but Michael wasn’t letting her go so quickly. He lifted his hands to her face and cupped her cheeks as he wiped away the tears with his thumbs. Lennie stared at him, feeling that familiar pull that she thought was long dead.  Her lips parted and she instinctively licked her lower lip, drawing Michael’s eyes down.

“It’s beeping!” Cooper called as he came running down the hall, interrupting them. 

Michael dropped his hands and Lennie scooted back out of his embrace. They both sat there, looking guilty, as Cooper dropped the movie on the table with a resounding thud.

“Are you ready to watch now?” he asked eagerly.  He looked between his mother and her friend, innocent to the underlying tension that was weighing heavy on them both. Michael finally tore his eyes away from Lennie and looked down at Cooper with a smile.  Lennie let out the breath she was holding.

“I think so, mate,” he said as he stood up. “Where are we watching this movie?”

“We can watch it in my room. Or the living room? Where do you want to watch it?” Cooper asked as Michael followed him into the living room.

“Why don’t you watch it in your room, Coop?” Lennie called, halting them in their tracks.  She looked to Michael. “I’ve got some work to catch up on in the den, if you don’t mind?” Michael grinned at her, the huge grin with all the teeth, the one that made her weak in the knees and made her want to grin back.  She swallowed hard as she felt her cheeks heat under his gaze.  Michael winked at her, and she immediately narrowed her eyes on him.  What a bastard he was. 

"I'll be in the den if you need anything," she said stiffly.  She didn't wait for Michael to reply, and hearing his deep rumble of laughter only infuriated her more.  What a bastard he was!


	12. Chapter 12

Not having heard any sounds coming from Cooper’s room for a while, Lennie softly walked down the hall and peeked in. She was momentarily stunned by what she saw. They had dragged the blankets off the bed and had them spread out over the floor in front of the television.  All the pillows were piled up, along with whatever stuffed animals Cooper could find. The movie was still playing, but it was obvious that both were asleep.  Cooper was curled up in a little ball, his tablet clutched against his chest in the usual fashion.  Michael was a lying on his side, facing Cooper with his arms crossed over his chest in a similar fashion to his son.  She walked over and sat down on the bed, staring at her son and his father silently. 

There was so much going on in her head at that moment, and a lot of it was anger - anger at Michael for showing up, anger at his ability to insert himself so easily into Cooper’s life, and anger that she still felt anything for him.  She definitely felt something for him, although what it was, she had no idea yet.  She had assumed that she would still hate him as much as she did the night she caught him cheating, but right now, seeing him with Cooper just made her sad.  More than anything she was sad.  More than being angry, and wanting to punish him, she felt sad for him and Cooper.

Sighing, she stood up and started picking up some things quietly, a few toys that she could put away, a pile of clothes that had been dumped out. She was piling Cooper's clothes back in the basket when she accidentally pulled the cord to his CD player out of the wall, sending the device crashing down to the floor with a loud crash. It was muffled by the carpet, but it was still loud nonetheless.  She glanced up and caught Michael staring at her, his eyes heavy with sleep.  He looked around, looked down at Cooper, and then looked back up at her.  Lennie ignored him and picked up the music player and set it back on the desk quietly. She gave up cleaning Cooper’s room, and walked out the door, and back into the living area.  She prayed that Michael wouldn’t follow, but she had no such luck.  She had just sat down on the couch when she heard his footsteps padding down the wooden floors of the hallway.  He walked around the corner and she instantly stiffened. Thankfully he plopped down on the loveseat across from her.

“Sorry. Guess I was more tired than I thought,” Michael replied sleepily.

“Or hungover,” Lennie muttered.  Michael looked at her sharply, that crease between his brows appearing as he tried to understand her.

“What’s wrong, Lennie? I thought we had a good day.  It went better than I sort of thought it would, to be honest with you.”

Lennie cut her eyes at him before looking back at the television that was muted.

“So what’s the plan now? Are we going to court, or what?” Her voice was level as she spoke, belying the turmoil that was swirling deep inside.

“You know, Lennie, it almost seems like you want to go to court,” Michael coolly replied.  He leaned forward and placed his elbows on his knees as he assessed her.  Lennie shrugged.

“It is what it is, Michael. Let’s not kid ourselves, right?” she bit out.   Michael said nothing for a few moments, but when he did finally speak the anger was clear in his voice.

“You are still pissed at me from what happened before, aren’t you?  And now you’re going to hold Cooper over my head, right?”

Lennie sat in silence, refusing to answer his questions. The only indication of any emotion within her was the way her chin trembled as she tried to control her tears.

“That is such bullshit, Lennie. What happened, happened, okay?  I can’t undo it, even if I wanted to, and believe me I do,” he said.  “Just like you can’t undo what you’ve done,” he finished emphatically. 

Lennie’s head snapped up in anger and she glared at him.  Her eyes were glossy with angry tears that were threatening to fall.

“I think you need to leave, Michael,” she said quietly.  Michael stared at her in disbelief.

“Are you fucking kidding me now?  What sort of game are you playing at?” Michael was getting more and more aggravated.  She didn’t give a damn.

“I want you to leave, Michael,” she was crying now, her tears hot against her cheeks as the rolled down and landed on her shirt.

“Why won’t you even try to be reasonable about this?” he appealed to her.

“We’ll work it out in court.” Lennie’s voice was thick with emotion, and Michael stood up in frustration.  He walked over to her and sat on the coffee table in front of her.

“You know what I think is going on?” He spoke softly, but Lennie could not meet his eyes. “I think you still have feelings for me, and you just realized it, and it’s scaring the shit out of you.”

“Whatever,” she croaked.  Michael chuckled, the sound awkward in the midst of so much tension.

“Whatever,” he repeated softly. “I think I’m right, Lennie.  I think you're scared, and you think I am going to take Cooper away from you for whatever silly reason, and you are running.  Just like you always did.”

“Well you gave me a reason to run, didn’t you?” she retorted bitterly.  Michael sighed in exasperation.

“You’re really not going to give this a go then, are you?”

“I want you to leave. Please leave before Cooper comes back in.  Please,” she was crying softly. She couldn’t take much more.

“Let the lawyers handle it, then?” Michael’s voice had deepened in his anger.  Lennie helplessly shrugged again as Michael stood up.  He walked around the living room, stopping to stare at pictures on the wall - pictures of Cooper, and Lennie and Cooper, and various other people that he did not know.  He stood before one of Cooper when he was a tiny baby, just barely born.

“You should have told me, Lennie,” his voice was gruff now with his own emotion as he stared at the picture in the frame.

“Were you ever going to tell me?” He turned to her now. “Or were you just going to sort of go through life living a big fucking lie?”

“I don’t know, Michael.  I don’t know what I was thinking,” she offered weakly.  Michael quickly walked back over to her and sat down on the table again in front of her.  He reached out and pulled both her hands in his and held them tightly.

“Look at me, Lennie.” His voice was still rough. “Fucking look at me!”

Lennie looked up at him, and she was immediately aware of just how angry and hurt he was.  She could see it in his eyes.  She started crying even harder, and she could taste the tears on her lips as they rolled down her cheeks.  Her hazel eyes were blurry as she stared at Michael before her....

Then he kissed her.

He pulled her to him with her hands, his lips hot on hers with a mixture of longing and desperation.  She let him kiss her.  She relished the way his lips felt against hers after so long, the feeling of his warmth against her as he softly nipped at her lower lip.  She moaned into his mouth, breathy sighs of contentment, and she relaxed into his embrace as her hands grasped his tightly.   At first she didn't struggle; it was easy to get lost, to forget about everything that was going on around them and just feel, but somewhere deep in the back of her mind the alarms sounded.  They sounded loudly.   With a groan, she roughly pushed Michael away, wrenched her hands from his and stood up on wobbly legs.

“Get out!” she spat.  She swiped the back of her hand across her face in disgust.  Michael stood as well, and his close proximity caused Lennie to fall back on the couch. Michael was breathing just as heavily as she was as he returned her glare. He angrily ran a hand through his hair.

“You are so full of shit, Lennie. You know that?”

“Get out!” she cried, much louder now.  Michael frowned at her as he walked around the coffee table and picked up his cell phone and shoved it in his pocket.

“Keep your fucking voice down, Lennie,” Michael growled.

“Get out. I’m not telling you again,” she warned him as she stood, fists clenched at her side.

“What about Cooper?” Michael gestured down the hall.

“What about him?”

“You’re going to regret this, Lennie.  Don’t force my hand,” Michael cautioned her.  It only served to infuriate her even more. She narrowed her eyes at him angrily, but inside she felt the panic coming on at his implication.

“Don’t threaten me.  You’ve never been there, and no judge would give you custody without reason,” she hissed.

“Just fucking stop, Lennie!  Just stop!” he barked at her in frustration, causing her to flinch. “Tell me you haven’t thought about me over the past four years? Tell me I’m wrong.  You had my baby, for fuck’s sake! That has to mean something!”

Lennie crossed her arms over her chest in protest. “You’re wrong.”

“No.  You’re fucking wrong, Lennie. A few minutes ago you were kissing me just as much as I was kissing you.”

“Get out,” she repeated again.  She would not – could not – go down this road with him.  Not now.  Maybe not ever.

“I made a fucking stupid mistake, Lennie. I know that now. I am not asking for love and marriage and all that shit, just a chance,” Michael implored her. “Just give it a chance. To be friends, or whatever, but let’s keep this out of court.”

Lennie stared at him for a moment, indecision weighing heavily on her mind. If she gave Michael a chance, and everything worked out, then it was good. Maybe. If it didn’t work out, he would be even madder than he was now, and he would surely try to take Cooper from her then. Could they co-parent? Could she stand to be around him as Cooper’s father, but nothing more? Too many things were running through her head and she couldn’t think straight. She couldn’t trust him – he’d proven that. Now he expected her to not only trust him with her heart, but with Cooper as well? No fucking way. She just couldn’t take that chance again.

“Please go,” she whispered sadly. “Please, just go.” She felt the tears pricking at her eyes, and she knew it was only a matter of time before she started crying. She was just barely holding it together now. Michael stared at her for a tense moment, his jaw clenching in anger.

“So that’s it, then?” Michael bit out.  Lennie nodded; she was no longer able to speak for fear of breaking down and crying.  Michael hesitated for a moment longer, but then finally walked to the kitchen and snatched his keys off the table.  He walked back to the living room, and stopped at the front door to look at Lennie once more.

“You’re making a big mistake. I hope you know that.” His voice was deadly calm, and Lennie flinched as he slammed the door behind him.  She sank back down on the couch, the breath she had been holding rushing from her body.  She sat there, shaking, staring at the muted television for some time as she struggled to reign in her emotions. She was beginning to feel numb, so overwhelming was her anxiety.  She felt like she had just made the biggest mistake of her life, and there was not damn thing she could do about it.


	13. Chapter 13

The following Thursday, Lennie received a phone call from an unknown number.  She was sitting in her office, and she watched the phone warily as it vibrated against the desk.  It buzzed when the call went to voice mail.  She shakily picked it up and replayed the message.  It was Michael’s attorney – one of them - and they said they were representing Michael, and that it would behoove her to have her lawyers contact his for mediation.  To keep things out of court, they said.  Lennie ended the call with trembling fingers.  She sat at her desk, motionless, her mind racing with a thousand thoughts. What should she do? Should she try to fight him? Should she give him a chance?

This past week, Cooper had been talking incessantly about Michael - where he was, when he was coming back, how long she had known him. It was non-stop and it was starting to really wear on Lennie’s nerves. Telling Cooper that Michael was his father – explaining that mess to him – was something she was not even remotely ready to deal with.  She picked her phone back up and dialed Steve, who thankfully answered.

“Hello?”

“Steve? It’s me.”

“I was wondering how long it would take before you called,” Steve chuckled. Lennie frowned in aggravation.

“What does that mean?”

“Michael’s lawyers contacted you, then?” he asked easily.  Lennie felt her anger rising.

“So you knew?” she demanded. “Of course I did. I told him to go for it.”

“What?!” Lennie sputtered in anger and disbelief. “Why would you do that?”

“Because you’re not being reasonable, Lennie.  You need to talk to the man, to try to work this out,” Steve explained gently.

“I can’t believe you, Steve,” Lennie bit out.  Why would he encourage Michael to take her to court??

“Lennie…love…stop. Just listen to me for a minute, yeah?” Steve asked her.  When Lennie started to speak again, Steve cut her off.

“Just stop!” His voice was louder, and Lennie blanched at his tone.  He’d never spoken to her like that in all the years she’d known him. “Can you listen to me for just a few minutes?”

“Yes,” Lennie begrudgingly replied.

“Good. Listen.  If you and Mike go to court, you know what’s going to happen. He’ll get some form of custody, and I know you don’t want that.” He sighed as he continued. “Have you told him about everything, Lennie?  You know what I’m talking about. Your mum, and your family?”

“No,” Lennie whispered sadly.  It would probably make sense to Michael, and help him understand her, but she’d never told him about her past. He’d never asked and she’d never divulged.

“You need to. He’s very upset, Lennie.  Wondering why you hate him so much, and-”

“I think that’s pretty self-explanatory, don’t you think?” she interrupted him sarcastically.

“Yeah, he cheated. So?  You were hardly in a relationship, were you?” When she didn’t answer, Steve continued. “That’s what I thought. You are using that as an excuse. Mike was drinking when it happened, and you can’t handle people who drink like that.”

“That’s not true,” Lennie denied weakly.

“It is true,” Steve objected. “He doesn’t drink like that anymore.  I think you are just too sensitive to it because of your mum.”

“Who wouldn’t be?” she asked him bitterly. She knew she was very sensitive about this subject.  She knew it, and she knew it helped her make decisions – whether good or bad.

“And that’s okay, love. That’s perfectly normal.  Mike doesn’t know that, though. If you would but tell him, he’d understand, Lennie.  He really would.” “

Why would I do that?” Lennie whispered.  She was terrified, and could feel it rising in her gut.  She wanted to leave, to grab Cooper and run far away, but she knew that wasn’t a possibility.

“Because I think you want it to work, too.  I know how much your family meant to you.  You’ve told me how sad you are for Cooper being without his daddy. Well, here’s your solution.”

“It’s not that simple,” she argued, but Steve argued back.

“It is that simple.  You make an effort, he makes an effort, and you work it out.  Or you don’t.  Either way, at least you know you’ve tried,” Steve said with finality. “Look, Lennie. You need to put yourself in his shoes. If I were a man and I found out that someone had kept my child from me for going on four years, I’d be pissed – and rightly so. The fact that he tried to work it out with you shows that he’s not such a prick after all.”

“What about my shoes, Steve?  Who’s going to walk in mine?” Lennie spoke softly, but her anger and hurt were unmistakable.

“I understand, love.  Michael would too, if you would just explain it to him,” Steve replied gently. “That would mean taking a chance, and to stop trying to fucking control everything the way you do.”

“I hate you, Steve,” Lennie said, but she had a ghost of a smile on her face.  Steve knew her so well.

“That’s funny you should say that.  Mike said the very same thing to me when I chewed his ass for threatening you with this legal bullshit.”

“You chewed him out?” Lennie was shocked.

“’Course I did! You both are so hardheaded, and it’s painful to watch.  Someone has to have some sense about them, and I suppose it has to be me for the moment,” Steve chuckled, and Lennie’s smile widened.

“So what should I do?’

“Call his lawyers.  Tell them you want to do mediation, and come up with a plan.  Be reasonable, Lennie.  Give the man some time with his son,” Steve instructed her. Lennie felt her stomach flutter with anxiety when she thought of being away from Cooper.  She closed her eyes and tried to calm her nerves. S he would have to deal with it, whatever it was. The alternative – going to court and having a judge decide - was not desirable in the least. She had too much to lose if she went that route.

“Lennie?” Steve’s voice broke through.

“Yes. Okay. I’ll call them in the morning.”

“Or call Mike, let him know,” Steve offered hopefully.  Lennie snorted in response.

“No.”

“Whatever.  Do what you will.  Just let me know what’s going to happen.”

“Okay, I’ll call when I figure something out,” Lennie replied. “Thank you, Steve.”

“You two are a fucking nightmare, you know that?” He laughed in exasperation.

“I’ll call you tomorrow, Steve,” Lennie retorted.  She hung up the phone and sat there staring at it in frustration. Tomorrow she would have to make a decision, one way or the other.


	14. Chapter 14

She sat across from Michael and his lawyers, her eyes downcast as she stared at the papers before her. They had already determined that Michael was the father by a paternity test.  Lennie had reluctantly agreed to put Michael’s name on the birth certificate, and that she would change his name in the school systems and such.  Michael had agreed on a set amount of child support, much to Lennie’s chagrin. She didn’t want or need his money, but Michael had left no room for argument. If she didn’t use it, it would go in a trust fund.  She agreed.  All that was left was visitation. They had both agreed that Lennie would remain the custodial parent, but that they would have joint custody. They would share equally in the decision-making for Cooper, but he would reside primarily with Lennie, meaning that he could maintain his residence and stay in his preschool. Michael didn’t want to uproot him, and Lennie was grateful to him for that.

“So,” his lawyer began, “all that’s really left is working out a custody schedule. My client understands that his son doesn’t know him, so he doesn’t want to force long visitations on him at the present time. What would be agreeable to you, Ms. LeBlanc?”

Lennie looked up, briefly meeting Michael’s eyes for only the second time that day. She had done her best to avoid him thus far.  He gave her a half-smile, but it was humorless. He knew how hard this was for her, and he didn’t want to be an ass.  Again, she was grateful to him for being so cognizant of her feelings.

“I…I’m not sure how this works? I mean, he works out of the country a lot, so what do we do?” Lennie asked the lawyers.

“I’d buy a house nearby, Lennie.  That way Cooper is never too far when we have visitation,” Michael replied softly, drawing her gaze back to him.  Lennie felt the tears pricking at her eyes. She could not believe how generous he was being.  She knew she deserved much less.

“So what if we were to gradually increase visitation over the course of the next few months? My client has indicated he can take some time off to get things handled here,” Michael’s lawyer stated diplomatically.

“Okay,” Lennie said.  The next hour passed in a blur, with decisions being made and signatures being acquired. She and Michael had agreed on a loose visitation schedule, with Michael getting Cooper so much every month.  He would purchase a house nearby in the next few weeks or months so that he could begin seeing Cooper more often. When it was all finished, Lennie had agreed to let Michael take Cooper for the weekend – on the condition that Steve would be there.  Michael had some work to do in New York, but would have a significant amount of time off. Steve would also be in New York at his loft he maintained there. It was close to Central Park, and it would be ideal for Cooper.   Steve was Cooper's godfather, so at least Cooper wouldn't feel completely abandoned.  Although Lennie’s heart was breaking at the thought of being without Cooper for the long weekend, she knew it was the right thing to do. She had to start somewhere.

After it was all over and all had been decided, she spoke briefly with her lawyer. She would be receiving the final paperwork in a few days. Not bothering to look for Michael, she quickly walked out of the building and around the corner. She felt like she was going to break down, and she needed a minute.  She sat down on a bench that was secluded by some small bushes and cried silently in her hands, only the occasional sniffle interrupting the chirping of the birds. Michael found her just like that.  He sat down next to her on the bench but didn’t speak.

“I’m sorry, Lennie,” he offered quietly.  She stiffened upon realizing he was there.

“There’s nothing to be sorry about.  It had to happen eventually,” she sniffled as she wiped her fingers under her eyes to remove her tears.

“I’m not going to be an asshole, Lennie. I would never want to take him away from you.”

“I know,” Lennie whispered truthfully. “It’s just hard.  I’ve never been away from him, and never overnight.” She sniffled again as her throat constricted.

“Then come to New York with him, love. We can hang out together. It’ll be less awkward that way,” Michael turned to her. Lennie looked up at him in shock.

“Really?”

He smiled and nodded at her.

“Yeah, really. I’ll pay for everything, all you have to do is show up.”  He grinned at her hopefully.  Lennie narrowed her eyes at him.

“Why are you doing this?” Lennie asked him suspiciously, causing Michael to laugh softly.

“Because I’m a good guy?” He waggled his brows at her. Lennie shook her head and rolled her eyes.

“Pfft!” Lennie snorted, but then turned back to him. “Really, Michael. Why?” She asked him earnestly. 

He stared at her for a moment, his blue eyes sparkling with something she couldn’t quite put her finger on. Then he reached out and tapped the tip of his finger on the end of her nose playfully, causing Lennie to flinch and pull back from him.  Michael was grinning when he stood and offered her his hand.  She did not take his hand as she stood, and he shoved it in his pocket.

“So I’ll call you with the details for this weekend?”  Michael asked, ignoring her previous question. 

“Yes,” Lennie nodded in agreement. “It’s Cooper’s first time flying, so I don’t mind something really late.  Maybe he’ll sleep then.” Michael nodded.

“I’ll let my assistant know when she books your flights.” He tapped his finger on his lip thoughtfully before asking his next question.

“One more thing, Lennie….. are you staying at my place? I assume Cooper would be, and you are more than welcome. I’ve got room.” He held his hands out in a show of innocence as she had narrowed her eyes on him. “No funny business, Lennie. I promise.”

While she didn’t want to be away from Cooper, she also didn’t trust herself to stay the night with Michael. It was too soon, there were too many unresolved issues – she just couldn’t do it. Knowing being away from Cooper was going to kill her, and knowing how hard it was going to be to be alone, she still couldn't do it.  She shook her head regretfully.

"No.  I....uh....I'll get a hotel or something."

"Are you sure?" Michael asked her.  "It really is no big deal, and I've got more than enough room."

"No, Michael.  I can't," she replied softly. "Please understand." 

There it was - the tension reappeared as the unresolved hurt from before reared it's ugly head.  Despite the progress they'd made, they were still very, very far apart.  Michael nodded in understanding.

"I'm not gonna push you, Lennie."  He moved closer to her, so close that she had to tilt her head back to look up at him.  She focused on the scruff along is chin, unwilling  - or unable - to meet his eyes.

Her heart starting drumming in her chest and her breath hitched at his close proximity. She could smell his cologne, could feel the heat emanating off his body.   She held her breath when he tilted her chin up just a bit more with his thumb and forefinger on her jaw.  He stared down at her from heavy-lidded blue eyes, and then leaned down and softly kissed her on the cheek. Lennie closed her eyes at his touch and she just barely restrained herself from turning her head to find his lips with hers.  Michael pulled back but continued holding her jaw with his fingers.  

"I'm not going to give up on us either, love."  He kissed her on her forehead, released her, and walked away, back around the corner and out of her sight. 

Lennie was left standing there in a stunned silence.  She lightly rested her hand on her cheek,  trying to keep the feeling of his lips there as long as possible.  In a few days, she would be on a plane with Cooper, heading to New York. To visit Michael, who'd just said he wasn't going to give up on them. What had she gotten herself into? 


	15. Chapter 15

Lennie and Cooper arrived in New York nearing 11pm on Thursday evening.  They would stay from Friday until late Sunday, and Cooper was beyond excited to be flying.  So much for sleeping on the flight, Lennie thought ruefully.  Cooper hadn’t been a bad child on the plane, and they did have the luxury of flying first class with a less than half-full plane, but she was exhausted.  All she wanted to do was crawl into bed.  Wherever she could find a bed, because at this point she didn’t care – she was that exhausted.  As they’d agreed upon earlier, Michael wasn’t there to pick them up, and Lennie was actually grateful.  She didn’t want Cooper to be even more excited than he already was; he would never go to sleep if he saw Michael at this late hour.  The driver held up a sign with their last name, and she and Cooper loaded their bags and were on their way to Michael’s apartment.  Lennie would see Cooper off at Michael’s, and then she would head to her own hotel. Michael had arranged that as well. Again, she was grateful, and even now didn’t know what to think about the way Michael was handling things.

When the car finally stopped a little while later, Lennie awoke in confusion.  She hadn’t even realized she’d fallen asleep, and Cooper was now laying across her lap.  She looked out the window, and her brows drew together.  Why were they at the Ritz?  She thought they were going to an apartment somewhere.  Unless Michael lived here? She had no idea what was going on.

“Ms.?” the driver turned to her. “Ms. LeBlanc?”

“Yes?” Lennie turned back to the driver.

“I’ve got your information here from Mr. Fassbender.  He said for you both to just come up.  Avoid the media that way.” The driver smiled gently as he handed her a small packet of papers.

She took the papers, and slid out of the car.  She hoisted a still-sleeping Cooper up on her hip and grabbed her purse and his tablet. The valet would grab everything else and have it brought upstairs.  She didn’t argue about her luggage; she’d just have to bring it back down when she left for her hotel room.  She was ushered into the elevator and a few minutes later arrived at the 3rd floor. 

The Central Park Suite. 

She was just about to knock when Michael opened the door, a huge grin on his face.  He looked like he had just come from work; he was still dressed in jeans and a black,  button down shirt that was opened at the neck, and his feet were bare.  He quickly took Cooper from Lennie and carried him inside.  Michael laid Cooper down on the couch in the main living area, and turned back to pay the valet and help get Lennie’s luggage.  She followed him and sat down next to Cooper on the couch, gently pushing the hair off his forehead.  Michael returned from dealing with the valet and sat down on the couch opposite Lennie.

“Thanks for coming, Lennie,” Michael whispered, his eyes darting to Cooper who was still asleep.

“I should probably go,” she whispered back reluctantly. Her heart was breaking.

“Lennie…look…I know you said no, but I went ahead and booked this suite for all of us. It has an adjoining room with a separate entrance and everything.  Just like a normal room,” he explained gently. Lennie dubiously stared at him.

He stood up and motioned for her to follow. She reluctantly did, and walked behind him across the spacious living area.  He walked through another hallway, and Lennie was stunned at how big this place was.  He stopped before a door and opened it, which led to another door.  He opened that door and it revealed a separate room.  He stepped in and motioned for her to follow.  It was a fully furnished room, and Lennie could see by the door on the far wall that it could also be a stand-alone room, separate from the main suite. She turned back to look at Michael.

“I don’t know,” she began, but Michael held his hand up in disagreement.

“Look. I’m not going to lie…staying alone with Cooper is freaking me out,” he admitted carefully.  Lennie frowned at him, and he shook his head vehemently. “Not in a bad way. Just that what if he wakes up and starts crying? Or he hates me? Or he wants you?”

“Michael,” Lennie tried again, but he wasn’t finished.

“So I think this makes more sense, you know?  We can sort of ease him into it, rather than forcing him to stay here with me.” Michael looked at her with sincerity. “Please believe me. I have no ulterior motive. I just don’t want to make this harder on us,” he finished. 

Lennie stared at him, wanting to believe him, but still not entirely sure of how well she could trust him.  She looked back around the room.  When her eyes landed on the bed, her body suddenly began screaming in exhaustion.  She was bone-tired, and that bed was _right there_.  She sucked in a deep breath and turned back to Michael.

“Okay. I’ll stay here,” she held up a finger at him, “but only for Cooper’s sake.  Nothing more, Michael.”

He nodded. “Nothing more.”

“Should I bring Cooper over here then?  Rather than let him wake up on the couch, we’ll just meet up tomorrow?” Lennie asked.  She knew it was technically Michael’s time with Cooper, and technically he could say no, but she was hoping beyond hope that he’d consent to her keeping Cooper overnight.  She’d never be able to sleep here knowing he was just a door away and she couldn’t touch him.

“Sure. That works for me,” Michael nodded in agreement. “I’ll go get him if you want to turn the bed down?”

“Okay,” Lennie replied. She headed to the bed while Michael headed back into his room to collect his son.  He came back a few moments later, and the sight of Cooper cradled safely in his arms sent Lennie’s heart skipping.  Michael kissed Cooper’s forehead gently as he laid him down on the bed.  He carefully removed Cooper’s shoes and set them on the floor before tucking him in. Lennie watched him from under her lashes,  her heart warming at how natural Michael was as a father.  When he bent over, her thoughts went from motherly to something entirely different.  His shirt had ridden up in the back as he finished with Cooper, and she caught a glimpse of not only the edge of his boxers but his back.  Her cheeks heated, and she looked away as Michael stood, not wanting him to catch her staring at him.  She quickly walked back out into the main living area and stood by the door that joined their rooms, and waited til Michael joined her.

"So," Lennie said quietly.  "We'll hook up tomorrow?" She grimaced at her choice of words, her nose wrinkling even harder at Michael's soft chuckle.  Bastard.

"We'll meet up tomorrow, yes," he agreed with a grin.  "Thanks for coming Lennie," he finished.  His humor had disappeared, and in it's place was something else, something that made Lennie uncomfortable.  She found it hard to meet his eyes..

"Okay just text me. Or knock. Or whatever," she finished hastily.  The more time she spent in his presence, the more she felt her body reacting to him.  Especially in soft, intimate moments like this; he was damn near irresistible, and some crazy part of her brain was telling her to follow him back to his room.  She mentally shook that part off, knowing full-well she needed to not have those thoughts about Michael.  Those days were over.

Michael stepped closer, causing Lennie to take a step back and hold a finger up in warning.

"Don't."

He shoved his hands in his pockets and stared at her inquisitively, causing Lennie to frown at him.

"What?" she queried.

"You intrigue me, Lennie," he stated easily.  Lennie felt the wind rush out of her lungs at his words.  How the fuck did he do that?

'Wh...what?" she asked again, her voice significantly higher in pitch this time.

"More than before, and I don't know how you do it, luv, but you do.  You're like this damn puzzle that I can't figure out," he finished with a bemused half-smile. 

"Is that good or bad?" she asked, and immediately regretted the words as they flew out of her mouth.  She was supposed to be maintaining her distance - not bridging the gap between them. Damn it!!  Michael took a step closer and this time Lennie had no where else to back up to except the table near the door.  She felt the edge of the table against her ass as she bumped into it, and she tilted her chin up in a show of control.  He stepped closer just a tad more, standing mere inches from her.  Was she breathing? She had no idea.   She couldn't feel her body, and the only thing that was registering in her brain was his chin and the ginger scruff that peppered it.  And the way that his heart beat was visible in the vein at the bend of his neck.  And the tiny bit of chest hair that was peeking out from where his shirt was unbottoned.   No, he didn't affect her at all.

"We'll see."  His voice had grown husky, and Lennie gripped the edge of the table with all her might.  Otherwise she may have reached out and grabbed him.

"Okay," she whispered breathlessly.  Michael sniggered.

"Okay," he repeated.  He reached up and pushed a strand of hair off her forehead and tucked it back behind her ear.  Lennie shivered at his touch, the feeling of his fingertips just barely grazing her ear lobe nearly doing her in.  God! What was wrong with her??

"Goodnight, Lennie," he said softly.  Lennie watched in slow motion as he leaned forward and grasped her chin between his thumb and forefinger, and she closed her eyes in anticipation of him kissing her.  When she felt his lips on her forehead instead, she very nearly sagged with a mixture of relief and quite possibly annoyance.  What the hell? He released her and Lennie opened her eyes to see him walking through the door and back into his room.  He grinned at her once more, and closed the door to his room, leaving Lennie standing there in a stunned silence. She closed her door and leaned up against it, her head dropping back with a resounding thud.  She took a few deep breaths to calm herself, and then pushed off the door and headed to bed.  The next few days would interesting to say the least. 

 

 


	16. Chapter 16

Lennie awoke the next morning to an empty bed.  Panicked at not finding her son in bed with her, she quickly got up and searched the room.  He wasn’t here. She frantically pulled her sweatshirt over her head and marched over to the door that joined her room with Michael’s and snatched it open.  She nearly ran through Michael’s huge room, following the hallway around until she was back at the living area.  It was there that she found them. She let out a sigh of relief and sagged against the far wall as her heartbeat slowly returned to normal.

Cooper was standing on the arm of the couch, pillow in hand and ready to attack.  Michael was lying on the floor, half-concealed by a makeshift fortress comprised of the remaining pillows. Steve sat nearby on a separate couch, a huge smile on his face as he watched his godson and friend.  Although she tried to remain hidden, Michael saw her out the corner of his eye and sat up, giving her a sheepish smile.  Steve followed his eyes to her, and a grin lit up his face.

“Morning, Lennie,” Steve called cheerfully as he stood. He walked over to her and pulled her in for a tight hug. She was still shaking and he looked down at her with concern. “You alright, love?”  
Seeing his mother, Cooper dropped his pillow and scrambled off the couch and crashed into her legs, his tiny arms wrapped tight around her.

“Mama! We’re fighting with pillows, and I’m winning!” he crowed cheerfully.  Michael had gotten up as well, but after picking up a few pillows, he sat down on the edge of the couch and watched from afar.  Lennie tried to avoid looking at him, and she hoped he didn’t look at her.  She must look crazy right now – hair a mess, clothes wrinkled, and frantic over her son.  She self-consciously tried to smooth her hair down and pulled her hood up over her head to hide her wild hair.

“Lennie?” Steve asked again. Lennie forced a smile as she shook her head and tousled Cooper’s hair.

“I’m fine,” she waved her hand dismissively.

“Michael said I can jump on the couch,” Cooper stated matter-of-factly. He ran back over to Michael and crawled up on the couch behind him and wrapped his little arms around Michael’s neck.  He giggled as Michael leaned back into the couch, squishing him against the cushions.

“Hey now you little snitch! That’s supposed to be our secret,” Michael spoke conspiratorially to Cooper out of the side of his mouth. He stood, wrapping his arms around Cooper’s legs to ensure he was secure, and walked over to Lennie.  She watched warily as he approached.

“Morning, Lennie.  Did you sleep well?” he asked her gently.   She averted her eyes, still unable to meet his.  Cooper was still dangling from his back, and giggled as Michael tickled the boy behind his knees.  He released his grip on Michael’s neck and slid down, dropping to the floor.  Without a word, he went back over to the couch and grabbed his tablet and lay down in front of the television.  Lennie watched her son for a moment before acknowledging Michael.  It was all just too awkward right now. Last night's chaste kiss, and the kisses since the funeral, were all running through her mind, and she could feel a difference between them.  Could Steve sense it too?  God.  She did her best to act normal.

“Yes. Thank you,” she stiffly replied.  She looked up at Steve – her saving grace in all this uncomfortableness. “What’s on the agenda today?”

Steve looked between her and Michael, and sighed in exasperation, but made no mention of his thoughts.

“I thought we might go to the P-A-R-K?” Lennie knew why he spelled it out, and she glanced at her son again. “You and I and Coop maybe? Not sure you want Mike to tag along just yet due to the media shit storm that’ll follow?” Steve asked her.  Lennie looked up and finally met Michael’s eyes, but just briefly before looking away again. 

“Whatever he wants to do,” she said quietly. It was really his decision after all…

“No. It’ fine, Lennie. We’ll go slowly, right?” Michael offered gently,  drawing her eyes involuntarily up to his again.  He was staring at her with that look on his face, that gentle smile that made her want to rush into his arms, to wrap her arms around his waist and bury her nose against his chest.  She swallowed hard and looked away, breaking eye contact.  Michael walked away wordlessly, much to her relief.

“Okay. I just need to go get dressed,” she whispered to the ground.  This was harder than she thought - this being around him.  Her nerves were frazzled and she needed to get out of this room. She looked back at Cooper, but Steve gently touched her arm knowingly, drawing her eyes back up to his.

“He’s fine, Lennie. Mike’s got it all under control.” He smiled down at her and pulled her in for a side-hug. He kissed her on her temple. “Just take it slow, sweetheart. I know it’s hard, but it’s hard on Mike too.  Just give it time, love.”

“Do I have time for a shower?”

“Of course! Take your time, Lennie.  Us boys are having fun over here,” Steve teased.  Lennie looked once more over at her son and his father on the couch. Cooper was showing Michael something on his tablet, and Michael was giving it his complete attention, his brow furrowed in concentration.  A ghost of a smile formed on her lips as she watched the two of them together. Steve noticed and hugged her a bit tighter to his side. “He’s really good with him, Lennie.”

Lennie nodded in reluctant agreement. “He is.”  For whatever reason, she was still digging her heels in.

“Give him a chance, Lennie,” Steve advised, and Lennie knew he wasn’t talking about Cooper. She took in a shaky breath and exhaled it slowly.

“I’m scared, Steve,” she admitted out loud as she swallowed down the lump that had formed in her throat.  It was like the perfect family she'd always envisioned, the one that had played out in her mind so many times after she found out she was pregnant.  She'd had visions of this exact same thing, but it had never come to fruition.  Even now it was hard to believe,  and she continually felt like she needed to pinch herself and wake up from a dream. 

“So’s he, sweetheart,” Steve countered gently. “You’ve both made a lot of stupid decisions, but there’s no time like the present to fix it.”

“Easier said than done,” Lennie bit out.  Enough of this talk today.  She shrugged Steve’s arm off. “I’m going to shower and get dressed. You guys decide what you want to do.”

“You are a stubborn little arse, you know that?” Steve grumbled at Lennie’s retreating back. “The both of you!” he called a bit louder.   She just waved him off and continued on her way.


	17. Chapter 17

Later that evening, an exhausted Lennie collapsed on the couch. Cooper was still going strong, and she had no idea how. She looked over at Steve, who was just as exhausted and who had just plopped down next to her.  Michael had been working most of the day, so she and Steve and Cooper had spent the majority of early morning at the park.  From there, they’d gone down to look at Coney Island, and spent the remainder of the day there.  She had hoped that Cooper would be wiped out, but he was still going. She lolled her head over at Steve pathetically.

“Do you mind if I go shower?” she asked him hopefully. “You can say no if you want,” she added, but Steve waved her off.

“Nonsense,” he disagreed. “Go take a bath, relax a bit, Lennie.  I’ll take care of Cooper.”

“You sure?” Lennie asked as she leaned up. “Really. I know you’re tired, so-”

“Go, Lennie,” Steve ordered her as he pointed his finger at the bathroom door. “We’ll be fine.”

“Okay. I’ll only be a few minutes, I promise,” she rushed out as she grabbed her things and headed to the bathroom.  She closed the door behind her and looked longingly at the tub. Steve had suggested a bath, and it would be a damn shame to let it go to waste.  _There were candles all around the tub, for crying out loud!_ She flicked on the vent to keep the steam minimal, and sat on the edge of the tub, turned on the water full blast, and tossed in some of the bubble bath that was sitting on the edge of the tub for good measure.  She was almost giddy as she peeled her clothes off and slid in the tub, the hot water immediately relaxing her.  How long had it been since she’d been able to just sit in a tub??

* * *

 

When she finally crawled out of the tub over and hour later – _yes, she was wrinkled from sitting too long_ – she immediately felt guilty for leaving Steve with Cooper for so long.  She hastily got dressed and threw her hair up in a messy bun on top of her head.  As she walked through her room, she shrugged her hoodie on.  Cooper and Steve weren’t in her room, so she assumed that they were in Michael’s.  She walked to the door that adjoined the rooms and opened it and headed into Michael’s suite.  As she came around the corner into the living area, she was halted in her tracks.

Michael was doing pushups.

He was doing pushups, and he was shirtless, and he was sweaty, and he was breathing hard.  Oh god he was breathing hard.  She flattened herself against the wall as she watched him, unable to tear her eyes away from him.  He had his headphones in, and obviously had no idea she was there.  Feeling like a bit of a pervert, she decided she needed to go, and started backing up slowly, but she still couldn’t stop watching him.  Had he always been that muscular, always that sinewy with veins popping out everywhere? Fuck!!

Just when she thought she was going to escape, she backed into the table by the wall and knocked a vase of flowers off.  Right on to the fucking floor, it shattered into a million little pieces, and yes, it was loud as hell.  She looked back up and saw Michael had stood and was staring at her. He plucked one ear bud from his ear.

“You alright?” he asked her as he walked towards her.  She felt her face flame as she watched the easy way his sweats clung to his waist, the fabric precariously perched on his narrow hips.  Oh god. He was standing before her, sweaty and hot, and he still smelled good.  How was that possible?

“Lennie?” he asked again as he rubbed his forearm across his face to remove sweat.  It was beading on his upper lip and forehead, and she would swear she saw some droplets trickle down between his pectoral muscles.  It was like the tiny little beads were following his happy trail right down to-

“Lennie? You alright?”

She jerked her head up at his voice and met his eyes. Her face flushed again, and she felt her cheeks flame anew.

“Coo…Cooper?” she stammered in embarrassment.  Michael looked at her quizzically, and then looked over her head towards the direction of her room.

“I thought he was with you?” Michael’s brows drew together in confusion as he looked back down at her.

“What?” Lennie asked, much more coherent now. “Is Steve here?” She marched past Michael and looked around, searching for Steve and Cooper. Their shoes were gone.  She looked back and Michael was holding his phone up with smile.

“Steve took him out to get ice cream.  I must have missed the text.”

Lennie marched past him and hurried to her room and grabbed her phone.  Sure enough, there was a text from Steve indicating that he had in fact taken Cooper for ice cream.  _Have fun_ , the second text read.  Lennie narrowed her eyes, knowing full well what Steve was playing at.  She turned around, only to slam in to Michael’s still very hot, still very sweaty, chest. Her hands were squished between his chest and hers, and he stared down at her impassively as she focused on a freckle right in the middle of his chest. 

“He’s with Steve, yeah?” Michael whispered huskily.  Lennie nodded, unable to form a coherent word.  Michael reached up and pulled Lennie’s cell phone out of her trembling fingers and tossed it on the bed without a word.  He grasped Lennie’s hand and brought it to his lips and kissed it softly, and she watched with wide eyes as he turned her hand over and kissed it directly in the center of her palm. 

Oh god. Oh god.Oh god!

She was barely breathing when Michael rubbed his lips against the center of her hand, his lips just barely grazing the skin there.  When his lips returned to her fingertips, she nibbled on her lower lip in anticipation.   Michael kissed each tip of each finger, and Lennie felt herself leaning up towards him, her head moving to follow each time he kissed some part of her hand.  When he brought her hand down and placed her palm flat against his chest, she could feel his heat beating erratically.  She looked up at him in surprise.

"You see what you do to me, Lennie?" he murmured.  His voice was so deep, so low, and she would swear she could feel it touching her body. He was touching her without physical contact,  his words intimate as the wetness pooled between her legs at just the barest of touches. 

"You were working out," she breathed out. 

Michael shook his head and without another word leaned down and kissed her.  Lennie's palm was still braced against his chest, but instead of pushing him back, she felt her fingers dig into his chest in an effort to bring him closer.  Michael pulled her hands from between them and pushed them down to his sides.  Lennie grabbed at the sides of his stomach, and she twisted her fingers into the edges of his sweat pants.  It was her last grip on reality.  Michael cupped her cheeks and pushed her back against the bed,  forcing her to fall back.  He gently lowered himself on top of her and maneuvered himself between her legs.  Lennie was clutching at him with her thighs, her fingers digging into his back as she tried to pull him closer.  Michael lowered his head and kissed along her collar, pulling her shirt down as he did so, and Lennie heard herself moan as she pulled at Michael's hair to drag him back up to her.  He obliged, and his lips claimed her once again.  Their kiss was hard, and hot, and fervent, none of the earlier sweetness that Michael had bestowed upon her.  This time they were like two people that had been lost in the desert, their bodies parched from thirst and need and want.  Their teeth were clicking together in their haste, and Lennie could feel her lips swelling from where Michael's beard was chafing her.  She reached down and clutched at his ass and pulled him to her core, causing him to groan against her mouth. 

"I want to make love to you, Lennie," he moaned against her jaw as he worked his way back up and to her lips.  Lennie felt just the tiniest bit of reality return at his words.  She pushed at him half-heartedly.

"We can't," she whispered.  Michael leaned up on his forearms and stared down at her.

"What?"

Lennie pushed at him a little more forcefully.  He lifted one arm and she slid out from under him and scooted across the bed. 

"We can't, Michael.  Copper will be back any minute," she stated.  She wrapped her arms around her drawn up legs, and rested her chin on her kneecaps.

"You're serious?" Michael asked again.  He was clearly confused by what was going on.  Lennie nodded again.

"Yes.  I think you need to go."  She spoke quietly, her voice small in the quiet of the room.  Michael rolled off the bed and stood.

"You are fighting so damn hard, Lennie," he muttered angrily.  Lennie looked up at him sharply. 

"Why wouldn't I?" she challenged him.  Michael arched an aggravated eyebrow.

"I know you want me just as much as I want you, Lennie," he walked around the bed towards her, but Lennie held up a hand to halt him.

"Stop, please." She could see the way her hand was trembling as she held it out in front of her to stop him.  What a fucking joke!  Michael pushed past her hand and leaned over her, forcing her against the headboard.  He braced one muscular arm against the spot next to her ear, and his voice was thick when he spoke. She closed her eyes to try to maintain some measure of control, but it was no use.  When his voice resonated just next to her ear, she nearly burst into flames.  It was taking everything in her to not wrap her arms around him and beg him to make love to her!

"You keep fighting it all you want, Lennie," he murmured against her earlobe.  He nipped the edge of it lightly, and Lennie couldn't help but turn her head to give him better access. Her breathing sounded so loud to her,  and her heart thrummed against her chest as his breath washed over the skin at her neck.

"Keep fighting, little one.  You'll see soon that you still want me as much as I want you." He kissed her again on her neck, and his breath caused her skin to prickle with goosebumps.  He pulled back and grasped her chin with his thumb and forefinger.  His eyes watched hers as his thumb lightly traced the fullness of her lower lip.  He leaned down and pressed his lips to hers one more time and then pulled back, leaving Lennie feeling bereft.

"I want you to come to me willingly, Lennie.  I'll not force you, and I won't do this under some heat of the moment bullshit," Michael stared at her intently.  His blue eyes were stormy, and his mouth was set in a hard line.  "I want you to come to me because you want to."

"I won't," she argued in a show of defiance, but she nearly snorted out loud at her self.  She knew deep down that a  part of her wanted nothing more than Michael at this very moment.

"You will," he nodded confidently. "You most certainly will," he repeated softly.  Lennie didn't have any words to counter that, so she remained silent.

"Let me know when Cooper gets in, yeah?" Michael tossed over his shoulder as he turned to the door leading to his room.  He kept walking, not waiting for a response, and closed the door behind him.  Lennie let out the breath she was holding and collapsed on the bed, and her body shook with a mixture of need, and sadness, and a myriad of other emotions she could not yet name.  It was all too much.  It was just too fucking much.

 

 

 


	18. Chapter 18

It was nearing midnight when Steve finally texted Lennie to let her know they were on their way.   He knocked gently on her door, and she opened it with relief.  Cooper was draped over his shoulder, fast asleep, and she was even more grateful for that.  Steve walked through to her room and laid him down gently on her bed and tucked him in.  He motioned for Lennie to follow him back out of the bedroom.

“So what the hell, Lennie?” Steve asked when they were out of the room.  He sat down on her couch and kicked his shoes off, sighing in relief as he wiggled his toes. Lennie curled up on the couch next to him and tried to ignore _that tone._

“What?” she asked coolly. Steve cut his eyes at her and gave her _that look._

“I gave you a perfect opportunity to try to fix things with Michael, but I get back and you are both still in your proverbial corners,” he exaggeratedly explained with his hands. The more aggravated he got, the more he would fling his hands about.

“Steve,” Lennie held her hand up to halt him and looked away. “I’m not doing this right now.”

“Why?” he turned to her. “What are you so bloody afraid of? The man you want is the very same man that wants you, and he’s right through that door!” He pointed at said door emphatically.

“I’m not doing this right now,” Lennie repeated as she stood up, ignoring his question altogether and began walking to her room.  Steve stood and grabbed her arm by the elbow, halting her in her tracks.  She looked away in annoyance as he held her arm. 

“Lennie. I love you more than life itself, you know that right?  Like a sister to me, you are.  Mike the same. But you’re all bloody mad! Do you understand me?”

Lennie stared at the ground like a petulant child, trying to ignore Steve’s words. He released her arm but continued to speak.

“Do you understand that if you keep doing what you’re doing, Mike will eventually find someone else? And you'll find someone else? And then you’ll be even more pissed and calling me in the wee hours of the morning like you’ve done in the past, crying into your beer?”

“Oh whatever, Steve!” Lennie rolled her eyes sarcastically.  She was fairly certain that she'd never cried into her beer over Michael.  A bottle of wine, maybe, or some whiskey, but not beer....

“It’s true! Tell me you’ve not called me late at night or early morning to whine about him? Even though you’ve not specifically mentioned his name, do you think I am so stupid as to not realize who you’re talking about?”

Lennie shook her head in denial, but she knew it was true.  Damn him.  She knew he was telling the truth.

“Look, Lennie. I know it’s hard. I know you want to run away as you’ve always done, but you’ve got to stop.”  He pointed to the door again. “Mike is over there. He’s awake. I know he is.”

“And?” Lennie huffed, but inside her heart started fluttering at his implications.

“And that means get your ass over there.  To talk.  To do whatever. I don’t give a bloody fuck, but do something!” He threw his hands up in aggravation and plopped back down on the couch. Lennie dropped down beside him again and nervously worried her lip between her teeth.

“Lennie, luv, be reasonable. You have tonight, and then Mike will be working like crazy. I know this for a fact.  You may not get this opportunity for a few months,” he urged her gently. “Just go talk to him, Lennie.  Help him understand.”

“Just walk over there?” she asked in a high-pitched voice.  Steve nodded.

“Yes. If nothing else, do it for Cooper,” he added, and Lennie felt it like he had literally socked her in the gut. She would do anything for Cooper. “Do you really want him going through life, split up between two houses, when there could have been a chance for his parents to work things out?”

Lennie glared at him. Cut-throat bastard. 

“You’re a bastard, Steve,” Lennie mumbled under her breath.

Steve laughed.  “That’s what I'm here for. You two are a bunch of blockheads and a pain in my arse,” he chuckled as he leaned back against the couch. Lennie walked back into her bathroom and straightened up as best as she could, as fast as she could.  She stared at her reflection in the mirror, willing herself to give it a go.  Just one more chance.  She had to try.  She walked back out and across the room towards the door. 

"Don't get pregnant again!" Steve teased as she walked past him.

Lennie flipped him off as she walked through the door and into Michael's suite.

Bastard.

* * *

 

“Michael?” Lennie called out in the dark. Why was his room so dark?  What the fuck was she doing? This was a foolish plan, she thought to herself.  She was seriously doubting the idea of going to him, of having a conversation, and was even contemplating leaving when she found him.   He was standing outside on the balcony,  smoking a cigarette as he leaned over the railing.  She frowned, remembering Steve said he was quitting. 

Apparently not. 

From where she stood, he looked forlorn; his shoulders looked as if they were carrying the weight of the world.  She felt the same way.  Taking a deep breath, she walked over to the balcony doors and stepped outside, garnering Michael’s attention.  He was momentarily surprised, but turned back to the street below without a word.  They stood there for a few moments, neither speaking. Michael took one last long drag on his cigarette, but then ground it out about half-way through.  He gave Lennie a sideways grin. 

“I’m trying to quit. Hard as fuck, though,” he admitted sheepishly.

“At least you’re trying,” Lennie said softly.

“Yeah, I’m trying.  I don’t want to smoke around Cooper.”

“Good idea,”  she agreed.  Idle chit chat could go on forever though, and she knew she needed to say what was on her mind. 

“Look, Michael, Steve said I should come talk to you,” Lennie began nervously.

“Is that the only reason you came then?  Because Steve said you should?” Michael asked her pointedly.  Lennie shook her head.

“No.”

“Then why?” He crossed his arms across his chest and turned to her.  Lennie continued looking out over the city, watching as the lights twinkled in the city that never sleeps.

“Because you’re right,” she spoke quietly. She looked down at her hands as they gripped the railing tightly. 

“Right about what, Lennie?”

“That I still have feelings for you,” she admitted reluctantly.  There.  She'd said it out loud. 

Without a word,  Michael walked over to her and wrapped his arms around her, and Lennie sagged against him in relief. He rested his chin on top of her head, grabbed her arms and wrapped them around his waist. She clutched at his back as she pressed her cheek against his hard chest, and she inhaled deeply; she felt like she was home.  It just felt right. Even though she and Michael’s relationship was short-lived from the beginning, this felt right.  It felt like where she needed to be, where she was supposed to be. His warmth was comforting, and for the first time in many years she felt like she could relax, that she had someone to lean on.  Raising Cooper alone had been hard, and many times she wanted to reach out for help, but her hurt, and anger, and pride kept the phone call at bay. Now, she felt a tiny glimmer of hope.

“Wanna go inside?” Michael mumbled against her hair as he rubbed his hands up and down her arms. The wind was blowing, and it was still quite chilly. Lennie released Michael and allowed him to take her hand. He led them inside and closed the door behind them, and immediately pulled her back into his arms. Just as before, Lennie wrapped her arms around him and snuggled in.  It was like neither one of them wanted to let the other go, not even for a moment.  After a bit, Michael slowly led her to the couch and pulled her down on top of him, situating her so that she was cradled in his arms.  He lightly rubbed his fingers against the top of her thigh, and Lennie fiddled with the fabric on his shirt.  Neither spoke for a good long while, but Michael finally broke the silence.

"You know, I've always regretted what happened, Lennie," he confessed against her hair.  Lennie closed her eyes against the pain of the memories that were flooding back.  She didn't want to think about it.  All she wanted to do was get up and get away from him, and forget about it.  Michael felt her stiffen against him and he wrapped his arms around her even tighter. 

"I've always regretted it, and I've always wanted to make it right, luv," he continued in a pained voice.

"Please don't, Michael," she whispered against his chest.  She clenched her eyes shut tightly as she tried to force the images back to where they'd been stored for so long.

"We need to talk about it, Lennie," Michael argued gently. "We can't go on if we don't."

Lennie struggled against him and sat up, her every intention being to crawl off his lap and leave.  Michael wouldn't let her go, though.  

"Don't, luv," he whispered against her temple as he held her close. "Please don't run away again."

"I can't do this, Michael," she sniffled against him.  "I can't think about you, and me, and...he..her.." Her voice broke on that last word, and Michael pulled her so that she was facing him.  He gently cupped her cheeks, and he wiped away errant tears with his thumbs.  Lennie shrugged hopelessly. 

"I don't want to think about it. Please," she whispered brokenly.

"Then don't think, Lennie," he murmured as he pulled her in closer.  He nuzzled her nose with his, and his lips just barely grazed the outside corner of her mouth. "Don't think...just feel." 

Lennie turned her head, seeking his mouth and not caring about the consequences.  Michael groaned as she leaned into him and he turned her so that he could lift her leg and bring it to his side, forcing her to straddle him.  Lennie whimpered into his mouth as he pulled her closer to him, her core making contact with his already straining erection.   She wrapped her arms around his neck tightly, and held on as he lifted her and carried her back to his bedroom.  He laid her down on the bed and crawled over her, settling between her legs. 

"Tell me you want me, Lennie," Michael murmured as he nipped at her lips.  Lennie squirmed underneath him, squeezing and releasing his hips over and over as she tried desperately to get closer to him.  Michael kissed her once more on the mouth and pushed himself up on his hands and stared down at her.  "Tell me, luv.  Tell me you want this as much as I do." 

He was breathing hard, and Lennie could see the veins straining at his neck as he waited for her answer.  Not able to find the words, she reached up and grasped his shirt collar and pulled him back down to her.  She kissed him forcefully, delighting at the groans she produced when she nipped at his lips the way he had done to hers.  Michael pulled back and stared down at her again, breathing even harder as he searched her face.  

"Lennie?" He hoarsely breathed out.

Lennie timidly smiled and just barely nodded her consent, and Michael released the breath he had been holding.  He crawled off of her and Lennie leaned up on her forearms to see where he was going, a frown on her face as he moved back to the door.  He closed the bedroom door and locked it, and Lennie's frown disappeared, replaced by tremulous anticipation as he sauntered back over to bed.  He pulled his shirt off and tossed it on a chair nearby, and Lennie felt that familiar wetness pool between her legs, the ache already beginning to throb. Dear god he was shirtless.  Michael leaned over the edge of the bed and grasped her foot and pulled her to him.

"Come 'ere, you," he murmured as he dragged her across the bed.

 

* * *

 

 

**Here's a little something to tide you over until the next chapter.....**

           

 

**I'm not even sorry.**

 

 

 

 

 

 


	19. Chapter 19

Michael pulled her to the edge of the bed and leaned over her, placing his hands on each side of her face.  He kissed her lightly on the lips, and Lennie squirmed underneath him, causing him to grin down at her.

“Impatient?” he nipped at her again, and softly bit along her jaw as he worked his way around to her neck.

“Well, it’s been over four years!” Lennie grouched as she tried to pull him back to her.  He pulled back himself and stared down at her in shock.

“Four years?” he asked her, and Lennie could see the disbelief on his face.  She stiffened almost immediately and placed her hands on his chest to push at him.

“Don’t,” Michael swatted her hands away and placed them at her side. “Don’t run, Lennie. I was just shocked is all.”

“Because you’ve not waited, have you?” Lennie bit out angrily.  Just like that the mood was dampened, and she did not want to be here any longer. She could feel the disgust rising in her belly.

“Lennie,” Michael uneasily began, but it was too late.  Lennie rolled out from under him and headed towards the door, but Michael grabbed her by her arm and turned her back around to face him. She stared at the floor in embarrassment.  She was so pissed off, and so frustrated, that she didn’t know what to do.

“Lennie….luv….listen. I'm sorry. Okay? I didn’t mean for it come out that way. I was just surprised.” He brought her hand up to his lips and tenderly kissed her knuckles.

“You must think I’m pathetic for not having sex since you, huh?” Lennie dejectedly mumbled.

“Not at all.  It actually makes me feel like more of an asshole for what I did,” he admitted.  Lennie looked up at him, her eyes blurry with angry tears.

"Then why?  Why did you do it?” she whispered, not wanting to hear it, but knowing full well she needed to know why.  He had to have a reason. “Was it me? Did I do something wrong?”

Michael’s face softened, but the lines on his face were etched deep with regret.

“Come sit with me, okay?” He asked her quietly. “Not to do anything other than talk, Lennie.”

She shrugged indifferently, but she reluctantly followed as Michael pulled her back to the bed.  He sat down on the edge of the bed and pulled her in-between his legs and looked up at her as his hands rested on her hips.

“I’m so sorry, Lennie. More than you’ll ever know.”

“Then just tell me why. I thought things were good, and that you and I were together, and….” she trailed off as she looked away, biting her lip to keep the tears from leaking out.

“That’s just it, Lennie. They were too good,” he said.

“What?” Lennie jerked her head back around to look down at him angrily. “What does that mean?”

“It means I got scared.  It went too fast, this thing between you and I,” he explained. “I’ve never felt that way about anyone, Lennie. Never. So when I did with you – after barely a month – I sort of freaked out, you know?” His eyes searched hers for understanding.

“So because you felt so strongly about us – about me – you had to go and fuck someone?” Lennie muttered between clenched teeth. “Really?”

“Lennie. I know it sounds stupid-”

“No it is stupid, Michael!” She was practically spitting fire, she was so mad.  She struggled against his hands, and tried to push them off her hips so she could get away, but Michael stood and wrapped his arms around her tightly.

“No, Lennie. I am not letting you go again. Not like this.” He pressed his cheek against the top of her head as he held her to him, waiting until she stopped struggling. When she finally did stop pushing at him, he could tell she was crying.  God, he was such an asshole.

“Lennie?”

“I hate you, Michael,” she whispered against his chest in defeat. “I hate you, and I want to leave.” 

Michael released her and lifted his hands to cup her cheeks, forcing her to look at him. Her eyes were watery, full of heavy tears that were slowly trickling down her cheeks and onto his fingers. He leaned down and kissed her softly – timidly– on the lips.  He was relieved to find she opened to him, and that she didn't push him away.

“I’m sorry, Lennie.  Sorry about it all.  I know you hate me, and I know you can’t forgive me right now, but please, give me a chance,” he pleaded with her. Lennie bit at her lower lip and nodded her consent. 

There was a sense of urgency in the air, almost as if they needed to hurry before one or the other changed their minds.  Lennie reached down and began fumbling with the buttons on Michael's jeans as he kissed her again.   Michael pulled her tee shirt over her head, and his body tightened at the sight of her standing before him in her bra.  He pulled her to him, crushing her chest against his as he kissed along the column of her neck.  His hands roamed over her ass, and his fingers bunched the fabric of her sweats into piles under his palms.  Lennie groaned as he pulled her closer to him, and this only spurred Michael on.   The feeling of her hands on his back, her nails scratching against his skin, were driving him insane with desire.

“Goddamn, Lennie!” he murmured against her skin.  Lennie felt her skin break out in goosebumps as he moved along to her ear, nipping, licking, and kissing. “I have missed this so much, luv.”

Lennie pulled out of his hands and leaned back up to stare at him.  Michael began to speak but she cut him off with a hand firmly placed over his mouth.

“Michael. Please don’t talk, okay?” she whispered quietly. “Just make love to me, okay?  Please don’t talk.” 

He nodded in understanding, and Lennie slowly dropped her hand back down to his chest. Michael pulled her to him and turned them both, dropping her back on the bed.  He quickly pulled her pants off along with her panties, and wasted no time ridding himself of his own clothing.  His erection was painfully hard, and Lennie felt it against her thigh as Michael lay between her legs.  She wiggled so that her core was pressed against him, and Michael stared down at her in question.  She nodded, and pulled at his shoulders, and Michael reached down and positioned himself at her entrance.    He pushed in, burying himself all the way, and both he and Lennie breathed a sigh of long-awaited relief.  He buried his face in her neck as he held himself still, not wanting to move for fear of going too fast. He was trembling against her with the strain; he’d forgotten how good she felt, and right now all he wanted to do was slam into her over and over again.  With the way Lennie was moving, he was not going to last.

“Michael…” Lennie moaned against his hair. She was scratching his back, her nails leaving marks as she tried to pull him to her. “I can’t….” she panted in need, her words escaping her.

Michael pulled out and thrust into her hard, earning a gasp from Lennie.  She locked her heels behind his back and held on tight, meeting his every thrust. They both knew this wouldn’t last long, and neither tried to prolong it.  Michael felt it in his gut, his body beginning to tense too fast, and he knew he was close.  He felt like a damn teenage boy!

“Come on, Lennie,” Michael hoarsely urged her as he reached down and pressed his finger against her clit, tapping the tiny bundle of nerves as he spread her wetness all around.  Lennie began moving erratically, her breath coming as shallow pants of need.  He was nearly coming undone himself; his grip on his body was slowly deteriorating as her body claimed him. She was so tight and so warm and-

“Fuck!” Michael growled, as unable to hold it back any longer, he spurted inside her as he came.  Lennie ground her hips against him, seeking her own release, and he just barely felt her fingers clawing his lower back as she held him to her body, so wrapped up in his own emotions.  Her legs were locked tight around his waist, and he felt her clenching at him from inside, her body gripping him so tightly it almost hurt.  He gritted his teeth as he strained to remain still, to give Lennie what she needed from him.  Lennie pushed her head back against the mattress and arched up into him as she continued to move, trying to glean every last bit of pleasure she could from his body.

With one final arch, she stilled, and her legs released him and fell out to the side lazily. When her eyes fluttered open, she saw Michael looking down at her with an exhausted smile. She reached up and pushed his sweaty hair off his forehead, and traced the lines on his face with her fingers almost as if she were remembering him. Michael turned his head and kissed one of her fingertips delicately, and Lennie smiled up at him as he nuzzled her hand.

“I missed you, Lennie.” He buried his face in the crook of her neck again, and Lennie delighted in the feeling of his heavy weight on top of her.  She could still feel his heart beat thundering in his chest, much like hers was doing.  She brought her hands up and ran them through the damp curls at the back of his neck, twisting and pulling the hairs around her finger. She didn’t realize how much she missed this – missed him – til this very moment.  Lying here in his arms, sated from lovemaking, brought all the memories back to when they were first together. She frowned and closed her eyes, knowing it indeed brought all the memories back – even the bad ones.  She tried to remain calm, to not think about it, and to focus on Michael on top of her – inside her! – but she couldn’t. It was like a horrible movie was playing and there was no power button to make it stop! The sight of him in that woman’s arms came flooding back through her mind, and she suddenly felt like she was being suffocated. He was too heavy and she needed to get him off. She pushed at his shoulders, and he mumbled something indiscernible into her neck.

“Michael.” She was trying to remain calm. She was trying.

“Michael!” she said a bit louder. He leaned up and looked down at her, and she could tell he had just been about to doze off. His sleepy blue eyes focused on her, his brow furrowing as he realized something was wrong.

“Get off, please,” Lennie whispered.  She was trying to remain calm, to not freak out, but everything in her was screaming for him to get off of her. He was moving too slow! She shoved at his shoulders angrily. “Get off!”

“What’s wrong?” he asked in confusion.  Lennie pushed at him again, more forcefully this time, and Michael rolled off of her and onto his side. “What’s the matter?”

Ignoring him,  Lennie scrambled off the bed and grabbed her clothing as quick as possible and headed to his bathroom.  She closed the door behind her and locked it. After she finished cleaning herself off and putting her clothes back on, she stared at herself in the mirror.  She could see marks on her face from his beard, the red splotches and swollen lips clearly visible against her too-pale skin.  Shaking her head at herself, she turned the water back and leaned down to splash water on her face in an effort to cool off. 

She was so disgusted with herself.  Just like that, he’d sucked her right back in.  With a crook of his finger, she’d fallen right back down into it. She swore she’d not go through that again, and especially not with Michael.  She had too much to lose.  She dried her face off, and with one last look at herself, she headed back out into the room to face Michael.  When she opened the door, she saw that he was sitting on the edge of the bed.  He’d thrown on some baggy sweatpants, but he was still shirtless.  He stood as Lennie walked out.

“Lennie-” She held her hand up and attempted to walk past him, but he grabbed her by her arm and turned her around to face him. “What happened?”

He leaned down to try to meet her eyes, but she continued to stare at the wall. “Tell me what just happened? I thought things were good, right?” 

Lennie clenched her eyes shut against her tears, but then turned to Michael. Her chin trembled as she spoke.

“Yeah, and then I remembered what an asshole you are,” she whispered furiously.

Michael was taken aback and he dropped her arm. “What?”

"You know _what_ , Michael," Lennie hissed again.  She crossed her arms over her chest defensively as she glared up at him.  Michael ran a hand through his hair in aggravation and started pacing.

"Really?  Really, Lennie?  After that?" he gestured towards the bed angrily.  "After that, and you just go back to that shit?"

"It was just sex, Michael," Lennie muttered disdainfully.  Michael was taken aback again, and he looked at her like she'd just grown two heads.

"Are you fucking serious right now?" He rubbed a hand over his mouth in bewilderment.  How did they go from making love to this?  "Are you serious, Lennie?"

"Ask me again.  I didn't hear you the first twelve times," Lennie sarcastically replied.   She was getting some kind of sick pleasure from making him feel like shit right now, but a part of her was hurting - for her and for him.  She felt like her heart was being ripped out again as she unleashed her anger on him.  It was a mixed bag of emotions, and she wasn't sure what she was doing right now. 

"Now you're being a smartass, right?" Michael sardonically arched an eyebrow at her.

"It is what it is, Michael," Lennie coolly replied. 

"So why are you still standing here, then?" Michael retorted.  "If you wanted to go you would have done it already, but you're still here.  Still arguing with me."

Lennie sputtered for a moment, her voice failing as she tried to think of something to say back.  Her mouth dropped open when Michael reached around her and opened his door, motioning for her to leave.  He was going to make her leave?

"Go, then." His expression was unreadable.  Michael flung his hand in a sweeping motion against the door.  "Go." His voice was harder, colder, this time, and Lennie blanched under his gaze.

"It's what you want, right?  To leave?" He asked her quietly.  "Go.  Just fucking go."

Lennie stared at him for a few moments, and he stared back.  His blue eyes were ice cold and Lennie could feel the anger emanating off him.   Why did she feel like crying?  Why wasn't he trying to stop her?  Did she want him to stop her? Her thoughts and emotions were all scrambling for attention, leaving her so very confused.

"Fine," she whispered.  It was hard to speak around the lump in her throat. 

"Fine," Michael mocked her with a disparaging smirk.  Lennie defiantly lifted her chin and walked through his door and across his suite, and yanked her door open.   From across the hall Michael slammed his door.  He wouldn't follow her this time.

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yeah so I don't even know what the hell with the gif. It sounded good at the time....


	20. Chapter 20

The phone rang, and again Lennie let it go to voice-mail. It was the third call today.  It was nearly 8pm, and she’d managed to avoid reality thus far.  She was shaking when she played the message.

_“Hi, Lennie. It’s.. uhm.. it’s me, Jacob.  I’d really like to talk to you.  Leon would too. I know this is probably awkward, and weird, but I think we should all get together and talk, okay? Okay…uhm..I’m guessing you’re at work, so please give me a call when you get a chance, yeah? It's pretty important, and it concerns my mom.  No pressure, but give us a call, okay? Alright, talk with you later.”_

The thick Cajun accent hit her right in the gut; the voice sounded so much like her dad.  It sounded so much like her dad and it made things hurt so much more.  She closed her eyes and rubbed her temple to fend off the approaching headache.  She’d only just found out about her dad’s secret life, the one he’d been hiding for nearly 28 years. 

28 years.

His other family lived right under their noses, right down in New Orleans.  As Lennie had been thinking about things since she’d received the calls and messages, she realized that all those trips her daddy used to take her on were maybe not so special.  They weren’t only for them to take a trip together, and she realized it now.  She remembered meeting his other family, although she didn’t know that they were family at the time.  Helene was nice, always very friendly to Lennie, and the boys, Leon and Jacob, were equally nice.  Lennie always thought they were just 'daddy’s friends', and she had a good time whenever they visited them.  It wasn’t til nearly a year after the funeral when she’d found out the truth, but even then she'd kept it to herself.  Her emotions were still too raw after losing not only her father, but her brother and mother as well in the crash.  Had it not been for her mother's journals hidden away in her room, she would have very likely never known.   She put the journals back in her mother's closet and they still sat there, untouched and unmoved to this day.  Hoping it would all just go away, she'd avoided the situation much liked she'd done with Cooper and Michael.

She received the first messages out of the blue from her half-brother a little over a month before she'd been called by Steve about Marie's passing.   She’d been contacted first by a message on Facebook, but she’d refused to delve into it.   Then to get a phone message from someone she didn’t know, who sounded just like her father, claiming to be her half-brother, was just too much to deal with.   What did they want from her? What could she possibly gain by getting to know these people?  A part of her wanted to run to them, to cling to them as they were all the family she had left, but an equally strong part of her wanted to run away and hide.  Pretend like it never happened. 

She just felt alone. She felt alone, and she felt betrayed, and she felt sad.

She’d hated her mom for so long. Her mother’s addiction to alcohol and prescription pain meds had torn their small family apart.  Now, knowing what she did, Lennie felt that while her mom made a lot of bad decisions, they were most likely fueled by her father’s actions.  Lennie nearly started crying as she remembered the entries she’d read in her mother’s journal.  So much pain that Lennie had never known about.  How could she be so blind?  While she still loved her father, her image of him had shifted.  Why would he do this to them? Why would he keep such a secret for so long? She felt like such a fool. Her father had been her world, even more so as her mother had spiraled down into her addiction. Now, Lennie felt like she’d been living a lie for so long, and she felt a tremendous amount of guilt for having treated her mother the way she did. Everything she'd ever believed was a lie.  Every last bit of it.

“Why, daddy?” she muttered to herself as she looked up at a picture of her family above her desk.  Her phone rang again, and Lennie startled. She glanced at it and this time she answered.

“Hey. What’s up?” She tried to make her voice as normal as possible.

“He called again,” Ellie said quietly.

“He?” Lennie’s heart started pumping faster as she waited, hoping against hope…

“Your….other family, Lennie,” her friend replied.  Lennie weakly sank back against her chair in disappointment.

“They called me too,” she mumbled into the phone.

“Well, Lennie, you need to handle it, girl,” Ellie urged her. Ellie was her long-time friend since childhood, and Lennie didn’t know what she would do without her.  She knew everything, from Lennie’s family to Cooper’s parentage.  She knew it all and she had stuck by Lennie through it all.

“How’s Cooper?” Lennie asked as she dodged Ellie’s statement.

“Real smooth, Len." Her friend missed nothing. "He’s fine. We’re playing hide and seek,” Ellie chuckled.  Cooper was a master of hide and seek.

“I’ll be home in the next hour.  Just gotta finish these notes.” She shoved some papers back in their file. “Any other calls?” she asked, trying to sound nonchalant, but Ellie was on to her.

“Not since that last one,” Ellie replied. “Maybe you should call him, Len.”

“I’ll be home shortly.” She shut her laptop and shoved it into her messenger bag as she again ignored Ellie’s comment.

“Alright. We’ll be here.”

Lennie hung up the phone and quickly finished up for the evening and headed home.

* * *

 

“Hey, baby,” Lennie softly kissed Cooper on the temple. He was sleeping on the couch, clearly worn out from his day with Ellie, and Lennie was thankful for the respite. She covered him back up with his little blanket, and turned the lights down low in the living room, and walked into the kitchen. Lennie sank down onto a bar stool and lay her head down on her folded arms. Ellie slid an open bottle of Guinness her way.

“That bad, huh?” Ellie asked as she sat down next to her friend.

“Uhm-huh,” Lennie grumbled.

“So what are you gonna do?”

“I don’t know.” She didn’t even know what situation they were talking about right now – Michael or her new-found family.

“Who else knows?”

“No one other than you,” Lennie replied as she sat up and took a long swallow of her beer.  While it tasted good, she also felt the immediate guilt that came with consuming liquor. Thanks mom, she thought bitterly to herself and took another sip.

“Michael doesn’t know?” Ellie softly asked her friend.  Lennie shook her head miserably. “Why, Len? Why won’t you let him help you?”

Lennie took another sip of beer.

“I don’t know.  It’s too hard to talk about. First, mom and dad, and Chase dying,” her voice cracked at her brother’s name, “and then finding out my dad was a liar all my life. And now the other family is calling me.  I don’t know where to start.  He hates me right now, anyways.”  She pinched the bridge of her nose as she thought about all the fucked up situations going on in her life currently.  If it wasn't one thing, it was another.  She was exhausted and wanted to just go to bed and pull the covers up and never come out.

“The beginning, Len.  You start at the beginning, and tell him everything.  You call your half-brothers and talk to them. Just start from the beginning.”

Ellie and her simplicity. It was something that Lennie longed for - to just see things simply the way Ellie did.  Ellie was so laid back, and literally strolled through life. Her parents were very well off (rich!) and Ellie had been afforded opportunities that Lennie never had.  Even now, Ellie was bouncing back and forth between her hair dressing job and jet-setting across the world. What a life that must be, Lennie thought with smile.

“What?” Ellie asked her with an arched brow.

“You’re just funny,” Lennie replied as she took another sip. “Everything is so simple for you.”

“It is simple, Lennie,” Ellie said with a chuckle of her own. “Besides, what’s the harm in trying?”

“Uhm… I don’t know….he cheats on me again?” Lennie retorted angrily and Ellie chuckled again.

“I was talking about your family, and what’s the worst that can happen there, but I can see you’re still stuck on Stelios.” Ellie laughed as her friend scowled at her.

“I hate you sometimes,” Lennie bit out as she took another sip of beer. “And don’t call him that!”

Ellie leaned over and hugged her childhood friend. “No you don’t. You just can’t stand when I’m right, which is like all the time.”  Ellie stood.  "Let's go out back, yeah?  Get some fresh air. It'll do you good."

Lennie pulled off her cardigan and followed Ellie to her backyard and sat down on the patio furniture.

"Pool looks nice," Ellie teased.

"Shut up," Lennie replied.  The hole in the ground that was supposed to be the pool was still a hole in the ground, but now it was becoming a mud hole with all this rain.  Fucking contractors.

"We always did like to play in the mud," Ellie laughed and Lennie did too as memories of the two of them getting muddy came back to her.  They stayed in trouble with their parents!

"I need to call them tomorrow," Lennie stated absentmindedly.

"Your brothers?"

"The contractors," Lennie stated flatly.

"You need to call your brothers, too, Len.  They are your family.  It's worth exploring, and they seem like good people," Ellie argued gently.  "Just because your dad made a colossal mistake doesn't mean that they are bad people.  It was his mistake - not yours, and not theirs.  They are just as much victims as you are, sweetie."

"Yeah," Lennie muttered.  It was just so hard to think about.  Her brain was hurting if that was possible, her temples throbbing in tune to her heartbeat.

"You need to call him, too," Ellie said softly.  Lennie sucked in a deep breath and exhaled, knowing who she was talking about. 

"I need to do a lot of things."

"You need to stop running and try to be happy, Lennie.  That's what you need to do," Ellie's voice rose.  "Just because something bad happened once doesn't mean it's gonna happen again.  Yeah, it sucks, but it happened.  Time to move on.  Same with your family.  It's not ideal, but it is what it is.  You can be happy, Len, or you can stay like this, hiding out in your cave and hoping the world passes you by."

Lennie took another sip of beer, unable to speak as her friend continued.

"If you want to be happy you gotta make it happen, Len.   Nobody is gonna come along and dump it in your lap. Your brothers are trying to be a part of your life.  Michael is trying to be a part of your life.  Let them, sweetie.  Just take a chance."

"And what happens when it all goes to shit again, Ellie?  What then?" Lennie whispered.  She wiped at her eyes where the tears were already forming.  She was so damn exhausted. 

"And so it does, Len! But at least you know you've tried!  You can't sit here wondering what if this, and what if that.  You'll never know til you try."  Ellie reached over and grabbed her friends loose hand.  "Len, Michael is Cooper's father.  Jacob and Leon are his uncles.  You have to do it for him, if for no one else.  You're gonna drive yourself insane trying to keep Cooper all to yourself."

"It's hard," Lennie whispered, and Ellie squeezed her hand gently.

"I know it is, sha. I know it is, but you've gotta try.  After all this shit you've been through the past four years, you deserve to be happy."  Ellie stood and pushed the hair off Lennie's forehead and kissed her on the top of her head.  "I'm gonna go inside.  I'll give you some time to think on your own, but I'll be in the guest room if you need me."

"You're staying?"  Lennie asked her friend.  Ellie grinned down at her from the door.

"Of course.  Got nowhere else to be, and I told Coop we were making waffles tomorrow."

"Alright.  Thanks Ellie," Lennie smiled at her friend.  Ellie winked back at her and disappeared inside, leaving Lennie to her thoughts. 

As she stared out over her backyard, she watched as the lightning bugs lit up the dark, the small yellow glows appearing all throughout the dark.  There was a faint wind blowing from the north, and Lennie inhaled deeply.   This was where she was most calm, sitting out in the quiet of her yard.  She wished she could stay out here forever, just her and Cooper, and...

She frowned as Michael intruded into her thoughts, his dancing blue eyes and huge grin flashing before her.  Images of him and Cooper together playing in the backyard, and throwing pillows at each other. She smiled wistfully when she thought about him sleeping on the floor in Cooper's room, and of Cooper's delight at seeing him in New York.  Then came the images of her and him together.  She remembered how right it felt when he pulled her into his arms. She felt her skin heat at the memories of his lips against her skin, the touch of his hand on her body.   She couldn't deny that she still harbored feelings for him, and it hurt when he didn't come after her, but she knew why he didn't.  

She also couldn't deny that she was curious about her brothers. They had always been nice to her, and even now they were never pushy.  She knew they were good men, and they were family - whether they came by it the right way or not.  She had no one left besides Cooper after her family's deaths, but now she had Jacob and Leon - if she would just return their calls.  If she would just reach out.  

She sucked in another deep breath and finished her beer.  She knew what she needed to do.  It was going to be hard to do it,  but it had to be done.

 

* * *

 

**Here's my inspiration for Jacob and Leon :-) I sure do love those Landry boys!**

 

 

**And some laughing Fassy just for reasons...**

 


	21. Chapter 21

The next day, Ellie agreed to take Cooper out so that Lennie could call Jacob back.  She had been stalling for the past hour, and she knew she just needed to hurry up and get on with it.  She paced back and forth throughout the kitchen as she dialed his phone number. 

“Hello?’ the thick voice came over the line, and once again Lennie was shocked by how much Jacob’s voice resembled their father’s.

“Hi. It’s…uh…it’s Lennie. Lennon,” she stammered.

“Hello, Lennie. How are you?” Jacob’s voice softened and Lennie relaxed slightly.  She sat down in a chair at the table, and nervously chewed her nail.

“I’m okay. I guess. I don’t know. This is very weird, right?” Lennie rushed out.  Jacob chuckled on the other line, and Lennie caught herself smiling a bit.  He sounded so much like her father; it was uncanny. 

"You sound like dad,” she whispered, and she blinked rapidly at the tears that were forming.

“Yeah. Been told that. Look just like him too,” Jacob agreed.  His voice had grown gruffer, somber even,  and Lennie knew he was experiencing some of what she was still. 

The thought just occurred to her of how much harder it must be for him and Leon.  At least she had their dad for the majority of the time; Jacob and Leon only had him whenever he went out of town.  Her heart was breaking as she thought about the mess they were all in.

“So, Lennie…I hate to bother you.  Dad always said how busy you were with school and work. I just wanted to let you know that my mom is sick.  Cancer.  It’s terminal, and we are preparing for her to pass.  She wanted us to reach out to you.  I think she didn’t want to go with us not knowing each other.”

Silence came over the line, and Lennie’s heart clenched.  Jacob was trying to be so strong but she could hear in his voice how badly this was affecting him.

“Oh, Jacob.  I am so, so sorry,” Lennie said softly.  She really was sorry.  She knew what it was like to lose a parent.  When Jacob's mother passed,  he and Leon would have lost both parents - just like Lennie had.  Jacob cleared his throat before speaking. 

“Yeah.  We’ve known for a while. It’s just moving quick now,” he said. “I think she would like to talk to you as well.  I know you may not want to, but I think she could give you some answers.”

“I’m sorry for avoiding you for so long, Jacob.  It’s just….well….I don’t know,” Lennie sniffled as her throat constricted with her tears.

“Lennie.  It’s okay.  We all seem to have gotten the short end of the stick here, and I don’t blame you for anything.  It wasn’t our fault.  Dad made some bad decisions, but he loved us. He didn’t want to hurt us.”

“Yeah. I think so too,” she choked out.  Her voice was strained and she could feel the tears rolling down her cheeks, and she wiped at her face with the back of he hand.

“Don’t cry, Lennie.  That’s not how our first discussion was supposed to go,” Jacob tried to tease her, and Lennie giggled between her sniffles.

“Sorry. Should we be arguing then?” she teased back, and Jacob laughed out loud.

“No. This is well enough for me,” he laughed again. “So, uh....you-”

“Would you guys like to come for a visit?” Lennie blurted out.  She closed her eyes, immediately regretting her thoughtless words, but Jacob’s response stunned her.

“Sure. Leo can’t wait.  He’s done nothing but talk about the fact that he has a nephew named after him,” Jacob laughed again, but quickly sobered. “Hey…uh Lennie…I’m sorry. Dad told us you were naming your son after him when you were pregnant.  I didn’t mean to overstep.  I’m sorry.”

“No, no.  It’s okay.  I actually named Cooper after dad, but I didn’t know that I had a brother also named after dad,” Lennie smiled as she spoke.  She had a brother. Two brothers, and they were both alive.

“So his name is Cooper, then?” Jacob asked.

“Yes. Cooper Leon LeBlanc.”

“How old is he?”

“He’ll be four very soon,” Lennie admitted. She was feeling _some kind of way_ talking about her son with a family member, but she couldn’t put her finger on what it was. Relief, maybe? Something...

“Four years old.  Are you married?” Jacob asked and Lennie snorted.

“This is like an interview,” she teased and Jacob immediately began back-tracking.

“Hey, Lennie, I’m sorry.  Just wondering what to expect when we come down is all.  I don’t mean to pry, I really don’t,” he apologized.  Lennie’s grin grew.  He was very polite, her brother.

“No. I’m not married.  It’s a long story, and I’ll explain it when you guys come down.  When are you free?” she asked.

“Oh we can come anytime, Lennie.  We’re running a gator business, so we can leave when we please.”

“Gators?” Lennie asked incredulously.

“Yeah, gators.  We catch ‘em, remove ‘em, you name it.  Sell ‘em to the local markets ‘round here,” Jacob explained.

“God.  Cooper is gonna love you two,” Lennie breathed out. “I don’t know if that makes me happy or terrified!”

Jacob laughed again and Lennie again felt herself smiling.  She was not expecting this type of conversation.  At all.

“Tomorrow’s Saturday. Wanna come then?” Lennie asked. “Get to know each other a bit, and then I’ll come up and see your mom.” Her voice was strained on the last sentence, and it did not go unnoticed by Jacob.

“Yeah we can do that.  It won’t take long for us to get there, so shoot for noon maybe?”

“Yeah. That’s fine,” Lennie said quietly.

“Thanks for trying Lennie.” Jacob’s voice had grown considerably deeper again. “I know this is hard for you, and I appreciate you trying.  It means a lot to us all.”

“Okay,” Lennie whispered as she clutched the phone tightly. “See you tomorrow?”

“Sure thing.  Text me your address and we’ll make sure we’re there around noon.”

“Okay,” Lennie repeated and hung up the phone.

She sat there at the kitchen table for some time, blankly staring off into space as the previous minutes played over and over in her mind.  That was not how she expected the phone call to go. She assumed that Jacob would be a jerk, or that he would resent her, or maybe even blame her for something.  She had no idea what she thought would happen when they spoke, but it definitely wasn’t what she was expecting.  She had a strong sensation that she was really going to like Jacob.  While she hadn’t yet met Leon, if he was anything like his brother, she’d probably like him as well.  She smiled when she thought about telling Cooper that he had uncles.  He had barely known Chase when the accident happened, and so he’d been without immediate family for most of his life.  He would be so excited. 

Her phone buzzed in her hand and she looked down.  It was Jacob, asking for her address.  She quickly texted him back, and he replied back to thank her.  She turned her phone over and over in her hand, her mind turning again.  If that conversation with her brother had gone that well, maybe she should try with Michael?  She hadn’t heard from him since the hotel in New York, and he hadn’t seen Cooper since then.  Not even a phone call, and it had been going on for almost a month now.  She scrolled through her phone and found his name.  She would just text him, tell him she was willing to talk.  That’s what she would do.  She had to try, and today was a good day since she was still on a high from the conversation with her brother.

**Lennie: Hey. I’m sorry about what happened. I am ready to talk if you are.**

She waited.  And waited.  And waited some more, but still no reply from Michael.  She tried to tamp down her aggravation before Cooper got home that evening, but she was progressively getting more and more annoyed at his lack of response to the olive branch she'd extended.  She had Cooper tucked in bed and was just stepping in the shower when her phone buzzed on the counter top.  She stepped back out and rushed over to it.  It was Michael.

**Michael: I’ll let you know.**

Lennie stared at the phone in aggravation. That fucker! _I’ll let you know??_  

She texted him back.

**Lennie: When might that be?**

She waited, standing naked in her bathroom, as she stared at her phone.

**Michael: Not sure.**

Lennie literally stomped her foot in aggravation.  What the fuck?  _I’ll let you know? He wasn’t sure?_   Her phone buzzed again in her hand again. 

**Michael: You wanted it this way. Not me.**

Lennie read that text over and over again, but she didn’t reply.  She knew he was right.  She knew he was right, and she had indeed wanted it this way.  She had fucked everything up, and they were here because of decisions she’d made.  She closed her phone down and set it on the counter top and got back in the shower. She'd been standing out there messing with her phone so long that the water was getting cooler.  She stood under the water, shivering and teeth chattering as her tears of regret mixed with the water as it rolled down her cheeks.  She would just have to wait until he decided to contact her, and that was assuming that he _wanted_ to speak to her.  He still had visitation with Cooper on certain days, but that hardly meant anything for her. He could very easily spend time with Cooper without spending time with her.   She needed to prepare herself for co-parenting with Michael, because right now, that was where it seemed to be headed.  She was such a fucking idiot.


	22. Chapter 22

Lennie and Cooper were sitting out back when they heard the roar of a truck as it pulled up in the driveway. She nervously followed her son around the house, not knowing what to expect.  Jacob and Leon were standing by their truck, looking just as nervous as she was.  Lennie was stunned for a moment as she looked at who she assumed was Jacob.  He looked exactly like their dad, only younger and with lighter hair.

“Who are you?” Cooper innocently asked, breaking the silence for them all.  Jacob looked towards Lennie for help and she smiled as she walked up behind Cooper and leaned down.  Leon looked down at the ground and Lennie’s smile grew at his bashfulness.  He also looked like their father, but not near as much as Jacob did.

“They are your uncles, Coop. Just like Uncle Chase,” Lennie explained to him. “They’re mama’s brothers.”

“How you doing, Cooper?” Jacob stepped forward and held out his hand to Cooper. "I'm Jacob, and that's Leon." Jacob nodded his head in his brother's direction.   Cooper grinned as he took his uncle’s much larger hand into his smaller one and shook it. 

“You talk funny!” Cooper giggled, causing Lennie to gasp in embarrassment.  Leon burst out laughing, and Jacob did as well.

“That’s ‘cause we’re from down south,” Jacob leaned down to Cooper’s height.  “I brought you something special.  Wanna come see what it is?”  He jerked his head back to the truck.  Cooper looked back to his mother for approval and Lennie nodded her consent, and off her went.  She watched as Jacob held Cooper’s hand and then lifted him into the back of the truck to see what was there.

“It’s a gator head,” Leon said softly, and Lennie turned to him with a smile.

“How are you? You must be Leon, right?” She held her hand out, and Leon nervously took it.  He was the younger brother, and Lennie found it endearing that he was so shy around her.

“Yes ma’am,” he replied, and immediately turned red.  Lennie burst out laughing, unable to control it.

“I’m not that much older than you, am I?” she asked him when her mirth subsided.

“Well, I’m twenty-seven.  How old are you?” He asked her. His cheeks were still red.

“I’m about to be thirty-one, so not that much older.  How old is Jacob?” She glanced back over at her son and her brother.  Cooper was crawling all over the back of the truck, delighting at all the stuff his uncles had brought him.

“He’s a year older than you.  Thirty-two next month,” Leon stated.  Lennie's mind was turning, trying to piece together the time line and wonder how her dad managed to pull all this off.  Cooper and Jacob came back, and Lennie was a little put-off to see her son carrying a few alligator heads of various sizes, and was wearing what appeared to be a necklace made out of alligator claws.  Or teeth.  Oh god, what if it was teeth??

“Mama! Look what I got!” Cooper proudly showed off his necklace and Lennie wrinkled her nose up.  Jacob noticed and laughed at her.

“Don’t tell me you’re a city girl, yeah?” He teased her, and Lennie rolled her eyes dramatically.

“I can fish with the best of them!” she protested with a laugh.  “I just never thought my son would be wearing alligator claws around his neck.” 

“No mama! It's teeth!! Look at them!” Cooper held the necklace out for her to see. 

“I believe you, baby,” Lennie held her hand up to halt him from moving closer.  She looked to her brothers.

“You guys wanna come in?”

“Yeah you can come see my room!” Cooper stated happily.  Lennie led the way in to the house, and pulled out some iced tea and other drinks while Cooper gave her brothers the tour of their home.  When they finally came back into the living room, Lennie had glasses poured for all of them.

“I didn’t know if y’all were thirsty, or not. So I poured a bit of everything,” she explained nervously.  Coming inside had made things much more intimate, if that were the correct word.  The three adults could feel it in the air – the tension – but as usual, Cooper was blissfully unaware.  He sat at the table swinging his legs as he interrogated his uncles.

“How did you get those aldigator heads?” Cooper asked as he sipped on his juice.  Lennie hid her grin at his mispronunciation of the word alligator.

“Well, see, we have a business where we catch some alligators for food,” Jacob explained gently. “So sometimes, people want to have a reminder, and so we keep the heads and make 'em so that you can take 'em home with you.”

“You catch aldigators?” Cooper’s eyes had grown a big as saucers, the blue a striking contrast to the whites of his eyes.  His little brows were drawn together as he contemplated how it was possible to catch an 'aldigator.'  Lennie felt a moment of sadness as she stared at her son – right now, in this very moment, he looked so much like Michael it was nearly unbearable.  Michael got that same look on his face when he was trying to figure something out.

“Yeah we catch ‘em,” Leon interjected, drawing Lennie’s eyes up to him. “And we eat ‘em, too!”

If it were possible, Cooper’s eyes got even bigger.  Lennie stifled another laugh, but Jacob couldn’t hold it in and laughed out loud.  Cooper turned to his mother.

“Can I eat aldigator?”

“You have, baby. Many times,” Lennie admitted, and Cooper smiled, his huge smile with all his teeth…just like his daddy.

“Was it good?” he asked, and this time all three adults laughed out loud.

“Well you didn’t complain, so I think you liked it!” Lennie laughed again as she reached over and ruffled his hair.

"Can I go play in my room with my aldigator heads?" Cooper asked. 

"Yeah, that's a good idea," Lennie agreed.  Cooper scooted off his chair and ran down the hallway.  As soon as he left, the tension settled back over the table again.   Jacob was the first to break the silence.

"It's a nice place you got here, Lennie," he looked around her spacious house approvingly.  "You've done well for yourself, yeah?" He looked back to her, his gentle brown eyes so much like her father's.  So much like hers. 

"I've done alright," Lennie modestly replied.

"So mom said you were a psychologist? Or something like that?" Leon asked. 

"Yeah, a clinical psychologist.  I also work at LSU as a professor."

"Dang! Our sister is smart, little brother!" Jacob looked at Leon with a grin and then looked back at Lennie.  "That's amazing, Lennie."

Lennie felt herself blushing under their praise.  It had been so long since she'd had a family member heap praise on her. 

"You guys are doing good too, then?" she asked as she tried to deflect the questions from herself. 

"Oh yeah, we do alright.  It was one of dad's old businesses.  We took it over a few years back, before he...." Jacob stopped talking and looked at Leon.  Leon's face had turned red, and he stood up stiffly.

"Excuse me," he said as he walked out of the room and back outside.   Lennie watched him go with a frown, and turned to Jacob for an answer.

"He still gets very upset about whenever anyone brings up dad.  He took it hard," Jacob explained.  "Now with mom, he's not doing too well."

"Oh I am so sorry, Jacob," Lennie offered.  "If there's anything I can do, let me know, okay? Anything at all."

"Thanks for letting us come down, Lennie," Jacob said.  "I know how hard this is for you."

"It's hard on us all," Lennie replied.  She stared down at the glass between her fingers, focusing on the liquid.   Across from her, Jacob pulled his ball cap off and set it on the table, and ran his fingers through his thick, coarse hair.   Lennie looked up and a ghost of a smile flitted across her face; even his hair pattern was the same as their father's.   Jacob noticed and looked at her curiously.

"What?" he asked with an easy smile.  Lennie shrugged.

"You just look like dad so much," she whispered.  Her throat was constricting with emotion and she blinked rapidly.

"Yeah.  I've always been told that,"  Jacob answered with an easy smile, but after a moment his face grew serious.

"Are you mad at him, Lennie?" Jacob asked point-blank.  Lennie's eyes flew up to meet his, and she found Jacob staring at her intently, needing an answer.

"The truth?" she whispered, and Jacob nodded.  "Truth is, some days I hate him.  I hate him for what he did,  I hate him for lying,  I hate what he did to you and Leon.  I hate that he kept this secret, and I hate what it did to my mom."  She swallowed down the lump that had formed in her throat, and her eyes were burning with tears that wanted to fall. 

"Me, too."  Jacob admitted.  He leaned over and his big, calloused hand took Lennie's much smaller hand in his and held it tightly.  Lennie sniffled and wiped at her face with the back of her free hand.

"I'm sorry," she apologized softly.  

"Don't be," Jacob reassured her as he squeezed her hand gently.  "Nothing to be ashamed of."  He released her hand and sat back against the chair.

"I used to be so jealous of you," he admitted ruefully. 

"What?" Lennie asked him confusedly.

"Yeah.  I hated the fact that you got dad all the time.  Even before I knew you were my sister, I was jealous when you guys would come visit. I always wanted a dad like Leon." 

Lennie was again struck with how hard this must have been on the boys, never having their father except for small periods of time.  Then when they find out he's their dad,  they lose him for good.

"When we found out the truth, I wanted to contact you so many times, but mom wouldn't let me," Jacob explained.  He crossed his arms over his chest as he stared down at the table.

"How long did you know?  When did you find out?"  Lennie leaned forward, elbows on the table as she waited for his answer.

"Well we didn't know for sure til I was about twenty-three.  Right after Leon graduated from high school."  He continued looking down at the table.  "But I think we kinda always knew, you know?"  He looked up at Lennie with a small smile.  "The resemblance.  The way he was with our mom.  I kinda always knew."

Lennie was shaking as she looked down at her hands folded on the table in front of her. 

"It's such a mess," she whispered.  "How could he do this?  To us? To you?"  She looked up and her eyes were blurry with tears.  "How could he do this for so long, and no one knew?"

"Our mom's knew, Lennie.  I think they both knew.  They both loved dad, and he loved them both,  and they just let it be," Jacob explained kindly.  "I think he just didn't want to hurt anyone."

"Well he did!" Lennie hissed bitterly.  She wiped again at her face as a few tears managed to sneak out.  "He did, and it's all fucked up!"

"Lennie. Look, I know you're upset.  I am too.  We can't do anything about it though,"  Jacob leaned forward and tugged on her hand and wrapped his around hers again.  "We can't do anything about what dad did.  All we can do is try to move forward now.  What's done is done, yeah?" 

Lennie looked at him incredulously.  "How can you be so forgiving?  After all he did to you?"

"I'm not doing it for him, Lennie.  I'm doing it for me.  For what's left of our family."  He gestured between the two of them with his other hand. "This is all we've got left.  Dad made mistakes, but they're his mistakes - not ours."

Lennie laughed without humor and looked down at their joined hands resting on the table. 

"Why is it so easy for you and so hard for me?" she asked timidly.  "I have so much anger, and I don't know what to do with it."

Jacob patted their hands with his other hand, and released her again.

"It'll take time, Lennie, but you've gotta give it a chance, yeah?"

Lennie nodded in agreement but didn't say anything.

"So, Cooper's dad isn't around?"  Jacob asked and immediately began apologizing.  "I'm sorry, Lennie.  I am too nosy for my own good."

"No, no.  It's okay,"  Lennie countered quickly.  "It's...complicated." 

"Complicated?" Jacob stared at her with drawn brows, and Lennie could see he had stiffened a bit.  "He's not a jerk, is he?"

Lennie giggled.  "Don't you think it's a little too soon for the overprotective big brother to appear?" she teased him, but Jacob didn't laugh, and Lennie sobered quickly.

"Nope."  He asserted easily.   Lennie wondered just what she had gotten herself into, opening up about Michael with Jacob. 

"Well, let's just say I did a lot of stupid things, and he is very, very mad at me now,"  Lennie hedged. 

"So you're still together then?"

"Uhmm...no.  Actually I don't know what we are at the moment,"  Lennie conceded.  "Can we not talk about this right now?"

"Okay, but you'll tell us if he's giving you problems, yeah?"  Jacob continued.  Lennie shook her head at him and grinned.

"Okay.  Will do."  She stood up and pushed her chair in.  "You know, you're barely older than I am." 

Jacob stood as well, pushed his chair in and pulled his ball cap back on.  "So?"

"So I can take care of myself,"  Lennie admonished him gently.  She would become very fond of him; she could already tell. 

"Yeah but you don't have to,"  Jacob shot back with an easy smile.  "That's what brothers are for, you know." 

Lennie stood in stunned silence, not knowing what to say. 

Just then, Cooper came barreling back in the room,  alligator teeth necklace clanking against his chest.  They decided to go outside, and spent the majority of the afternoon and early evening outside playing with Cooper.   When it was almost 8:00pm,  to Cooper's dismay, Jacob announced that they needed to be getting back to Pierre Part.  They had work, and they didn't want to leave their mother alone for too long.  Jacob and Leon eased Cooper's mind, assuring him that they would come visit him in the next week, and Lennie agreed she and Cooper would make their way down to visit them as well. 

"Don't be a stranger, Lennie," Jacob called through the truck window.  "Give us a call if you need anything, yeah?"

"Okay. Will do," Lennie replied.  She and Cooper watched as they drove away, their tail lights fading in the distance. 

"Let's go take a shower, okay stinky boy?"  Lennie teased Cooper as they walked inside. 

"I like my uncles, Mama,"  Cooper stated with a happy smile. 

"Me too, baby," Lennie replied as as she closed and locked the door behind them.  "Me too."

 

 

 

 

 

 


	23. Chapter 23

The following Monday, Lennie had just dropped Cooper off at daycare when her phone rang. Not bothering to look at it, she answered it.

“Hello?” she looked over her shoulder as she backed her truck out of the parking lot, her phone held between her ear and shoulder.

“You got time to talk?” Michael’s voice came over the line, nearly causing Lennie to drop the phone. She hadn’t heard from him in so long.  She pulled into the parking lot next to the preschool as her heart started beating rapidly in her chest.

“Uhm…yeah. Hold on a minute.” She fully parked and took a deep breath.  She held the phone back up to her ear with a shaky hand. “What’s up?”

“I want to come get Cooper for my visitation this weekend.”

“This weekend?” Lennie squeaked out. She and Cooper had planned to go down and visit her brothers.

“Yes. Is that a problem?” Michael’s voice was hard, and Lennie shivered at how cold he came across over the line.

“Well…we had made plans…but...” Lennie stammered.

“It’s my time. You’ll have to cancel your plans,” Michael stated calmly.  Lennie closed her eyes in annoyance, and a little bit of sadness.  So here they were, splitting custody…

“Michael, I'm sorry.  Can we talk?"  she asked him hopefully.

Michael snorted over the phone derisively. “Oh, you wanna talk now? When it interferes with your plans, right?”

“That’s not what I mean,” Lennie bit out through clenched teeth. “I would never keep him from you.”

“That’s a joke, right?” Michael laughed sarcastically. “Because you did, remember?  For nearly four years now.”

“I know and _I am_ sorry,” Lennie tried to apologize, but Michael cut her off.

“Save it,” he interrupted her. “I’ll be there this Friday by 2:00pm.  Please have his things ready.”

Lennie sat in stunned silence as she realized he’d hung up on her.  She was pissed, and she was sad, and she was frustrated. Her cheeks were heated with anger, and she swiped at hot tears as they rolled down her cheeks.  She had half a nerve to call him back and give him a piece of her mind, but she knew she was legally compelled to comply with the court order for visitation. She couldn’t just say no, even if she wanted to. She dropped her head back against the head-rest and pinched the bridge of her nose.

The truth was, she didn’t want to say no.  She wanted Cooper to spend time with his father; she knew it was for the best, and it was the right thing to do.  She also knew she wanted to spend time with Michael.  She wanted to give their relationship a go.  She had been so stupid, and so hard-headed in New York.  Only after talking to Jacob had she realized just how pig-headed she’d been.  Now it seemed like it was too late.

* * *

 

Friday rolled around and despite trying her best to dissuade him, Jacob had come down to see Cooper.  He was upset and Cooper was upset that they weren’t going to get to go fishing like they’d planned, so his uncle decided to come visit him - despite Lennie trying to persuade him that it was a bad idea.  She had no idea what would happen when Michael got here, and she knew Jacob could tell that she was upset about the change in plans.  She was sitting at the kitchen table, watching Cooper and Jacob out back, when the doorbell rang. She quickly walked over and opened to the door to find a very aggravated Michael standing there.

“Am I interrupting?” he sarcastically asked as he looked over his shoulder at Jacob’s truck parked next to hers.  Lennie glared at him. This would be a fun visit.

“Come in. Cooper’s out back,” she replied, ignoring his previous question.  Michael followed behind her, unnerving her with his close presence.  When they got to the kitchen, he walked over to the window and looked out back. His brow furrowed as he saw his son playing football with another man.

“Who’s he?” Michael asked calmly, but she could see had bristled like a pissed-off cat. The only thing missing was the angry, twitching tail.

“He is my brother, Michael,” Lennie huffed out. 

“Your brother?” Michael turned to her, an eyebrow raised curiously. “You never told me you had a brother.”

“Yeah, well there’s a lot you don’t know about me,” she replied evenly. “Come on. Let’s go get Cooper.” She walked to the back door and opened it, motioning for him to go outside.

“Cooper!” Lennie called to her son, and both he and Jacob turned around.  Seeing Michael, Jacob appeared to stiffen too, to stand a little taller than his already intimidating 6’ft.  He dusted off his jeans and followed Cooper over to Lennie and the stranger.  Cooper launched himself at Michael, and giggled as Michael tickled him and flipped him over his shoulder.

“Michael, this is my brother Jacob.  Jacob, this is Michael,” Lennie introduced the two men. They stared at each other for a few moments, and Lennie inwardly groaned. 

Whereas Michael had been an angry cat, Jacob appeared to be an even angrier dog.  Michael’s cold, blue eyes met Jacob’s serious brown eyes; all they needed to do was start chasing each other around the yard.  The two men were of similar height, but Michael was all-lean muscles, and broad shoulders; Jacob was stockier, thicker through the waist and arms, and heavier.

“Michael! Mama said I’m coming with you for a few days?” Cooper asked innocently as he tugged on his hand from below.  Michael tore his eyes away from Jacob, and looked down, his features softening as he looked his son.

“That’s right. You ready?” Michael asked, and Cooper nodded.

“I’m gonna go get my stuff!” He released Michael’s hand and ran off back to the house and slammed the door behind him.  The three adults stood there nervously, with Lennie right in the middle.  She glanced between the two of them and fidgeted with her fingers.  It was like testosterone was dripping off the two men.

“So, I’m Jacob.” Jacob held his hand out, and Michael reluctantly took it.

“Michael.” They shook briefly, and when it was over both shoved their hands in their pockets as they regarded each other carefully.

“What you got planned this weekend, Michael?” Jacob asked, and Michael arched an eyebrow at him before responding.  Jacob’s accent was incredibly thick right now.

“I don’t know. Whatever we decide to do I guess,” Michael replied coolly.  Lennie groaned inwardly again. It was like a pissing contest.

“He wanted to go fishing,” Jacob informed Michael with a humorless smile.

“Well maybe we’ll do that,” Michael answered with a likewise humorless smile.

“You do much fishing, Michael?” Jacob asked, and Lennie looked up at him angrily.  Jacob ignored her.  Michael looked down at Lennie, and spoke in a very controlled voice.

“Can I talk with you, Lennie?” He glanced up at Jacob. “In private, preferably.”

“Uhm…yeah…sure,” Lennie agreed.  She held a hand up to Jacob, halting him before he got started.

“I’ll be back.  Can you go in and keep Cooper occupied so I can speak to Michael?” Jacob looked between her and Michael.

“Jacob! Just go, alright?” Lennie exclaimed in exasperation.  These two idiots were giving her a headache. 

Jacob nodded and with one last pointed look at Michael, walked away and back into the house. She turned to look at Michael, and she blanched under his angry stare.

“What the fuck, Lennie?” Michael gritted out.

“I’m sorry,” Lennie apologized weakly. “He’s very….stubborn…I guess. I didn’t know he would behave that way.  He’s usually very nice.”

“What did you tell him?” Michael moved forward and looked down at her. “You told him I was some asshole didn’t you?” He sneered down at her, but Lennie lifted her chin and glared back at him.

“No. If you must know, I told him I was the one who fucked everything up.”

Michael, taken aback, stared at her for a few moments and then looked away.

“Does he know everything?” he asked calmly as he stared out over the area where the pool would one day be.

“No.  Honestly, I only just met him and my other brother a little over a week ago.”

Michael turned to look at her in confusion. “A week?”

Lennie waved him off with her hand before he went any further.  She couldn’t do this right now..

“It’s a crazy story, Michael. I don’t even know the half of it yet,” she mumbled to the ground.

“Keeping more secrets, right?” Michael asked her calmly, and Lennie’s head jerked up to look at him.  That hurt her, and he knew it, and he immediately regretted it.  He was such an asshole.

“I don’t even really know, Michael. It’s not the same thing,” she said sadly. She shrugged her shoulders. “It’s just not the same thing.”

“Well, whatever it is, I hope it works out for you, Lennie,” Michael’s voice had grown deeper as he spoke to her. “If you…uh…need anything, you’ll let me know, right?”

“Yeah, sure,” Lennie mumbled. 

What she needed was him. She needed to talk to him, to explain to him, to make him understand her.  She needed to not be without Cooper.  She needed Michael to wrap his arms around her like before.  She needed to fix things, to make things right. 

Instead she looked out over the back yard, and bit the inside of her cheek to keep from crying.

“Lennie?” Michael’s voice was gentler now, and Lennie swallowed the lump in her throat. “Lennie? Are you okay?”

Lennie started tapping her foot in agitation, in an effort to not cry, but it was no use.  She turned her head far to the side and wiped at her eyes where the tears were furiously beading. Michael walked up behind her but did not touch her.

“I don’t know what to do, Lennie.” His voice was heavy with regret and indecision, and Lennie felt the first wave of tears flow down her cheeks. She sniffled, the sound too loud in the quiet between them. When she felt Michael’s arms wrap around her, she completely broke down and started bawling. He turned her and cupped her cheek against his chest as she cried. Looking over the top of her head, he saw Jacob open the back door and start to step outside, but Michael held up a hand to wave him off. The other man nodded, and stepped back inside and closed the door, but Michael could see he was discreetly peeking through the curtains.

“What the fuck is going on?” Michael whispered against the top of her head as he held her close. Lennie snuggled into his chest, relishing the feel of him against her, if only for a few moments.

“It’s okay, Michael,” Lennie whispered. She pushed back from him and stepped out of his arms. She wiped at her face again, but couldn’t meet his eyes. “You should probably go if you’re gonna take Cooper.” Her voice broke as she said her son’s name.

“Lennie,” Michael began but she interrupted him.

“Just please go.  If you’re going to take him, just go.  Let’s just get it over with, okay?” Her voice was trembling.  She wiped her face again and started walking, with Michael following close behind her and into the house.  Lennie walked to the bathroom without a word, walking past Jacob who was staring at her and now glaring at Michael.

“What did you do to her?” Jacob asked after Lennie had closed the bathroom door. Michael turned to stare at the man, his anger rising at the insinuation that he’d done something wrong.

“I think you should ask your sister what’s going on,” he replied calmly.  Jacob took a step forward.

“I asked you.”

“You need to back up, man,” Michael said again in a deadly calm voice.

“Or what?” Jacob challenged.  The two men were staring at each other, nearly eye to eye, when Lennie came back out into the living room.

“Oh my god! Just stop!” She pushed her way in-between them, one hand on each hard chest as she pushed them apart. “Jacob. Please go, okay?” She looked up at her brother.

“But-”

“No.  Just go.  Please.” Lennie repeated forcefully. “I’ll call you tomorrow.”

Her brother stared at her for a few seconds before finally conceding to her request. He unenthusiastically grabbed his keys off the kitchen counter and pulled his ball cap down low.

“Call me, Lennie,” he ordered her softly and Lennie glared at him for being so bossy.  Who did these two idiots think they were?

“Go!” she stated again.

Michael glared at Jacob as he walked by them both, and Jacob glared right back.

“Nice to meet you, mate,” Michael called out sarcastically.  Jacob hesitated at the door, but walked out without a word.  Lennie glared at Michael.

“You are such an asshole!”

“What?” Michael asked innocently.

“If you’re going to take Cooper, you need to do it,” Lennie grouched.

“Do you want me to take him?” Michael asked her, and Lennie looked up at him in confusion.

“It’s your weekend, Michael. I don’t have a choice,” she replied in defeat.  Michael stepped closer to her, and Lennie looked down at his shoes.

“I can stay here with him, or you can come with us to my place,” he offered softly.  Lennie looked up at him again, not believing her ears.

“What?”

Michael moved a little closer, and reached down and lifted her chin with his fingertip, forcing her to look up at him.

“I’m ready to talk, Lennie.  If you still are, I’m ready.” His blue eyes were gentle, and he smiled a little as he looked down at her.

“I am too,” she breathed out.  Clearly she was dreaming…

“So stay here or go to my place?”

“Whatever you want to do, Michael.”

“How about I take Cooper with me for a few hours, we run back to my place, and get my things, and then we come back? I am not sure he’s ready to spend the night somewhere else.” Michael’s voice grew serious and he stepped back from her and watched her with guarded eyes. “I want to tell him, Lennie. Before this goes any further, I want him to know who I really am.”

“I do too. I don’t want to hide anything anymore,” Lennie quickly agreed.  She was met with shock, and then one of Michael’s signature smiles, and she felt her knees go weak. She smiled back at him shyly, and she could feel the blush spread across her cheeks.

“Come ‘ere,” he crooked a finger at her, beckoning her to come to him.  She complied, and hesitantly moved closer.  Michael reached out and pulled her into his arms, crushing her against his chest.  She gingerly wrapped her arms around him, delighting again at being so close.

“We’re gonna fix this, right?” Michael murmured against the top of head.

“I hope so,” Lennie nodded in agreement, and Michael tightened his arms around her.

“We will,” he stated confidently, and Lennie smiled into his chest.  She was so damn happy!

“Ewww!” Cooper squealed as he came into the room, catching his parents off-guard. Lennie hastily moved out of Michael’s arms, and smoothed her clothing.  Michael laughed as he scooped up Cooper and flipped him over his shoulder again, his fingers tickling his little legs as Cooper squealed with delight.  Lennie could not control the smile that was on her face as she watched Cooper and Michael together.  She sighed deeply, the tension seeming to lessen by the second.  Maybe things were finally heading in the right direction.

* * *

 

**More inspiration pics of the brothers and daddy too :-)**

 

 

 

**And a not-too-happy Fassy pic:**

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 


	24. Chapter 24

Later that evening, Michael was finishing up with Cooper in the bathroom. He had offered to give Cooper his bath, and Lennie didn’t know what to do with herself; having help with Cooper in the evenings was a novelty. She waffled between hovering around the bathroom door and busying herself cleaning. She was wiping down the counter tops when Cooper, freshly cleaned and dressed for bed, came barreling into the kitchen. He wrapped himself around her legs, and Lennie dropped the paper towel to lift him up into a hug.

“You smell good,” she said as she nuzzled his neck.  The stinky boy smell was gone, at least for another day.

“I smell like a man, right?” Cooper grinned at her. “Michael said I smell like a man, now!”

“Yes, baby. You smell like a very clean man.  Where’s Michael anyway?” Lennie asked as she set her son back on his feet on the floor.  She picked up the paper towel and started cleaning again.  This counter top was the cleanest it had ever been. 

“In the bathroom. Did you know he is going to watch Guardians of the Galaxy with me again?” Cooper asked, his big blue eyes sparkling as he looked up at his mother.

“He is?” she asked him with an arched brow. “You know it’s past your bedtime, right?”

“Please! Please mama!” Cooper whined.  Michael appeared in the doorway, and Lennie faltered for just a second.  His shirt was wet in places from giving Cooper a bath; he had an unhurried air about him and an easy smile in place.  Having him here, bathing Cooper, and all, was just too normal.  It was all just surreal.

“Hey bud, whatever your mum says okay?” He walked over and scooped up Cooper and placed him behind his head on his shoulders.

“What do you say, mum?” Michael asked her with the grin still in place. How the hell could she say no to that?  She nodded in consent.

“Uhm…yeah…whatever you want to do,” she stammered out. Michael winked at her, grin still in place, and she nearly dropped the bottle of kitchen cleaner she was holding. She felt her cheeks flame in embarrassment, and she abruptly turned around and began cleaning the already clean counter top.

“We’re going to watch the movie, Lennie.  Come join us if you want,” Michael laughed as he walked out of the room.  Lennie shook her head at herself and finished cleaning the kitchen.

That bastard was going to be the death of her.

* * *

 

“Yes, Jacob… I know… I’m fine, I promise,” Lennie spoke into the phone in aggravation.  Michael walked in the living room and raised a sardonic eyebrow, but didn’t speak. He pretended to be looking at photos on the wall while Lennie talked with her brother.

“Yes…He’s sleeping already,” Lennie continued. “He’s still here. Yes.  I will….I promise….Okay. Okay! Bye.” Lennie hung up the phone in exasperation, and Michael turned to her with a smile.

“Your bodyguard checking up on you?” he teased her.  Lennie shook her head at him in warning, and he held his hands up in surrender.

“Well, he’s out,” Michael plopped down on the couch beside Lennie.  Lennie stiffened at his close proximity, but didn’t move. “What you reading there?” He leaned closer to look at the book in her hands. Lennie hastily closed the book, and shook her head.

“Silly stuff.  Psychotherapy stuff.  Nothing really.” God! She sounded like a blubbering idiot!!

“Do you mind if I take a shower?” Michael asked. “I was going to at my place, but didn’t want to leave Cooper alone in the house.”

“Oh I do it all the time,” Lennie blurted out.  She immediately closed her eyes and shook her head again at herself. “I mean, I take showers with him in the house, and he’s okay. I don’t…I mean I don’t leave him….I just…” she was stammering again and Michael chuckled.

“You don’t have a choice, Lennie.  I understand what you’re saying, though.  Maybe when I get to know him better, but for right now I’d rather not.”

“Well the guest shower is right past your room, and there should be plenty of towels and I think there’s body wash, but if not just tell me and I’ll get you some. There should be washcloths and stuff, too, and maybe a toothbrush. Did you bring a toothbrush? There might be one under the sink or in the closet, but-”

Michael leaned over and placed a hand playfully over her mouth, effectively silencing her.

“Stop, Lennie. I’ve got everything I need. You can relax, okay?” Michael teased her.  Lennie relaxed and Michael dropped his hand. “You’re nervous?”

“Yes,” she admitted freely. “Are you?”

“Yes,” he also admitted. He looked up at Lennie, his face serious now. “Let’s talk later, okay? I don’t want there to be any pressure on either of us to sort of, rush into things, you know? Let’s just play it by ear.”'

 

Lennie breathed a sigh of relief and nodded gratefully. “Thank you.”

Michael grinned at her again, and stood up. “I’m going to get a shower.”

“Yeah, me too,” Lennie stood as well. “See you in the morning?” she looked up at him shyly.  Michael stared down at her, his face impassive, and nodded.

“In the morning.  Good night, Lennie.”

“Good night, Michael,” she whispered.  She watched as he walked away, her heart still pounding rapidly in her chest.  When he shut the door to the guest room, she checked on Cooper, and turned off all the lights and headed to her room.  She knew she wouldn't be sleeping tonight. 

 

 

 

 


	25. Chapter 25

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ed Sheeran "Make It Rain"
> 
> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VN8yxm14ZUk
> 
> When the sins of my father, way down in my soul...  
> And the pain of my mother, will not let me go.
> 
> This song was instrumental in writing this chapter. Damn gingers get you every time.

She couldn’t sleep.  There was too much going on in her head, and knowing Michael was right down the hall was driving her insane. She sat up in frustration, flung the covers off her, and rolled out of bed. It was after 1am. Damnit. She walked out of her room and slowly made her way to the kitchen. When she rounded the corner, she was shocked to see Michael standing in front of the fridge, wearing nothing but a pair of sleep pants that were doing their best to cling to his hips. Lennie watched in amazement as he pulled out the carton of milk and opened it and took a drink – right from the carton. Lennie couldn’t hold her laugh in, though she tried with a hand over her mouth.  Michael turned, carton still against his lips and lowered it.

“Well, fuck me. Caught red-handed,” he grinned sheepishly.  He closed the carton and placed it on the counter and turned to Lennie. “Sorry about that. I’m starving, and I couldn’t sleep. I’ll get you more milk, Lennie.”

She walked past him to the fridge.

“Don’t worry about it. You want me to make you a sandwich or something?” She turned and asked him,  but she couldn't meet his eyes.  She was nervous as hell, and she didn't want him to see it.  Michael sat down at the island on one of the bar stools, milk carton in hand.

“That’d be great, Lennie,” he smiled at her and Lennie turned around quickly.  She didn’t want him to see the effect his smile had on her. She didn't want to think about the way his eyes followed her.  She felt like she was prey that was being toyed with, her every move being watched, and he was waiting for the perfect moment to strike.   Thank god she was wearing normal sleeping clothes.  She already felt like he was undressing her with his eyes; at least she had on long pants and a long sleeve shirt to sleep in. 

She finished their sandwiches and they ate in silence, an uncomfortable silence for Lennie, but Michael seemed perfectly fine.  Neither spoke, and the time dragged on.  When she finished, she stood and carried her plate to the sink to wash it. She was just finishing hers when Michael walked up behind her.  She stiffened as he reached around her and ran his plate under the water. He set it in the sink and then began washing his hands.  All the while, Lennie stood between him and the sink, his arms reaching around both sides.

“Hands are dirty,” his voice was husky against her ear, and Lennie closed her eyes as her heart started pumping fast in her chest. Michael nuzzled her ear just barely, and she felt her body come alive, the dormant but still somehow familiar tingles shooting out everywhere. She barely noticed him turning the water off, so wrapped up she was in the feeling of his mouth at her neck. He leaned against her, his chest pressed to her back, and grasped her hands with his.

“It’s been a long time since we were this close, Lennie,” he murmured against her skin.  Lennie felt herself arching against him, giving him better access to her neck. Michael wrapped his arms around her, pulling her back against his body, and she felt just how much he had missed her.

“Come with me?” Michael kissed along the column of her neck, his beard tickling and chafing her sensitive skin. He turned her around in his arms, and stared down at her. Lennie rested her palms against his chest, but she could not meet his eyes.

“Lennie?” Michael’s voice was hoarse with need, and Lennie finally looked up at him. He was staring down at her, his brows drawn together as he waited. “Come with me.”

“Okay,” she whispered. 

Michael grabbed her hand and pulled her down the hallway with him to the guest room. He closed the door behind them and locked it, and instantly pulled Lennie back into his arms.  He kissed her, and Lennie could taste the milk on his lips still.  Michael pushed them back towards the bed, and both were pulling at clothes as they went along.  Michael pulled her clothes off with record speed, and he may have ripped her panties as he pulled them from her hips.  Lennie lay back on the bed and watched him from under her lashes,  her breath already coming in short pants as she nibbled her lower lip.  He dropped his pants and his erection sprang free, hot and hard and ready.  He crawled over the bed and over Lennie,  taking her with him  with a hand at the small of her back as he scooted them up to the center of the bed.  He kissed down her body, paying close attention to the rosy tips of her breasts that were already tautly pebbled.  She squirmed underneath him, her fingers and nails scratching and pulling at him.  Michael kissed her once more on her hip and crawled back up her body.  Neither one was going to last long, and they knew it. He pushed her already-shaking legs apart and settled in between them.

“Do you want this, Lennie?” Michael stared down at her, his breathing ragged as he held himself back. Lennie’s legs were trembling as she nodded up at him, and he could feel the wetness as she rubbed herself against him.  He gritted his teeth at the sensation her hot, wet heat had on his cock;  he was already twitching in need and he'd barely touched her.

"Yes, Michael....please," she whimpered as she closed her eyes and ground against him, earning another groan from him.  She wanted this more than anything in the world.  More than sex, she wanted to be close to Michael, to feel that connection that they shared.  Michael leaned down and pressed his chest against hers, bracing himself with one arm as he positioned himself at her entrance. He leaned his forehead against hers, and his eyes were locked on hers as he pushed slowly in. Lennie bit her lower lip as he pushed in further, filling her up until she couldn’t possibly take anymore, but then pushing in even further. She arched against him,  pressing her body into his as she pressed her head back into the mattress.  It was long, and slow, and tortuous, and neither one wanted it to end any time soon. Michael rested on his forearms, and rubbed his forehead against hers as he tried to regain some semblance of control. Lennie brought her hands up and cupped his cheeks, and nuzzled his nose as she brought her lips to his. She tentatively kissed him, and Michael kissed her back, his lips claiming hers as his body claimed hers. He thrust into her, earning a gasp from Lennie that was silenced by his mouth on hers. He reached down and pulled her leg up and over his hip, forcing them even closer, and he thrust again, progressively harder, as Lennie whimpered against him.

“Michael,” she tore her mouth away from his as she wrapped her arms around him, and held him tight.  He braced himself above her with one arm, while the other arm picked her up off the bed. He leaned back on his heels and pulled her up on top of him. He seated her again, helping her slide down him, and both groaned at the feeling of fullness.  She was so tight around, so warm, and so fucking wet. 

“I miss you, Lennie,” he murmured against her lips as he thrust up into her. “So much.”

He wrapped his arms around her tightly. She was flush against him, her legs wrapped around his waist and resting at his lower back. They were joined together tightly, and Michael continued slowly thrusting up into her, each breath punctuated by another hard jab of his cock into her warm heat.

“Oh god,” she moaned. She was so wet, and he was so hot, and she could feel so intimately each and every inch of him as he pushed up into her. She grasped his shoulders, feeling the muscles as they bunched under her fingers. Michael’s lips were at her throat, his teeth nipping and biting. His tongue flicked out every so often to follow, soothing the marks he was leaving behind. She was slipping off into that place where she lost control, where she felt nothing but pleasure. With every thrust of his hips, she was spiraling further and further down.

“Come for me, Lennie,” he growled against the base of her throat.  Lennie's head snapped back and dug her fingernails into his chest as her body began shaking, and her toes curled at his back.  She pushed up off him, legs trembling in need as her body arched in her orgasm.  She trembled uncontrollably against him,  her body bowed in his hands as she jerked and shuddered against him.

“Fuck!” Michael groaned as her body spasmed around him, and he held her tight to him as he too came, the tightness and convulsing of her body sending him over the edge. His body pumped into her over and over, and he gripped her shoulders tightly as he held her to him.  Lennie was clawing at his back and shoulders, trying to escape and trying to get closer – all at the same time, and Michael held her closer still as he thrust once more up into her, spilling every last bit that he had.  Lennie collapsed on top of him – shivering, trembling, and completely spent. Her head dropped on his shoulder lazily, and her hands still gripped his shoulders weakly.  He rolled them over on their sides, and they were still joined as the lay next to each other. Lennie had one leg haphazardly thrown over Michael's hip, and he languidly ran his fingers up and down her thigh as he stared at her.

He was delighted to see he had indeed done his job well. She looked well and truly fucked.  Her lips were swollen, her cheeks flushed, and she was still panting and trying to catch her breath. He pushed a damp tendril of hair off her forehead, and her eyelids fluttered open to find him staring at her.  She smiled tiredly, and Michael thought she had never looked more adorable than she did now.

“Hey, baby,” Michael pulled her hand up for a tender kiss on the knuckles.

“Hey,” Lennie murmured faintly.

She stared at Michael for a few moments,  and he chuckled as her eyes crossed with her effort to stay awake.  Sleep finally won out.   With a satisfied smile, he watched as her breathing evened out, and her hand fell from where it had been loosely clutching his waist. He gently moved her leg off of him and pulled out of her, and got out of bed. Walking to the guest bathroom, he quickly grabbed a rag and cleaned her as best as possible without waking her, and then cleaned himself up before joining her back in the bed. He snuggled in behind her, and pulled her to him, pressing her body flush against his. He wrapped his arm around her, and the last thing he remembered thinking before he fell asleep was how right this felt. How perfect it felt to be wrapped around her again. He felt like he was home.


	26. Chapter 26

_“Mama!”_

_“Mama!”_

Lennie slowly woke, that voice still faintly calling in her ear.   For a minute she thought she was dreaming, but then she realized where she was and who was laying next to her.  She picked up a heavy arm that was draped across her waist, and attempted to push Michael off her.  His head was resting on her bare chest, his hand curled up and around her breast. 

“Mama?” The doorknob jiggled to Michael’s room and Lennie cringed when she realized that Cooper was standing outside the door looking for her.  God! What time was it?  She slid out from under Michael and slid off the bed, landing on the floor with a hard thump.

“Mama?!” Cooper was beginning to get frantic; she could hear it in his voice.

“Michael!” she hissed as she grabbed his arm.  He slowly opened his eyes and looked down at her on the floor.

“What are you doing down there, luv?” He asked her sleepily. 

Another forceful knock on the door, and Lennie could hear Cooper crying now.  Michael looked at Lennie with wide eyes.

“Go get him, Michael!” she practically yelled at him. Finally realizing what was going on, Michael hopped off the bed and pulled his pants on.

“Hold on, Cooper. I’m coming,” he called out to the child that was now banging on the door. Michael quickly walked to the door and opened it and slipped outside, allowing Lennie to get dressed.  She heard muffled sounds coming from the other side of the door as she hastily got dressed. When she was done, she walked out of the guest room and found Michael with Cooper in the kitchen.  Cooper was sitting on the counter top and Michael was standing before him.  It was clear that Cooper had been crying and Lennie rushed to him.  Michael stepped out of the way and Lennie pulled Cooper in for a hug.

“It’s okay, baby,” she murmured against his hair.  Cooper was still sniffling a bit, and Lennie’s heart broke anew. She felt like the worst mother ever.

“Where were you?” Cooper asked her as she carried him across the kitchen and into the living room.  She sat down on the couch and held him in her lap.

“I was helping….uhm…” Lennie, at a loss for words,  stammered.  Michael plopped down on the couch next to them and grabbed Cooper’s  bare toes, causing him to giggle despite his tears.

“I fell off my bed and your mum had to come help me,” Michael answered slyly, and Cooper burst into giggles. Lennie looked over the top of her son’s head to Michael, and smiled at him in gratefulness.  He winked back at her.

“You fell off your bed?” Cooper giggled again and Michael tickled the bottom of his feet.  Cooper wiggled on Lennie’s lap, and eventually slid off her legs.

“Right on my bum,” Michael nodded in all seriousness.

“What’s a bum?” Cooper asked inquisitively.  He looked so earnest, and both Michael and Lennie burst out laughing.

“Michael’s a bum, baby,” Lennie looked at Michael out of the corner of her eye, and he clutched at his heart in mock anguish as Cooper looked between the two of them happily.

“You wound me, luv.  Truly,” he frowned and pretended to cry, and Cooper continued giggling.  He covered his little mouth with one hand and pointed at Lennie with the other.

“He called you a love!  And you called him a bum!” Cooper crowed as he turned to Michael.  Michael narrowed his eyes and leapt off the couch and scooped up Cooper.  He tickled Cooper on his stomach and around his neck and below his chin before picking him up.  He carried him to the other couch and dropped him playfully in a mock body-slam.   Lennie watched as Cooper jumped back up and launched himself at Michael, who again picked him up and dropped him on the couch.

“I’m gonna go make some breakfast,” Lennie called to the two boys.

“Okay!” Cooper yelled as he tackled Michael again.  Laughing, Michael flipped him upside down and held him by his ankle as Cooper giggled and clutched at his legs. Michael caught Lennie’s eye as she turned to walk away and he winked, and again Lennie felt the heat pass unspoken between the two of them.  She could feel the faint blush spread across her cheeks, the wetness pooling between her legs as her body came alive under his gaze.   With a smug, knowing grin, he turned his attentions back to their son.  Lennie rushed out of the living and into the kitchen, and set about making breakfast.   That man was going to drive her insane.

* * *

 

They ate, and played, and played some more, and by mid-afternoon, Cooper had fallen asleep on Michael’s lap as they watched cartoons in the living room.  Lennie was working on some case notes in the den when she felt Michael come up behind her. She gasped as he pushed her hair aside and kissed along her neck.

“Where’s….where is…where’s Cooper?” she whispered as she clutched the arms of the chair she was sitting in.

“Asleep on the couch,” Michael murmured against the crook of her neck. “We should go take a nap too, yeah?”

“I don’t think you wanna sleep, Michael,” Lennie barely contained her moan as his fingers traveled up and down her arms. He turned her chair around and pulled her up, his hands at her ass as he pulled her into him.

“I don’t think you do either, luv,” he nipped along her jaw and back around her ear. “My room or yours?”

“Yours,” she whispered weakly.

She followed him quietly back to his room, and not for the first time did she feel like a teenager sneaking around in her parent’s house. Michael pulled them inside and closed and locked the door. He turned and walked slowly towards her. Lennie stood by the bed, and bowed her head as she waited for Michael. She was so embarrassed and she had no idea why. Maybe it was the fact that they were going to make love in the middle of the day? Maybe it was the fact that they hadn’t spoken about their problems yet? She had no idea what was going on, and all she could think about was Michael putting his hands on her again and how much she wanted that and how much it was terrifying her – all at the same time. He stopped before her and cupped her cheeks gently, forcing her to look up at him.

“What’s wrong, sweetheart?” he asked her softly. Lennie shrugged in response, and like an idiot she felt the tears welling up in her eyes. Michael pulled her to him and wrapped his arms around her, holding her close to him. “Talk to me Lennie.”

“I don’t know what’s wrong,” she whispered against his chest. He moved them over to the bed and sat down, pulling her in between his legs and stared up at her.

“Things are good, right?” he asked her. His blue eyes searched her face. Lennie smiled a wobbly smile and placed her palms on his scruffy cheeks.

“I think they’re good,” she agreed.

“Then what’s wrong?”  His brows furrowed as he stared up at her.

“I don’t know. I’m scared,” she shrugged again, and closed her eyes as she lifted her chin to the ceiling in an effort to not cry.

Michael pulled her down on top of him, forcing her to straddle him.  He wrapped her legs around his waist and pulled her to him.  Lennie felt her body react immediately; it was hard to concentrate in this position.

“Stop over-thinking things, luv,” Michael implored her.

“I’m trying,” she mumbled.

“Try harder, Lennie,” Michael urged her gently. “Just let it happen, okay?  This thing between us, just let it happen.” Michael clutched at her back and lifted her up for a kiss, and Lennie could feel his growing erection pressed into her core. 

She squirmed against him, tossing aside her fears and doubts as she let her body take over.  Michael reached down and lifted her shirt at the hem and pulled it over her head. He made quick work of her bra, and Lennie arched her back as he took the heavy weight of her breast into his hand.  He brought his mouth down and took one taut nipple in between his lips, suckling it and pulling the peak into a hard pebble.

“God, Michael!” Lennie groaned as she dug her fingers into his scalp to hold him to her.

“You’re amazing, sweetheart,” he murmured at her breast. "So fuckin' sexy."  He moved to the other breast, giving it the same attention as he did the other. He had his free hand at the small of her back and Lennie bent backwards over it to give him better access as he pulled her to him. 

“Uhmmm...” Lennie groaned as she ground herself against him.  Michael groaned as well and lay back, pulling Lennie on top of him.  He laced his fingers with hers and pulled her taut over his body, spreading her arms out the side and pressing her breasts flat against his bare chest.  His chest hairs chafed her already sensitive nipples, and Michael groaned again as Lennie rubbed herself up and down his body as best as she could to soothe the ache between her thighs.  She wriggled one hand free from him and trailed it down his waist to the edge of his pants.  He hissed as she pushed it between them and past the boxers he was wearing, and wrapped her fingers around his painfully-hard erection.

“Lennie,” Michael growled a warning as she stroked his hard length, from the tip all the way down to his balls that were already twitching at her slight touch.  Her hands were small and delicate, and the way they were sliding over his skin was driving him insane.  He pushed himself into her hand, groaning as she wrapped her fingers around him and slid her hand up and down his shaft.   Just when he felt like was going to come in her hands,  Lennie released him and dragged her hand back up to the waist of his boxers and pushed, lowering them as she pushed them past his cock.  Michael brought his hands to her waist and pushed her sleep pants down as well, along with her panties. 

When they were both fully nude, Lennie pushed up off his chest with one hand and placed him at her entrance.  Michael watched from under eyelids heavy with lust as she lowered herself down on top of him. She had her eyes closed, and she bit her lower lip in concentration as she slid down his hard length.  They both let out the breath they had been holding when she was fully seated on him, and her legs trembled at his sides with need.  Michael gripped her thighs as she began to grind against him.  Her eyes were still closed, and he watched with awe as she rode him.  She used one hand at his waist to push up, lifting herself so that she could slide back down.  Finding a rhythm,  Michael would push at her thighs as she lifted off him, and he would then pull her down as he thrust into her.  Over and over again, his hips snapped back and forth as he pressed himself into her moist heat.  He reached down and placed his thumb in between her folds, and Lennie's eyes flew open in shock.  Michael was watching the area between her legs, watching as his thumb rubbed her sensitive numb into a wet hardness.   With a wanton gasp, Lennie swiveled her hips against him, delighting in the feeling of him being inside her and having his fingers play with her sensitive clit.  She reached down and grabbed Michael's free hand and brought it to her breast, encouraging him to touch her.  She threw her head back when he palmed her fully.

"Oh god.....god....Mich-" she moaned as she bounced up and down on him.  She could feel her body coiling like a spring, winding tighter and tighter as Michael carried them to the edge.  He thrust up into her forcefully, his stiff cock snapping her hold on reality as he sent her over the edge.  She cried out and dug her nails into his thighs as she climaxed,  her insides convulsing as she gripped him tightly.  Michael released her breast and held her firmly by her hips as he slammed his hips up into her.  Each throaty breath was punctuated by a sharp thrust, and he cried her name in a guttural growl as he too came.

"Fuck, Lennie!" he pushed himself up into her and held her tightly to him as he jerked inside her.  He could still feel her gripping him tightly from the inside, her body quivering as he shuddered underneath her. Lennie collapsed on top of him, her body limp and sweaty.  Michael gathered her to his chest, and wrapped his arms around her.  Both of their hearts were pounding, and they were just barely beginning to catch their breaths.  Michael kissed her on top of her head softly, and in the stillness he was just vaguely aware that her thighs were still trembling as they lay on either side of his.

"You're gonna fuckin' kill me, Lennie," he murmured with a smile.  Lennie shifted and brought both her hands up to her chest and clutched them under her chin.

"I think you'll kill me first, Fassbender."  She kissed his chest lightly and lay back down, content to just be held in his arms.  She was so relaxed, and her body felt like she'd just run a marathon.  She sighed in contentment and nuzzled in deeper against his neck.  

"I could stay here all day," she confessed sleepily.  Michael chuckled underneath her as his hands traced up and down her bare back.

"Me too, sweetheart."  If he had his way they'd never leave this bed.  Ever.


	27. Chapter 27

“We gotta get up,” Lennie groaned against Michael’s chest.  She knew Cooper wouldn’t sleep much longer. She was surprised that he’d slept this long if she were to be honest.  Playing with Michael was obviously wearing him out. She snuggled in against Michael’s chest, trying to enjoy the last few minutes of him that she could, and he wrapped his arm around her and pulled her tighter to him.

“Why didn’t you tell me?”

Lennie stiffened at his words, and Michael tightened his grip on her hip where he was holding her to him.

“Just tell me, Lennie.  Help me understand,” he continued gently. “I don’t want to fight, and I don’t want to argue. I just want to know why.”

“I don’t know why,” she blurted out, but immediately regretted the words.

“That’s bullshit.” He didn’t believe her. 

She could feel the tenseness of his body; she knew he was getting aggravated.  It was time to tell the truth, no matter what happened.

“I thought you would take him from me,” she finally answered honestly, and Michael’s grip loosened a bit.

“Why would you think me that way?” he quietly asked her and Lennie shrugged against him. She had no answer for that.

“I don’t know, Michael. I just assumed you would.  I wanted to call you many times, but you were….you were just…” she trailed off, unable to finish.  It sounded like shit even to her ears. Regardless of who he was dating – her or someone else – he didn’t deserve to have his child kept from him.

“Because I was dating Nicole?” he asked her in a clipped tone, and Lennie stiffened at the mention of her name.  She could feel the chasm widening between them.  As close as they were right now, she felt miles apart from him.

“Yes,” she answered sharply.  She tried to control the anger in her voice, she really did, but it was hard, and Michael noticed.

“So, imagine that someone did the same to you?  How would you feel, Lennie?” She put her hand on his chest as she tried to push off him and get up, but Michael pulled her back down to him.

“You don’t get to leave when it gets uncomfortable, luv.” His voice was getting harder, colder, by the second. “Answer my question.  What would you do if the same was done to you?”

“It was,” she retorted bitterly.  She shrugged his arm off and crawled out of bed and began dressing hurriedly.  Michael sat up and stared at her with a frown on his face.

“What do you mean, it was? “ he asked as he stood and pulled his pants on.

“Let’s just say secrets are a family tradition where I come from,” Lennie spat. She could feel those fucking tears coming and she was so pissed off.  This was not happening now!!

“Can you stop being so damn cryptic and explain what’s going on?” Michael asked in aggravation. He followed her as she peeked out in the hallway. Seeing no sign of Cooper, she scurried across the hall and into the guest bathroom. Michael slid in behind her and crossed his arms over his chest as he leaned back against the door.  She glared at him through the mirror.

“Tell me, Lennie.”

“Tell you what, Michael?  That my father was a liar who was living a double-life right under our nose? That I have brothers that I’ve never known about til now? That my mother was an alcoholic and drug addict? That she killed my father and brother?” she whispered furiously as she blinked back angry tears.  She turned on the water angrily and grabbed a washcloth to wipe her face. “Fuck!”

Michael walked up behind her and pulled her into his chest, and wrapped his arms around her despite her struggling against him.

“Stop, Lennie,” he murmured against her hair. “Stop, please, luv.” He held her tight, his arms wrapped around her shoulders. Lennie leaned her head over his arms and cried softly as Michael continued holding her tight against him.

“Steve told me, Lennie,” Michael spoke softly against her hair. “He told me about your family dying in the car crash and the problems with your mum, but I have no idea what this thing with your brothers is.  Can you tell me, please?”

“I don’t even know, Michael,” she cried softly. “It’s just such shit, and it’s unfair, and I am so angry.”

“It’s okay to be angry, sweetheart. I’m angry, too,” he admitted quietly.  Lennie looked up at him in the mirror, and she saw him clearly for the first time.  He was standing behind her, his strong arms wrapped around her shoulders and waist, and she could see how bad she’d hurt him with her deception.  She could see it clearly written on his face and in his eyes, but he was still holding her tight.  He hadn’t left, and he hadn’t taken Cooper.  He was still there.

“I’m so sorry, Michael,” she whispered in regret. “I am so sorry, and I know that doesn’t make anything better.  I was hurt and I was angry, and then my family died and I couldn’t lose Cooper. He was all I had left.”

“I understand, Lennie. It doesn’t make it better, and it doesn’t make it right, but I think I understand.” He pressed his nose against her hair and inhaled deeply as he stared down at the floor. Lennie brought her hands up and clutched at his forearm across her shoulders.  She was trembling when she spoke.

“I’m terrified, Michael. If we don’t work out, and you get mad at me, I am terrified to lose Cooper,” she whispered softly.  Her chin started trembling again and she blinked rapidly to ward off the tears that were threatening at the thought of losing her son.  She would never survive.

“Then I guess we need to make it work, then,” he replied flatly. He kissed her on her temple and released her.

Lennie watched wordlessly as he excused himself from the bathroom and closed the door behind him.  She stood before the mirror, shaking in trepidation.  What the hell just happened?  They were talking, making headway, and then he left.  What did she say wrong?   Did that mean that he wanted to work it out?  Did it - by default - mean that if they didn’t work it out then he would take Cooper? Or force her to share custody? She couldn’t read him, and it was terrifying her.  She had no idea where she and Michael stood at the moment. No idea at all.

* * *

 

Lennie walked out of the bathroom a few moments later and headed to the living room. Cooper was blissfully still asleep and she walked over to touch his forehead gently to make sure he was okay. Finding that he was, she turned and looked for Michael.  He was not in the living room or kitchen and her anxiety started rising.  She walked back to the guest room and opened the door, and her heart plummeted.  He was standing by the bed, angrily shoving his clothes back into his suitcase. She walked in and slowly closed the door.

“What are you doing?” Her voice was small in the room, and Michael stilled at the sound. He did not turn around to look at her.

“I need to leave,” he replied gruffly.  He resumed shoving things back in his suitcase.

“Why?” She moved closer, and dropped down on the bed as she stared at her hands folded in her lap.

“You know why, Lennie.”

"No. I don’t. That’s why I’m asking you,” she argued.   Her eyes were full of tears and she swiped at her face quickly to remove the ones that were rolling down her cheeks already. “I thought we were going to work this out?”

Michael dropped his suitcase on the bed and walked away, hands on slim hips as he paced the room.

“You know, Lennie, I just can’t fucking understand why you would keep this from me for so long,” he bit out. “Can you imagine what that feels like to see that boy out there and know that he is your son, but he doesn’t know?”

Lennie flinched at his tone.  She knew she deserved this, every single bit of it.  She sat silently as he continued.

“Then I come here, and your fucking brother - who you don’t know, and who I don’t know – is playing with my son – _MY SON_ – and treating me like I did something wrong!” He ran his hands through his hair in aggravation and continued pacing.

“I’m sorry,” Lennie offered meekly.  Michael stopped pacing and looked down at her in disbelief.

“You’re sorry, Lennie? _You’re sorry?_ ” he snarled at her. “Is that supposed to make it better? Is that going to give me back the years you took from me?”

“No it won’t,” she croaked.  Her voice was barely above a whisper, and sounded tremulous with her emotions and tattered nerves. “I’m sorry. I don’t know how to fix this, Michael.”

“There is no _fixing it_ , Lennie,” he mocked her words. “You don’t just pick up and go about your business as if nothing happened.”

Lennie placed her palms over her ears and rubbed her temples with her fingertips. She could feel the migraine coming on, the dull throbbing already creeping in behind her ears.

“Put your hands over your ears, then?  Just like you’ve always done, right?  Ignore me and hope I go away?” Michael sneered at her.  Lennie opened her eyes and stared up at him.  She didn’t have the energy to fight like this.  What was going to happen was going to happen – whether she wanted it to or not. It no longer mattered what she felt about him if he didn't feel the same way about her. 

“I don’t know what to do, Michael. I’m trying to apologize, and I don’t know what it’s going to take to fix this. Tell me and I’ll do it,” she weakly pleaded with him. “Please, Michael. Tell me and I’ll do it.”

Michael stared at her for a moment, his brows drawn together in anger.  Lennie waited, her breath held as she stared up at him.

“I’m sorry, Michael. Please.  I am so, so sorry,” she sniffled brokenly and wiped at her eyes. Her heart was pounding against her ribs as she waited for him to say something.  Instead, he turned away from her and crossed his arms over his chest.  Lennie stared at his back, the broad angry, shoulders under his tee-shirt tense with emotion.  How she wanted to go to to him, to wrap her arms around him and make it okay, but she knew she wasn't welcome.

"You said you were terrified to lose Cooper," he muttered.  "Terrified to lose Cooper.  Not me.  I have been chasing you for years, trying to get you back, and when I finally do, it's still not enough."  He turned around to look at her and Lennie was shocked to see the anguished look on his face.  "Am I that disposable to you?"

"Wh....what?"  Lennie stammered in shock. 

"Even now, you still don't trust me.  You said as much a few minutes ago.   You truly don't know me, Lennie, if you think I'd take him from you."  He shook his head at her sadly, and Lennie felt the nausea rising in her stomach at his words.   She had so badly misjudged him, had lumped him in with all the others that had done her wrong before. 

"Besides, you still have one foot in and one foot out, ready to run at any thing that remotely seems threatening to you," Michael continued.  "So if I stay here...with you...and with our son, I run that risk of you running out on me."

"Michael, I-" 

"No!" He hoarsely barked at her and Lennie sat back in a stunned silence.  "What happens when you freak out again?  Or when I make another mistake?  You'll run again, and this time you'll take my son with you.  I can't go through that.   I won't."

Lennie covered her mouth with her hands to hold back the sobs that were trying to escape.  She could barely see Michael through the tears in her eyes.

"You talk about not being able to trust me, yet you kept this kind of secret from me!" He jabbed his finger in his chest for emphasis.  "What else would you keep from me?  You say you can't trust me, well how the fuck am I ever supposed to trust you?"  His eyes were ice cold in anger and hurt as he glared down at her.  Lennie sat there, numb and devoid of feeling.  She felt like the ground had fallen out from underneath her.  Without another word, Michael walked back over to the bed and and grabbed his suitcase and cell phone.  He started towards the door, and Lennie jumped off the bed and ran after him.   She grabbed his arm, halting him as he turned the doorknob to leave.

"Michael! Please don't leave! Please," she begged him.  She didn't care; she had no dignity left.  "Please."

Michael's jaw was tensing with emotion and Lennie could clearly see the moisture that had glossed over his eyes.  He was on the verge of tears himself, and would not look down at her. 

"Please," she whispered around the lump in her throat.  "Please don't leave."

Michael lifted his jaw and coldly shrugged her arm off.  "Tell Cooper I will see him soon."  His voice cracked at his son's name.

He pulled open the door and headed out into the hall.  Lennie followed after him,  a hand clutched at her mouth to keep her sobs quiet.  He walked into the living room and Lennie watched, heartbroken, as he leaned down and kissed Cooper on his forehead gently.  He wiped at his eyes with his hand and stood up, and with one last look at Cooper, he walked to the front door and let himself out. Just like that he was gone.

Lennie fell down on the floor at the doorway into the living room, and bit her fist to keep her sobs quiet.  She was so ashamed, so very ashamed.  Everything he'd said was true, every last word of it. 

She had no one to blame but herself for this mess. 

 

 


	28. Chapter 28

Lennie sat on the couch, watching as Cooper slowly stirred from his sleep. She smiled at him, and her heart broke anew as she saw again just how much he looked like Michael. His little brow furrowed the same way and his thin lips flattened as he rubbed his head against the pillow. The same way Michael did when he was waking up. She walked back to the kitchen and grabbed her cell phone and sat at the island.

She dialed his number and it went straight to voice mail. 

Over and over again it went straight to voice mail.  She didn’t trust her voice to leave a message, so she texted him. She sent the message and chewed on her fingernail as she waited, hoping against hope, that he would respond.

* * *

 

Michael watched as the phone buzzed repeatedly against the glass of the patio table. He was at his small apartment, less than 10 miles away from where Lennie lived. He knew he didn’t have the heart to leave on a plane.  He knew he couldn’t go through with it, but he also knew he needed to get away from her for a while.  Sort his thoughts out. 

When his mobile stopped buzzing, he lifted the small glass of whiskey to his lip, took another small sip and stared out into the woods behind his small dwelling.  Every fiber of his being was telling him to get his ass back in the car and go back, to forgive her and make things right.  Pick up the fucking phone and call her.  Tell her he didn’t mean it, and that it would all be okay for them.  That was his heart talking.  He knew that.  He’d known that since he laid eyes on her at the funeral.  Everything had changed, but absolutely nothing changed. He felt that same fear he had when he was with her the first time. He knew, beyond a shadow of a doubt, that Lennon Grace LeBlanc was that woman his father had warned him about. She was the one that would get inside his brain, and wiggle her way into his heart, and he would not be able to get her out.  No matter what he did, and how many women he had dated after, he could not get her out of his mind. 

It terrified him.

He knew what _it_ was over four years ago when he’d first met her.  He'd fallen fast and he'd fallen hard.  Subconsciously he'd known exactly what was going on, whether he acknowledged _it_ or not.  He could feel it now, and he knew it was only his pride keeping him away.  _What kind of a fucking idiot would crawl back to a woman that had done what she’d done to him?_   He snorted.  He was surely an idiot, because that’s exactly what he wanted to do: crawl back with his tail between his legs, tell her he was sorry, and beg her forgiveness.  He took another sip of his whiskey, wincing as the liquid burned going down his throat. 

The stakes were higher now.  Much higher.   He had a child with her.  If they couldn’t make it this time, it would destroy him.  Maybe it was just better to not try, he reasoned with himself.  Save himself the heartache.  Lennie didn’t have much faith in him – _he had cheated after all_ – and she’d actually feared that he would take their son away from her.  She didn’t believe in him at all.  Maybe she’d be happier without him?  She was doing just fine, it seemed, until he came back in the picture.  She was incredibly accomplished, and Cooper was well taken care of. Her family was fucked up apparently, but she had at least one brother that seemed to care about her. 

Michael grimaced, thinking back on his run-in with Jacob.  That man was very protective of his sister.

He took another sip, this one longer, as he mulled over the fact that _he_ should be the one protecting Lennie.  _He_ should be the one playing with their son, and _he_ should be the one taking their son fishing.  He should be there right now, waiting as Cooper woke up.  Would his son miss him?  Would he even realize he was gone?  Michael shook off those thoughts; he was not willing to dwell there too long.  It was tearing him up inside.

He picked up his phone and stared at it. 3 missed calls from her. 1 text message.

**I’m sorry. More than you’ll ever know. I know you’re angry at me, and I deserve it all. I am so sorry. Please give me a chance. Whatever I have to do, I’ll do it.**

What did that even fucking mean?  He glared down at his phone, contemplating on whether or not to respond.  She would do whatever it took?  To do what?  Work it out with him, or to co-parent?  He knew unequivocally that he could never just co-parent with her, that he could never just be partially in her life.  He knew this as fact.  He was an all-or-nothing guy.  He knew this, and he would never be satisfied with seeing Lennie when he picked up Cooper for the weekend. 

His mouth turned down in a scowl as he thought about Lennie with another man.  He remembered vividly the anger that shot through his body when he first saw Cooper with Lennie at the park.  Just the thought of her with someone else set his blood boiling.  He lifted the glass and tipped it back, emptying the contents down his throat with a hiss, and set the glass back on the table.  He scrolled through his phone and pressed a button.  That meddling bastard had better be awake....

“Yeah?” Steve’s voice came over the line and Michael sat back in his chair in relief.

“It’s me,” he grumbled into the receiver. Not giving a fuck anymore, he lit the cigarette he’d been holding between his fingers for the past twenty minutes. What did it matter anymore if he smoked or not?

“I gathered as much,” Steve chuckled into the phone. “Where are you?”

“Louisiana,” Michael grumbled again. He breathed out a long, swirling stream of smoke into the humid Louisiana air.

“You’re with Lennie and the baby, then?” Steve asked cheerfully.

“I was,” Michael hedged. He took another drag of his cigarette, and he could hear Steve snort over the line.

“What do you mean you were? What the bloody hell, Mike? Are you smoking?”

“I tried, Steve. I tried,” Michael protested, but Steve wasn’t having it.

“What do you mean, you tried?” Steve demanded. “And why are you smoking again? I thought you were quitting?”

“How do you know I’m smoking?” Michael ignored his question as he blew out another puff of smoke. 

“Oh come off it, Michael.  You’re so full of shit. What happened?”

“Everything was good and then it got sort of fucked up, you know,” Michael shrugged helplessly. He ground the cigarette out half-way through, feeling guilty for even having lit it up in the first place.

“What part did you have in that?”

“What?” Michael’s brows drew together.  _Why was he always on her side?_

“I’m sure you had a part.  What happened?  Did she tell you about her family?” Steve pressed, and Michael frowned again. Her family….

“Oh yeah. I met her brother.  Charming fellow,” he answered in distaste.  He was still on the fence about that big asshole.

“Her brother?  Her brother is dead.” Steve was clearly confused.

“Oh, no.  She’s got two more.  Apparently her dad had another family, or some shit,” Michael explained.

“Another family? I’m really not following.”  Steve sounded as bewildered as Michael felt. 

“Join the club.”

“Okay, so that aside.  What about you and Lennie?  What happened?” Steve continued.

“Nothing happened.”

“I swear, Michael, if you don’t stop being so obtuse, I’m going to get my ass on a plane and come there myself!” Steve warned, but Michael couldn’t control his chuckle. “It’s not funny, you bastard.”

“I’ve still...got feelings....for her,” Michael reluctantly confessed.

“So you admit it, then?” Steve retorted. “Finally.”

“Yeah, whatever,” Michael replied.  He scooted down in his seat and rested his head on the back of the chair, and stared up at the sky.

“So now what?”

“Nothing, I guess,” Michael muttered.

“I swear, so help me God, I will get my ass on a plane and-”

“I left her, Steve,” Michael interjected angrily. “I left, okay?  We had a good few days, and things were fine, and I left.”

“Why would you make such a dumb-ass decision, Michael?” Steve demanded. “For someone as smart as you, you're clearly an idiot.  Truly.”

Michael snorted.

“Get your ass up and go back.  Tell her you’re sorry.  Fix it,” Steve ordered calmly.

“Why should I be the one to fix it?” Michael shot back. “She’s the one who did this.”  He closed his eyes and pinched the bridge of his nose in frustration.

“Do you love her?” Steve asked unexpectedly. Michael’s eyes popped open in surprise and he sat up a little straighter in the chair.

“What?”

“Don’t be ignorant with me.  You love her, and it’s scaring the shit out of you, just like before,” Steve accused. “And just like before, you’ll run away, find some reason to fuck it up.”

Michael slouched back down and closed his eyes. He’d known that all alone, but having someone say it out loud was a bit disconcerting.  Fuck.

“Mike?”

“What?” he gritted out from between flat lips.

“What are you afraid of?” Steve asked gently. “All bullshit aside, what are you afraid of?”

“She doesn’t feel the same way, Steve.  She never has,” Michael said quietly. “She said as much earlier.  She’s afraid to lose Cooper.”

“And?  He’s her son, Michael!  What don’t you understand about that?” Steve’s voice boomed over the phone in aggravation. “Quit being such a child and go to her. Make her understand.”

“So just go to her, lay everything at her feet, and hope it works out?” Michael muttered angrily.  Why was he having to bend all the time?

“Yes! Damnit!” Steve was exasperated. “Don’t you know anything about women, you daft bastard?”

“No. I don’t guess I do!”

Steve sighed in aggravation, and Michael couldn’t help but smirk just a tiny bit at his friend’s annoyance. He could imagine the look on his face right now…

“Look. Was she wrong?  Absolutely.  In no shape, form, or fashion am I excusing her behavior and I've told her as much many times.  She has much to make up for.  Were you wrong? Absolutely. You found yourself in too deep with her and you nearly pissed yourself trying to get out of it.”

“Steve-”

“No!” Steve interrupted him. “Just listen for a moment, will you?  Tell me that you don’t feel that way, Michael.  You’ve not been in a real relationship since Lennie. You’ve jumped from one to the next, haven’t you?”

Michael sat in silence, his foot tapping like teenager getting a lecture from his parent.

“You have.  I’ve seen it with my own eyes.” Steve’s tone softened considerably as he continued. “Look. We’re men.  I get it.  We don’t want to, sort of, talk about being emotional, and vulnerable, and all that shit, but you’ve got to take a chance, Michael.  It might not work out, but then again it might be the best thing you’ve ever done. You’ll not know til you take a chance.”

Michael continued to sit silently, his mind warring with the rationality of what his heart wanted him to do.  He’d done a lot of crazy shit – a lot of dangerous, crazy shit – but this was by far the most terrifying of them all.  If he went there and laid it all bare, and she shit on him again, he wouldn’t be able to withstand it. He felt that deep in his core. He’d lose her again, and this time he’d also lose his son.

“Quit thinking about it,” Steve’s voice intruded. “I know that’s what you’re doing.  Just get your ass back there and jump.  Jump like you did out of that fucking plane.”

Michael chuckled as he remembered his first jump.

“I jumped, but I was pushed first, Steve,” he admitted sheepishly.

“Well, this is me pushing your skinny ass out of the plane, you bastard,” Steve said, and Michael could hear the grin in his voice. “Just fucking do it, man.  What have you got to be afraid of?”

“That she’ll destroy me.” Michael worried his thumbnail between his teeth.

“Or she’ll give you what you’ve been searching for since you first met her,” Steve offered simply. “You’ve got to try, Mike.”

“Have you got any more ideas for the future?”

“What do you mean?” Steve asked in confusion, and Michael laughed.

“For films. In case this goes badly for me.  I’m gonna need work, and lots of it,” Michael replied dryly.

“Yeah.  It’ll be a film about a jackass who’s in love with someone, but he’s too much of a shit to realize it, and they’ve got a kid, who just happens to be a director’s godson, and-”

“Oh fuck off, Steve!” Michael laughed again.

“Well, now you’re definitely at the bottom of my list for potential leads, Fassbender!” Steve shot back with his own laugh, and Michael felt some of the weight lift off his shoulders after having had this talk. Things made a little more sense now.

“Alright, I’ll go,” Michael answered resolutely.  He had to take a chance.

“Good. Go get some flowers and fried alligator,” Steve advised, and Michael could hear the revulsion in his words. “She’s always trying to get me to eat that shite.”

“Alligator!?” Michael’s brows drew together in disbelief. “Who eats alligator? What about chocolates?”

“Lennie’s not your typical girl, Michael,” Steve chuckled again. “Get her some fried alligator. Trust me on this.”

“Where do I get that?” Michael asked.  He had never in his life eaten alligator, nor did he know anyone who did.

“Any little restaurant in that area. Maybe even the convenience store,” Steve replied. “It’s quite a different world down there, isn’t it?”

Michael rubbed the back of his neck. “Yeah, it is. I must not have been paying attention when we were down here last.”

“Of course not!” Steve quipped! “You were either falling in love with Lennie, or actively trying to escape her!”

“I’m not sure I approved you being my son’s godfather,” Michael scowled.

“Too bad,” Steve snickered.

“Bye, Steve.”

“Call me later, you bloody bastard.”

Michael hung up on Steve and sat back in his chair as he contemplated his next move. It looked like it was going to rain again, and he frowned.  It was always raining in this bloody place. He’d better get his ass in gear if he was going to get what he needed and head back to Lennie’s.  He sighed as he stood up and grabbed his things.  He could only hope that she’d still be willing to let him come back.


	29. Chapter 29

 

 _ **I have not been home since you left long ago,**_  
_**I'm thumbing my way back to heaven.**_  
_**Counting steps walking backwards on the road**_  
_**I'm counting my way back to heaven.**_  
  
_**I can't be free with what's locked inside of me...**_  
_**If there was a key you took it in your hand.**_

 

“Cooper!” Lennie yelled down the hall. “Cooper! Get your clothes out of the bathroom, please!”

She sighed as she walked around the living room, picking up toys and tossing them in the basket she was carrying.  She had just cleaned up, but it hardly looked like it. She wearily plopped down on the couch.  She had no motivation today, absolutely none.  Ever since the fall-out with Michael, she’d just been lethargic and moody.  Everything was getting on her nerves, and all she wanted to do was go to bed.  It was only barely 7pm, and she was already getting Cooper ready for bed.  She stood back up and walked down the hallway as she looked for Cooper.

She found him in his room.

He was laying on his floor, playing MineCraft. It had quickly become his favorite game, and while Lennie didn’t advocate for kids playing video games, this one she let slide. Today, probably even more. All she wanted to do was crawl in bed and not come out for a few days.

“Let’s go brush your teeth, kiddo,” she said to her son as she picked up some of his clothes from the floor and tossed them in his laundry basket. He followed, and they quickly brushed his teeth.  When they were done, Lennie followed him back to his bed and helped him crawl in.

“Okay, Coop. I’m not feeling well, okay?  So I’m gonna go lay down in the living room,” Lennie said as she tucked him in. “You can play your game for a little while longer, okay?”

“Okay,” Cooper mumbled. He was barely looking at her, so wrapped up in the game he was. Lennie’s brows furrowed, and she knew she should be aggravated, but tonight she just didn’t care. She was too tired, and too sad, and too depressed.  She just wanted to sleep.  She leaned over and kissed Cooper’s head softly.

“You come get me if you need me, okay baby?” Cooper mumbled in agreement and Lennie stood up and walked back to the living room. 

She grabbed the remote, and snuggled into the blanket on the couch. She flipped the television on and found The Weather Channel and left it there. More rain. It was supposed to rain for the rest of the week.  Great, she thought miserably.  More time for the contractors to not do their work.  Assholes.  Her phone buzzed on the coffee table and she scrambled out of the blanket to get to it. 

It was Jacob. 

Again.

He’d been calling all day, and after she’d told him earlier that she and Michael had maybe broken up – _she wasn’t sure if they were ever together??_ – he’d offered to come up.  She’d declined, and asked him to let her be for a few days.  He’d called her back a few times, and each time she’d allowed it to go to voice mail.  She set the phone down on the coffee table; it could go to voice mail again.  She snuggled back into the couch and closed her eyes, and she was just dozing off when the doorbell rang.  She jumped, startled from her half-asleep state, and crawled off the couch.

“I fucking swear, Jacob,” she groused as she walked to the door.  He just didn’t know how to take “no” for an answer! She flung the door open angrily, ready to give her brother hell, but it wasn’t Jacob that stared back at her.

“Hello,” Michael gave her a tense, lopsided smile. He had a bouquet of flowers in one hand, and a to-go bag from Parrain’s Seafood in the other. Lennie eyed the bag with a mixture of uncertainty and not a little skepticism.

“I thought you might be hungry,” Michael offered quietly.  A crack of lightning lit up the sky, followed by a low rumble of thunder that shook the glass window panes on the door. “Can I come in?”

“Uhm…yeah, sure,” Lennie opened the door wider.  Michael stepped in and she shut the door behind him, and they both stood awkwardly in the foyer.  She couldn’t meet his eyes, and instead stared at the floor.

“Where’s Cooper?” Michael broke the silence first.

“He’s playing his little tablet,” Lennie answered softly.  She felt Michael’s eyes on her and she looked up at him, and immediately looked back down. She became acutely aware that she was wearing a tank-top and sweats, and that she felt very “naked” around him.

“Let me go grab a sweater, okay? You can got sit, or whatever you want to do…” she trailed off as she scurried back to her bedroom and grabbed a hoodie.  She took a few deep breaths to calm herself before heading back out into the living area.  She found Michael sitting at the island in the kitchen, his hands steepled under his chin.  Lennie walked over to the far side of the island and backed up to the cabinets, her arms crossed over her chest protectively.  Michael looked up at her, and motioned to the bag next to him.

“I’ve brought you alligator,” he stated matter-of-factly.  Lennie stared at him for a few moments, but couldn’t contain the giggle that escaped from between her twitching lips.  Michael’s face softened and he too broke out in a grin. “What’s so funny?”

“I wish you could hear yourself say that you’ve brought me alligator,” she giggled again.

“Why?” Michael asked, smile still in place.

“I can almost hear the disgust you’re trying to hide,” Lennie covered her mouth with her hand as she continued to laugh. She walked over and peeked in the bag, and inhaled deeply. “It smells so good!”

With an arched eyebrow, Michael reached in the bag and pulled out the small boxes and spread them on the top of the island before them. He opened up each box, revealing fried boudin balls, hushpuppies in another, and finally fried alligator in the last box.

“I got a little bit of everything,” he shrugged.  Lennie leaned over and plucked a piece of alligator from the box and popped it in her mouth, sighing in delight as she chewed. She opened her eyes to find Michael staring back at her in disbelief. “You really did eat it, didn’t you?”

Lennie snorted.

“Of course, crazy!”  She popped another piece in her mouth, and grabbed another and held it up to Michael. “Try it.”

Michael shook his head and leaned back away from her. “No way.”

“Come on. It’s good. Try it,” she moved closer to him and held the piece of alligator out to him with her fingertips.

“What does it taste like?” Michael hesitated as he warily stared at the piece of food in her hand.

“Chicken.” Lennie replied straight-faced.

“Bullshit,” Michael cocked a sarcastic eyebrow at her.

“Stop being a baby and try it,” Lennie moved a little closer to him as she dangled the meat in front of his face.

“What’s it worth?” Michael asked her, and Lennie faltered a bit at the change in his voice.  She knew they weren’t talking about food any longer.

“What?” she breathed out.

“You’ll owe me if I try that,” Michael dared her.

“What do you want?”

“A chance,” Michael proposed.  Lennie blinked up at him in a bit of shock, even more so when Michael reached out and pulled her to him with her hand that held the gator. He pulled the meat from between her fingers and popped it in his mouth.  He started chewing, and pulled her closer to him as he sat on the stool.

“Well?” Lennie whispered as she stared up at him.  She was standing between his legs and he had one hand resting lazily on her hip. She watched as he swallowed the meat down, and looked down at her with surprised smile.

“It’s actually not half-bad,” he replied in amazement.  Lennie let out the breath she didn’t know she had been holding and smiled wobbly up at him.

“Want more?”

“Of you? Absolutely,” he winked at her and Lennie nearly choked.

“No, I mean…more of the-”

“Give me a chance, Lennie,” Michael interrupted her gently.  He pulled her even closer and wrapped both arms around her, resting his hands at her lower back.  Lennie stared at his chest, not knowing if she was dreaming, or what was going on.  She felt Michael tilt her chin up with his finger, forcing her to look at him.  She stared up at him with wide eyes.

“I’m an asshole, Lennie. Give me a chance. Please.”

“Michael, I-”

He leaned down and kissed her, gently at first but then more urgently.  Lennie gripped his hands as they cupped her face, and she melted into him.  Michael’s lips moved slowly over hers, his nose at her cheek as their breaths mingled.  Lennie leaned up into him and moaned softly as he nibbled on her lower lip before releasing her.  He stared down at her with a shy smile, his blue eyes gentle.

“I’m sorry. Give me a chance, okay?  Us.  Give us a chance,” he implored her. “Let’s talk, and figure it out, and make it work, okay?”

“Even after all that happened?” Lennie asked in astonishment.  Michael nodded down at her with another smile.

“If you’ll forgive me. I’ve already forgiven you, luv.” He rubbed her cheek tenderly with his thumb.

“Really?” Lennie blinked back tears of happiness, and Michael kissed her softly on her forehead.  He leaned back and smiled at her again, and unable to control herself, Lennie launched herself at his chest.  She wrapped her arms around his back and hugged him tightly to her.

“Thank you,” she mumbled against his chest as she rubbed her cheek against him.  Michael hugged her tightly, and rested his chin on top of her head.  They sat there in silence, holding each other and just enjoying the others' presence, when Cooper came bounding into the kitchen.  Lennie immediately tried to pull out of Michael’s arms, but he held her fast.  Cooper started giggling and clapped his little hands over his mouth as he saw his mother hugging Michael.

“You want something to eat, then?” Michael asked, ignoring the obvious.  Cooper did too, and quickly hopped up on the stool next to Michael.  Lennie slid out of Michael’s arms, but not without a sideways look from him.  She shrugged in response and walked around to the other side of the island.

“Coop?” She reached out and grabbed a piece of alligator and handed it to him. “Here, baby.”

Cooper took it and popped it in his mouth.

“Uhmm! Chicken!” he smiled in delight and reached for another piece.  Lennie and Michael shared a look, and both started laughing.

“Not chicken, baby. That’s alligator,” Lennie informed her son with a smile.  Cooper’s eyes got wide, and his smile got bigger.  He reached for another piece and popped it in his mouth.

“I’m going to tell Uncle Jacob that I ate more aldigator!” He slid off the stool and took off for his room before Lennie could stop him. She looked back over at Michael, and her smile wavered as she caught the look on his face.  She walked back over to him and placed her palm against his scruffy cheek.

“He’s been skyping off and on with them,” she explained gently.  Michael’s jaw tensed under her palm and her heart broke anew.

“We’ll tell him soon, Michael. Whenever you’re ready, okay?” she assured him. She didn’t want him to waste any more time with his son; he'd already had far too much taken from him. She would never forgive herself for what she’d done.  Michael looked down at her and offered a smile, but she could tell he was still upset at his son mentioning his uncle.

“I want him to be excited to see me like that.” His voice was gruff, and Lennie had to fight back tears at his pain.  She wrapped her arms around him again and hugged him tight.  Thankfully he hugged her back, and rested his head at the crook of her neck. She stroked the back of his head as they held each other.

“I’m so sorry, Michael,” she mumbled through her emotions. “We’ll fix it, okay?”

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Lyrics at the beginning are "Thumbing My Way" by Pearl Jam
> 
> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_ZdcauiB3Q4
> 
> ^^ Eddie actually dedicates this song to a guy named Michael. I'll assume it's our Michael :-)


	30. Chapter 30

“He’s asleep,” Michael smiled as he walked back into the living room. Lennie looked up at him and smiled back. She scooted over on the couch and lifted the blanket so Michael could crawl in. When he was seated next to her, he pulled her down to his chest and wrapped his arms around her. Lennie closed her eyes in contentment and snuggled into his chest as Michael pressed his nose to her hair.

“Wanna talk?” she asked softly.  She didn’t want to ruin the mood, but she also knew Michael needed answers.  He stiffened just imperceptibly against her, but nodded in agreement.  She could feel his heartbeat racing against her cheek.

“We need to.”

“Where do you want me to start?” Lennie asked in a small voice.

“The beginning.”

“Okay, so my mom was an addict.  Both prescription drugs and alcohol. That went on my whole life; as far back as I can remember.  It was a pretty well-kept secret, and we had a good life really.” She sucked in a deep breath and continued. “One night, when Cooper was maybe 6 months old,  she went off and got wasted at some bar. Dad and Chase – that’s my other brother - went to go get her. On the way back, she somehow caused my dad to wreck the car. It overturned and they were all killed. Mom and dad at the scene, Chase some weeks later.” She reached up and wiped at a tear that had rolled down her cheek.  Michael didn’t say a word as she continued.

“So, after the funeral I found my mom’s journals, and there were some things in there that led me to believe that my dad may have been unfaithful, but I didn’t read into it too much.” Lennie brought her thumb to her mouth and chewed on the nail as she continued. “I think I knew, somehow, that Jacob and Leon were something more than just friends of my dad. I mean, Leon’s name, and the way my dad behaved around them.  The way my dad behaved around their mom.  I think I knew but didn’t want to see it, you know?”

“When did you find out for sure?” Michael asked softly.

“Well, I had been getting weird phone calls ever since my parent's funeral, and a few days before Marie’s funeral, I got a message on Facebook from Jacob.  I ignored it as long as possible, but I decided to call back one day.”  She shifted against him.  “It was after seeing you at the funeral.  I think I realized I couldn’t keep running from everything. So I gave it a shot, and now I am sad that I never knew them before as my brothers. They are such good men, Michael.” She smiled fondly as she thought of Jacob and Leon.

“At any point did you think you were going to call me?” Michael’s voice was low, but Lennie could hear the anger underlying his words.

“Yes. Many times. My dad said I should, but I couldn’t bring myself to. You were still dating her,” Lennie’s lips turned up in a mixture of disgust and regret, “and I was so angry. I know it was wrong, but it’s how I felt. Then, the accident happened, and I was all alone, and I knew I couldn’t lose anyone else. I was scared, Michael,” she finished honestly.  She leaned up to stare at him. His eyes were guarded as he stared back at her, his face devoid of emotion. 

"Everything I knew was a lie, and I didn't trust anyone, let alone myself.  I mean, how did I not know something was off?  I couldn't believe that I'd been so blind."  Her voice was rising as she grew increasingly frantic.  She needed him to understand her, needed him to believe her even if it sounded unbelievable. 

“Please believe me, Michael.  I was scared, and I was so afraid that you would take him from me.  I didn't know what to do, so I did nothing.  I just buried it, and hid.  I’m sorry, and I was wrong, and I know I’m wrong now.”

Michael didn’t speak, and looked up above her head to a spot on the wall. Lennie sighed and lay back down, and she was surprised to feel Michael wrap his arms around her again. He rested his chin against the top of her head, and his hand lightly rubbed the small of her back.

“I can understand if you are mad at me, and I can even understand if you never forgive me,” she whispered against his chest.  Another tear rolled down her cheek and landed on Michael’s shirt, and she did her best to reign in the sniffles that followed.  Michael pulled her closer to him and kissed the top of her head.

“I told you, I’ve already forgiven you.”

“But why?” Lennie timidly asked. She leaned up to look at him again, and this time she saw Michael staring back at her with a tender smile. His fingertip trailed along the edge of her jaw.

“Isn’t it obvious?”

“Isn’t what obvious?” She stared at him with perplexity, and Michael chuckled as he pulled her to him.

“Kiss me, luv,” he ordered softly.  Lennie continued to stare at him, not knowing what was going on, but allowed him to pull her in for a kiss. She planted her palms firmly against his chest and pressed her lips to his as he cradled her face.  She melted as his lips touched hers, the heat going straight to her core.

“I’d like to take you to bed.” He nuzzled her nose with his, and Lennie couldn’t control the shivers that traveled up her body at his words.  His blue eyes had grown heavy with desire, and she felt herself getting more and more aroused as she looked into his eyes.  Without a word, she crawled off him and helped pull him up by the hand. Michael wordlessly followed her back to her room, and she closed and locked the door behind them. Lennie leaned up against the door and regarded Michael with cautious eyes. She still couldn’t figure out what was going on.  Earlier that day he’d stormed out; now he was back and they were about to make love.  She watched as walked towards her.

“Come on, Lennie,” he murmured as he took her hand in his and guided her over to her bed.

“I need to…I haven’t showered…Michael,” she stammered out as he pulled her to him and kissed along the curve of her neck.

“You smell fine to me, luv,” Michael murmured against the part of her neck where it met her shoulder, and Lennie shivered against him.

“I need to clean up,” she whispered, although right now she was ready to give in to whatever he wanted. Michael pulled back and looked down at her with a bemused smile.

“Are you trying to avoid me, sweetheart?” He cocked an eyebrow at her playfully, but Lennie shook her head vehemently in denial.

“I’m just…I just….” She gave up and shrugged in defeat. “I’m just shocked, Michael.  It all seems too good to be true, you know?”

“I do know, luv,” Michael agreed with her as he slowly backed her into the bathroom.

“I mean, everything was horrible earlier, and now you’re here, and everything seems so good.”  Her breath caught when Michael shut the bathroom door behind them and locked it as well. She just now realized they were in her bathroom. 

Alone. 

He reached down and lifted his shirt up by the hem, pulling it off and tossing it by the wall.  Lennie stared at his chest, her breath coming in short, hitching pants as he walked towards her. The way his muscles played in his chest as he walked, the lithe way he moved like a sleek jungle cat had her transfixed to the spot she was standing in. He was the hunter and she was the prey.  She swallowed hard as his fingers came to rest on her hips and slowly guided her backwards. He backed her up to the shower and Lennie stopped breathing when he reached around her and turned the water on. He was so close to her, his bare chest pressed against her shoulder, and she closed her eyes to steady herself. She could smell his cologne, could smell just a hint of the cigarette that he’d probably smoked earlier. Her eyes flew open when she felt Michael unzipping her hoodie.

“You’ve got to take this off if we’re going to get in the shower, luv,” he explained easily as he pulled her jacket off and tossed it in the general direction of his shirt. Lennie stood before him, clad in a tank-top, and shivering.  She knew it had nothing to do with the temperature as the bathroom was already steaming from the hot water.

“Take this off,” Michael pulled her tank top up from her waist, his fingers trailing along her abdomen as he went. She nervously trembled, and her skin broke out in goosebumps in his fingertip’s wake. He pulled the tank-top over her head and Lennie subconsciously crossed her arms over her chest to cover her exposed breasts. They were still covered with her bra, but she felt completely naked before him. Michael gently pried her arms away from her chest and placed them at her sides.  Her eyes locked with his as he reached up and cupped her breasts in his large palms, his thumbs rubbing her nipples into hard peaks. His eyes never left hers, and Lennie could feel the blush spreading across her cheeks and chest. When Michael pulled at her nipples through her bra, she cried out, unable to control it as she squirmed under his hands warm hands.

“You’re more beautiful today than the first time I saw you, luv.” He slid his hands up her arm to her shoulder, and his fingers slid under her bra straps and pulled them down her arms slowly. He pushed the straps down so that the bra was under her breasts, the movement forcing her breasts to jut forward as if they were beckoning him. Michael took the opportunity, and Lennie bit at her lip as she watched him lean down and take one rosy peak into his warm mouth.

“Oh god!” she whimpered as she twisted her fingers in his hair.  His tongue wetly laved her;  his teeth nipped and bit gently as his hot mouth fully encompassed her.  She held him to her as she pressed against him. He licked her one last time, sucking on her breast and releasing it with a soft pop as he moved back up to her mouth.  His hands were at her neck as his lips found hers, and Lennie trembled with want as her bare breasts pressed against his hard chest.

“We need to get in the shower now.”  He was positively growling with need, and Lennie could feel his hard arousal as it pressed against her stomach.  She slid her hands down his sides and urgently undid his jeans.  When her hands snaked inside his underwear and her fingers wrapped around his aching cock, Michael’s nostrils flared and he hissed against her lips.  He rubbed his forehead against hers, and pressed himself against her small fingers.

“Now, Lennie," he gritted from between clenched teeth.  "Shower. Now.”  He stepped back out of her reach and both hastily got rid of their clothes.  Without a word, Michael pulled her in the shower with him and pressed her against the cool of the shower wall, and her body broke out in another wave of goosebumps.  He lifted one leg and brought it up around his waist and rubbed his cock against her achingly wet core, and Lennie moaned against his mouth. 

"Please, Michael," she begged as she clawed at his back. 

Wordlessly, Michael lifted her and wrapped her legs around his waist as he pressed her up and against the wall.  Lennie felt him slide in, and with a groan, Michael buried his face against the crook of her neck.  Lennie moaned as he began moving, hard thrusts that shook her to her very core.  She wrapped her arms around him and held on with all the strength she could muster as Michael slammed into her again and again. The water cascaded down over them as Michael slid in and out.

“Oh god! Michael,” she panted in his ear and she nipped at his earlobe in frustration.  She wiggled her hips against him, trying to get him to hit the right spot. Michael, feeling her movements, swiveled his hips in that way that always sent her over the edge.  She could feel his fingers biting into the flesh below her ass, a mixture of pleasure and pain that would leave bruises tomorrow.

“Come for me, Lennie,” he grunted against her neck as he thrust into her.  Lennie felt her body coiling tightly, winding ever so deep inside her as Michael brought her higher and higher. She closed her eyes and let her head fall back against the shower wall as Michael slammed into her again. That thrust sent her over the edge, and she cried out his name as she came. She was so full with him, and she could intimately feel each time she clenched around him, her body gripping tightly as she convulsed against him.  Michael gripped her thighs tightly and held her to him as he exploded inside her, his cock pumping against her as she pulled at him.

“Oh fuck,” he grunted as he pressed into her. “Fuck!” He grunted again as he pressed into her one final time with a snap of his hips. He pulsed inside her a few times, his body hard and taut as he spent himself inside her.  He sucked in a deep breath and relaxed against her.

Lennie smiled happily against his neck as her legs began trembling against him.  They were both shaking as Michael slowly released his grip from under her thighs and let her slide down his body. Lennie was weak, and loose-limbed, her body exhausted and sated. They stood there for a few moments catching their breaths, and Lennie smiled again as Michael lifted his head and smiled down at her. His blue eyes were heavy with relaxation.

“Hi,” she mumbled shyly.  Michael smiled back and kissed her softly.

“Hello, beautiful.” His beard tickled her lips and Lennie giggled.

“We’re gonna be prunes if we don’t get outta here, Michael,” Lennie continued to giggle against him.

Michael slowly stood up straight and grabbed her shower gel from the caddy and squirted some in his hands. He cocked an eyebrow at her as he rubbed his hands together to make the soap bubble. 

“Let’s get you cleaned up, shall we?” he smirked as he brought his hands up to her breasts.  Lennie gasped at his audacity, but couldn’t control herself, and she closed her eyes as she arched wantonly into his hands. Michael’s hands glided over her breasts, cupping and lifting them as she moaned against him. 

Lennie cracked open an eye and saw Michael watching her, delighting in the moans he was pulling from her body as his hands slid over her skin.  She grabbed the body wash in her own hands and squirted some in her palms, and with a salacious grin, she slid her hands down his hard stomach and over his hardening cock.  His hands stilled on her breasts and he closed his eyes as she took him in her small hands.  She slid her hands up and down his cock, and it was her turn to gloat.  His jaw was tense as he opened his eyes and stared at her.

"You sure you're ready for this?" He warned her with a lop-sided smile.  

Lennie knelt down in front of him and traced his cock with her fingertips as she looked up at him with an impish grin.

"Are you?"

* * *

 

They were wrapped up around each other in bed, Lennie with her face pressed against Michael's chest and a leg haphazardly thrown over his hip.  His arms were wrapped around her and his lips rested lazily against her forehead.   The rain was slowly pelting the windows, and the occasional rumble of thunder echoed through the house as lightning lit up the sky.  Lennie was so drowsy, and she felt herself nodding off in Michael's arms as she lightly rubbed her fingertips against the sparse hair on his chest.

“I love you, Lennie.”  He kissed her on her forehead lightly and settled back on the pillow.

Lennie’s eyes popped open at those words spoken softly in the dark.  A few moments later and she would have been asleep, and would have completely missed Michael’s admission.  Did he assume she was asleep? Is that why he said it out loud?  Did he know she was wide awake now, fighting a smile that wanted to overtake her? She lay there, heart pounding in her chest as she contemplated what to do.  Michael made no move to indicate that he thought she was awake, and so she continued to lay there in shock.

He loved her.

After all this crazy stuff - all the lies, betrayal, and deceit - he said he loved her. Michael wrapped his arm around her tightly, and pulled her into him,  and Lennie snuggled in deeper against him.  She wasn’t sure what was going on, but she was in no way going to ruin it by talking. After a few moments, she could hear Michael’s soft snoring accompanied by his deep, even breathing.  She relaxed against him, and rubbed her cheek against his chest.  She didn’t bother to fight the smile any longer, and she didn’t bother to tamp down the feelings she’d been feeling for so long. 

She loved him, too.  She had always loved him. She had just taken the long road around to getting there. Her heart had known all along; now her brain did, too.


	31. Chapter 31

It was still rainy when Lennie finally awoke. The skies outside were dreary, and she could hear the low rumble of thunder off in the distance. She stretched languidly before sitting up, and had a smile when she did so.  She vaguely remembered Cooper banging on her door at some point, but Michael had gotten up and gone with him, and Lennie had fallen back asleep. How long ago that was, she had no idea.  She crawled out of bed and looked at her phone.

It was after 9am.

Damn.

She hadn’t slept this long in a really, really long time.  She made her way to the bathroom and brushed her teeth and hair, and put on some presentable clothes, and headed out into the kitchen.  She found Michael and Cooper sitting on the floor in front of the coffee table. They were playing some card game – _Go Fish_ or something - that she couldn’t make out.  When she caught Michael’s eye, he leapt up and ran to the kitchen, with a giggling Cooper in tow. To say she was shocked when Michael wrapped his arms around her and planted a kiss on her cheek was an understatement.  She pushed at his chest in an effort to escape, but he ignored her protests and lifted her up off the floor in a hug.

“Michael!” she hissed.  She wanted to tell Cooper about her and Michael, but this was not the way she had planned it at all!

“It’s okay, babe. Cooper said we could be boyfriend and girlfriend. I asked him.” Michael turned to Cooper who was watching his mother and Michael with an adorable smile from his perch on top of a nearby bar stool.

“Didn’t I, bud?” Michael asked him, and Cooper nodded happily.

“It’s okay, mama. I just told Michael he could be your boyfriend."  Cooper was busy plucking leftover cereal from his bowl as he stared at his mother. 

Michael set Lennie down but did not release her from his arms. He kissed her on her forehead, earning another round of giggles from Cooper.

“What did you tell him?” she whispered up at him, but Michael continued to grin down at her.  There was no way she could stay mad at him right now, but damn if she couldn’t try.

“He said he loves you, and when you love a woman, you want to kiss her!” Cooper blurted out, unable to control his giggles again! 

Lennie arched an eyebrow at Michael.  What exactly had he told their son??  Michael gave her his most innocent look, smiled,  and shrugged his shoulders.

 

 

“Do you wanna kiss him, mama?” Cooper asked.  He was pretty much squealing with delight, and Lennie couldn’t control the grin that crept up on her. She stared at her son with a bemused look; she’d never heard him laugh like this, and certainly never thought that he would be laughing like this over her introducing a man into her life.

“Do you wanna kiss me, mama?” Michael repeated Cooper’s words, but only Lennie could detect the change of tone in his voice.  She swallowed hard as she stared up at him, and Michael - that cocky bastard – knew he'd rattled her.  He winked at her, causing Lennie to narrow her eyes up at him.  She stepped out of his arms and scooped Cooper up for a hug. He struggled against her playfully, and she tickled him.

“I wanna kiss Cooper!” Lennie tickled Cooper and buried her nose at his neck, causing him to squeal again!

“Mama!” Cooper protested. “Put me down!!” He pushed against her arms, and Lennie released him to the ground. He ran off again to somewhere in the house, and Michael walked over to Lennie and pulled her in his arms.  He kissed her gently on her lips.

“Morning, babe,” he murmured against her lips.

“Hi,” Lennie whispered back.  All of a sudden she was shy, and she could feel the heat creeping into her cheeks as she blushed up at him.

“Did you sleep well?”

“I did, yes.  You?” she squeaked out, her high-pitched voice causing Michael to smirk at her.

“When I slept, yes. It was quite lovely,” he murmured as his hands snaked around to cup her ass and pull her to him. “I rather like sleeping – and not sleeping – with you, Lennie.”

Lennie squirmed against him, part of her wanting to drag him back to the bedroom and the other part worried about her son finding them again. Cooper!

“What did you tell him?” She demanded as she leaned back and looked up at him.

“I told him that I adore his mama, and I asked him if he would be okay if we were boyfriend and girlfriend. He agreed,” Michael shrugged as he dropped his arms and walked back around the island. He sat down at one of the stools and cocked an eyebrow at Lennie. She was still standing in the same spot, her mouth agape as she looked back at him.

“You did not?” she whispered. 

Michael nodded.  “I did.”

“He’s barely four years old, Michael!  He doesn’t understand,” she waved her hands around, “all this!”

“He’s a lot brighter than you give him credit for, luv.” Michael popped a piece of leftover cereal in his mouth. “He must get it from his father.”

Lennie forced a glare at him and snorted. “Pfft! I’m the psychologist here…”

Michael grinned at her, all teeth on display, and held out his hand to her. “Come ‘ere, doc.”

Lennie walked around the island and stood before him, and he reached out and pulled her into his arms yet again. Lennie stared at the spot on his neck where his shirt stopped, the freckles and stray hair holding her attention.

“I love you, Lennie.”

She jerked her head up and looked at him, wide-eyed with disbelief at hearing those words again.   Michael grinned back down at her and kissed her on the tip of her nose.

“Michael….I…,” Lennie stammered weakly. He placed a finger over her lips, silencing her.

“Shhh, luv. I’m not expecting anything from you. I just want you to know that what I said last night wasn’t some sort of half-assed attempt to sort of, mend things. I know you’re still caught up in some things, but I want you to know that I love you.  Late at night after we’ve made love, and early in the morning when we’re messing around in the kitchen. I love you.” He leaned down and kissed her softly on the lips.

“I know we’ve got a long way to go, and we both did shitty things, but I’m here to stay, Lennie.” He lightly traced her cheeks with his thumbs as he cupped her face. “I’m afraid you’re stuck with me.” He smiled down at her tenderly, and Lennie blinked rapidly in an effort to not cry.

“You’re gonna make me cry, you big jerk,” she sniffled out playfully.  Michael laughed and kissed her on the tip of her nose again.

“As long as it’s a happy cry, I’m fine with that.”

“It’s a very happy cry,” she sniffled again, and with a wobbly grin, she reached up and wrapped her arms around his neck and snuggled in. Michael wrapped his arms around her and held her tightly.

“Give me some time, okay?” she whispered against his neck. “This is all just happening so fast, and I need to wrap my mind around it, okay?”

“Take all the time you need, sweetheart.” Michael rubbed her back soothingly. “Whatever you need me to do, I’ll do it.”

Lennie leaned back and looked at him shyly before looking back down at his chest.

“What?” Michael asked warily. Lennie fiddled with his tee-shirt, picking at invisible lint.

“I was planning a birthday party for Cooper next weekend.” She looked up at Michael with a timid smile. “I thought maybe we could give him his daddy for his birthday?”

“You mean tell him?” Michael spoke carefully. Lennie nodded.

“Yeah. I think we need to before this goes any further.”  She smiled hopefully. “What do you think?”

“I don’t want to do it at his birthday party,” Michael began.

“Oh no! We’ll do it before, of course,” Lennie agreed. “It’s totally up to you, though.”

“Let’s do it,” Michael nodded in consent.  He closed his eyes and tilted his head back up towards the ceiling.

“What’s the matter?” Lennie asked, puzzled by his reaction.  Michael looked back down at her and shrugged.

“I’m sort of fucking nervous.” He shrugged again. “I don’t know why; I just am.”  Lennie placed her palm against his cheek and smiled at him.

“You’ve got nothing to worry about, babe. He’s gonna love you. I promise.  More than he already does,” she reassured him, and was rewarded with a beautiful half-smile.  Cooper was going to love him as much as she did, if not more.  Everything in her was screaming for her to say those three little words, but she couldn’t do it.  She couldn’t bring herself to do it. Why, she did not know…

Cooper came running into the kitchen, at full-speed as always, and stopped in his tracks when he saw his mother and Michael in each others' arms again.

“Eww!! You’re hugging again!” He giggled as he pointed at the pair.

“Oh, you wanna laugh at us, do ya then?” Michael chuckled as he untangled himself from Lennie’s arms.  Seeing Michael coming towards him, Cooper took off running back towards his bedroom with Michael in hot pursuit.   From her spot in the kitchen, Lennie could hear the squeals of laughter as Michael obviously caught his son. 

That laughter - that sound coming from her son – was something new, something unexpected.  She never believed that she would have ever had this second chance with Michael.  She never thought she would hear Cooper laughing like that with his father.  She certainly never thought she would feel the way she did about Michael.  It was terrifying her, the emotions she was feeling right now.  She took a deep breath to steady herself.  She had to take a chance.   For Michael,  for Cooper, and for herself - she had to take a chance.


	32. Chapter 32

Lennie curled up next to Cooper in his bed and kissed him on his forehead as she closed the book she had been reading to him.

“So I have a surprise for you, Coop,” she teased playfully.  Cooper’s little eyes opened wide and he sat up in his bed and stared at her.

“A birthday present?” he asked with an excited smile.

“Kinda. It’s part of your birthday present.  Well, one of them anyways,” Lennie chuckled at his excitement.

“So what is it? Tell me, mama!” Cooper whined and Lennie laughed as she pulled him down to her for a hug.  He tried to struggle out of her arms but she held him fast.

“You have to be still if you want me to tell you,” she proposed.  Cooper stilled in her arms, but just barely. “Can you be still?”

“Yes!” he muttered petulantly.  Lennie did her best to hide her smile from her impatient child.

“So remember last time when you and Trevor talked about you not having a dad? Remember how upset you were?” Lennie asked gently.  Cooper laced his tiny fingers with hers, and his brows furrowed in concentration as he thought back to that conversation.  Lennie remembered it vividly.  Trevor had come to the park with his dad.   At some point, Trevor had asked Cooper why his dad never came to the park with him, and that set off a firestorm.  Cooper had been upset for days, repeatedly asking Lennie where his dad was, and why his dad wasn’t there with them. Lennie’s heart broke anew as she thought back to that time.

“Do you remember, baby?” she gently asked again.

“Uhmm-hmmm,” Cooper mumbled again. “And remember I was so mad at Trevor?”

“I do, baby.”

“Yeah I didn’t want to be his friend.”

“Okay, so what if I told you that you have a daddy?” Lennie asked carefully.  In all her years of training and counseling, she had no idea how to word this.  How the hell did you tell your kid something like this??

“You found him?” Cooper asked excitedly, and Lennie blanched a bit.  Michael hadn't exactly been lost....

“Yes. No…In a way, yes. I found him, Coop.”  She didn’t know what to say, didn’t know how to explain this to him without being blunt. “What would think about having a daddy?”

Cooper sat up and turned around in her arms, his blue eyes aglow with happiness.

“He’ll take me to the park? And he’ll watch movies with me?” Cooper bounced excitedly. “Will he watch _Guardians of the Galaxy_ with me?”

Lennie was half-overjoyed and half-heartbroken at that last statement; Cooper had already watched _Guardians_ multiple times with Michael. It was one of their favorite things to do together.

“I’m sure he will, baby,” she agreed with a weak smile. Cooper hopped off his bed and ran over to his little television and pulled his most favorite movie out. He clutched it to his chest as he ran back over to Lennie and pounced on the bed beside her. He scooted back down in her arms and held his movie close to his little chest and looked up at her.

“Are we going to see him soon?” he asked hopefully. His blue eyes were huge in his face with that innocent, child-like wonder that only the littlest of humans still had. Lennie felt a bit of the weight that she’d been carrying around for so long begin to lift from her heart.  Maybe things wouldn’t be so bad.  Cooper seemed to be handling the news well, all things considered.

“We can go pick him up tomorrow at the airport?  What do you say?” Lennie asked with a grin.

“In our truck?” Cooper asked curiously, and Lennie nodded.

“Yep. In my truck. We’ll go get him, and he’ll stay with us for a while, and he’ll even come to your birthday party. What do you think about that?”

“Can we go right now?” Cooper peered up at her, and Lennie couldn’t control her laughter. He was so serious!

“No, sweetie.  He’s on a plane right now trying to come back. We’ll go pick him up tomorrow, okay?” Lennie smoothed her son’s hair down and kissed him on his forehead again. She sat up and stared down at him. “So, you gotta go to sleep, okay?  When you wake up, it’ll only be a few hours before we leave to the airport.”

Lennie stood up and tucked Cooper in. “Night, baby.” She headed to the door.

“Mama?” Cooper called out to her, stopping Lennie in her tracks. She turned back around at the door.

“Yeah, baby?”

“What about Michael?” Cooper asked innocently.  Lennie’s breath caught in her throat and her heart pounded against her ribs.

“What about him, baby?” Lennie’s spoke softly; she did not trust her voice.

“Will he come back since I have a daddy?” Cooper’s little voice was trembling, as was his chin.  He was sad at the thought of not seeing Michael again.   Lennie walked back over to him and pulled him into her arms for a hug.  He sniffled and wiped his little eyes.

“Oh, baby!” Lennie’s eyes were teary as well as she held his tiny body against her. “I think Michael will be just fine with your daddy.  I am sure they’ll like each other.”

“Okay,” Cooper mumbled, unconvinced.

“You like Michael, huh sweetie?” Lennie asked as she stroked his hair.  He nodded against her.

“I told Uncle Jacob that I wanted Michael to be my daddy,” Cooper whispered secretively.  Lennie bit at her lip in another concentrated effort to not cry. She had been so wrong, so very wrong in the way she handled this whole mess.

“I like Michael, too, sweetie,” Lennie mumbled.  She didn’t know what to say.

“Well you have to ‘cause he’s your boyfriend!” Cooper stated matter-of-factly.  Just like that, her tiny, almost 4-year old was back to his usual direct self.  Lennie laughed through the tears that had filled her eyes.

“That’s true. You do have to like your boyfriend,” she agreed. “Okay, Coop.  Let’s get you to bed, okay?  We’ve got a big day tomorrow.” She tucked him back in again, kissed him on his forehead, and walked to the door.

“Night baby. I love you.”

“Love you too, mama!” Cooper called sleepily.  Lennie shut off the light and pulled the door shut just a bit, and headed out into the living room.

She collapsed on the couch and let the tears overtake her. She had been so wrong, for so long, and on so many levels.  So completely wrong.

* * *

 

“How much longer, mama?” Cooper whined from the back seat. 

Lennie looked at him through the rear-view mirror with a smile. She pulled her truck into the parking lot and found and empty spot.  She’d already talked to Michael and they would wait here for him rather than go in and cause a scene.  She unbuckled and turned around to Cooper.

“He should be here shortly.” She reached between the seats and unbuckled him and he scrambled out of his seat. “You got your card ready, baby?"

Cooper had wanted to make a card for his new daddy, and Lennie had struggled through another round of sadness/happiness as she helped him draw a picture of him, his daddy, and her.  She didn't know how much more of this her heart could take.

Cooper dug through his little backpack and pulled out a wrinkled scrap of blue construction paper.  He held it up proudly. “Yep!”

Lennie turned around and stared at her cell phone that had just buzzed in her hand. It was a text from Michael.

**Michael: Just landed. Give me a few to get my luggage.**

She sighed in relief.  Thank god they’d gotten here right as he landed.  It was nearing 11pm, so at least they had less people to deal with this time.  Cooper had been bouncing off the walls all day, and she thought a few times she might lose her mind.  They’d originally planned for an early morning flight, and had even showed up at the airport, but had to turn around when it fell through. Michael’s plane had been rerouted, and then one had been delayed;  it had just been a nightmare, but it was finally over.  She leaned her head back against the headrest and watched carefully for Michael.

“Is he here now,mama?” Cooper whined again from the back seat.  Lennie sighed.  That 2 minutes of peace had been great while it lasted…

“No sweetie, but he’s coming,” she murmured.  She saw a slim figure wearing a ball cap and her heart sped up for just a moment, but it wasn’t Michael.  Damnit.  False alarm. She leaned her head back against the head rest. Her phone buzzed in her hand again and she jumped.  She was so damn nervous!

**Michael: Coming out**

Her heart started thumping in her chest as she searched for him. Finally!  She saw the tall, lean figure that she would know anywhere.   He had a bag thrown over his shoulder and was dragging a suitcase. 

“Okay Cooper! Close your eyes, okay?” She turned around and smiled at him.

“Is he here?” Cooper asked excitedly.

“Yes, but you gotta close your eyes, okay?” Lennie repeated.  She turned back around and started grinning as Michael approached the truck.  He noticed her and started smiling as well, and she had to control the urge to jump out of the truck and launch herself at him. That could wait for later, she told herself.  _Just be patient!_ Michael walked up to the driver’s side and leaned in and gave her a quick kiss on the lips before heading for the back of the truck.  He opened the back door slowly.

“Can I open my eyes now?” Cooper whined from behind his fingers as he heard the door opening.

“Yeah, you can open them now.” Lennie smiled as she turned in her seat to watch his reaction when he opened his eyes.  He opened them, and blinked up at Michael in confusion. He looked to his mother and then back to Michael.

“Hey, bud,” Michael grinned down at him.  Cooper continued to stare at Michael but didn’t speak, and Lennie started to worry. 

“Michael’s your daddy, baby,” Lennie gently explained.  Cooper looked at her again, and then back to Michael, and his little eyes filled with tears that very nearly broke Lennie’s heart.  He crawled over the seat and into Michael’s arms, and wrapped his little arms around his neck.  Michael rubbed his back soothingly as he pulled him out from the truck and held him.

“It’s okay, bud,” Michael murmured against his ear. "It's okay, yeah?  I'm here now."  

Cooper sniffled a few times as he continued to hug Michael’s neck with all his might.  Lennie crawled out of the driver’s seat and moved into Michael’s waiting arm.  He pulled her into his side, and she wrapped her arm around Cooper’s back. They stood there for some time, none speaking, all caught up in their own thoughts and feelings.  Finally Michael broke the silence.

“I’ve brought you something, Cooper.” His voice was gruff, and Lennie could tell he was fighting to reign in his own emotions.  Again, she felt an overwhelming sense of guilt and she wiped at the tears that were trying to roll down her cheeks.

“A toy?” Cooper sniffled against Michael’s neck, and both he and Lennie laughed.

“Sort of,” Michael chuckled.  He attempted to pry Cooper from his arms and hand him to Lennie, but his son refused to move, and wrapped his legs around Michael’s waist.

“Lennie, luv, can you look in my bag there?” Michael motioned to his bag behind them.

Lennie reached down and unzipped Michael’s suitcase.  She was surprised to find it contained a large Rocket stuffed animal, and not much else.  She pulled it out with a smile and handed it to Michael.  He leaned back.

“Coop? You wanna see what I’ve brought you, then?” Michael asked gently.  Cooper leaned back, his little face red and splotchy and Lennie wiped at his cheeks where his tears were still fresh. He started smiling when he saw what Michael had brought him.

“Is that for me?” he asked shyly.  Michael laughed and kissed him on his cheek.

“It sure is. Brought especially from New York, just for you.” 

Cooper shyly took the stuffed raccoon in his arms and hugged it tightly.

“You like it, then?” Michael asked his son softly, and Copper nodded happily.

“Can he sleep with me, mama?” Cooper craned his neck around to see his mother, and Lennie rubbed his back softly.

“Of course, baby.” She turned to Michael.  She didn't want to push either of them too much, and now seemed like a good time to get home.  “You ready to go home?”

He grinned at her and pulled her in for another hug, and kissed her on her forehead.  Cooper started laughing at his parents’ display of affection, causing Michael to turn back to his son with an arched eyebrow.

“You ready to go home, bud?” He asked as he carried Cooper back to the truck and helped him in his seat.   Cooper was getting tired; it was evident as his eyes were already closing and he was continually yawning.  He crawled in and held Rocket in his lap happily.  Michael helped him buckle in his booster seat, and ruffled his hair gently before closing the door, and he and Lennie climbed in the truck, with Lennie driving.

“You ready?” she turned to Michael with a smile.  He smiled back wearily. 

“To go home? Absolutely.” He grinned at her as he reached over and pulled her hand to his lips and kissed the back of it tenderly.  Lennie blinked back a fresh wave of tears and smiled back at him.  She did not deserve this man or that child in the backseat.

“I missed you,” she whispered.  Michael kissed her hand again. He nodded at the steering wheel with a tired smile.

“Well let’s go then, babe.  That way you can show me just how much you’ve missed me.” His voice had grown husky with hidden innuendo, and Lennie couldn’t control the gasp that escaped her lips.  Michael winked at her and then dropped her hand as he leaned his head back against the headrest.  Him and that damn wink!

She turned around to look at Cooper, and was thankful when she found him already sleeping. He had his arms wrapped around Rocket, and his little head was tilted back as he slept.  With one last look over at Michael, she put the truck in gear and headed home.   After a few minutes of silence, she glanced back over at him, and just like his son, he was fast asleep, his head lolling against the seat.  She turned her attention back to the road, a happy smile in place.

She was going to tell him; enough with all the secrets, and lies, and hiding. 

She was going to tell Michael she loved him.  It finally seemed like things were heading in the right direction and she wanted to take that step forward with both Michael and Cooper. Maybe she could finally put the past, and all the bad mistakes she’d made behind them all.  

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> That made me cry, and I wrote it! Hope you all went along the angst train with me ;-) Comments are always welcome!


	33. Chapter 33

“Michael?” Lennie gently prodded his shoulder. “Michael? We’re home.”

Michael opened his eyes and looked around in confusion, but smiled tiredly when his eyes landed on Lennie.

“We’re here already?” He stretched his arms out in front of him.

“Yeah.” Lennie turned around to look at her son, who was still fast asleep. “You wanna bring him inside? I can get your bags.”

“Yeah, that’s fine,” Michael agreed.  He climbed out of his seat and opened the back door.  He gently unbuckled Cooper and lifted him – along with Rocket – into his arms and carried him to the house.  Lennie had already opened the door for them. 

“Just put him in his bed,” she whispered as he walked past her with Cooper in his arms.

Lennie walked back out to the truck and pulled out Michael's suitcase and backpack, along with her purse, and headed back in the house. She was locking the door behind her just as Michael came back into the living room.  Without missing a beat, he walked up to her and pushed her against the door, pinning her with his body. Lennie barely had a chance to catch her breath before he kissed her. She clutched at his shoulders, the tiredness she felt earlier a thing of the past.  Michael tugged on her lower lip with his as he released her.

“You said you missed me,” Michael murmured against her lips, and Lennie nipped at his, earning a groan from him.

“So much.” She nipped again, and brought her hand around to cup him through his jeans.  She was shocked at how hard he was already. “I think you missed me, too.” Michael groaned again, and pushed himself against her hand eagerly.

“You’re driving me fucking crazy, Lennie!” He reached around her and cupped her ass, pulling her up against him. Lennie giggled into his neck as she wrapped her arms around him.

“We should go to bed,” she murmured as she ran her fingers through the curls at the nape of his neck. 

Nodding in complete agreement, Michael kissed her once more and released her, and they hurriedly walked back to the master bedroom. Lennie locked the door behind them as Michael unzipped his jacket and took it off. It was followed quickly by his tee shirt. He crooked a finger at Lennie, and watched with a wolfish grin as she walked towards him slowly.  Why she was sometimes so shy around him, he would never understand, but damn if he didn’t find it endearing, not to mention way too fucking sexy! 

When she stood trembling before him, Michael cupped her cheeks and brought his head down for a sweet kiss.  It was soft, and sweet, and gentle, but quickly morphed into something much, much hotter.  When she whimpered against his lips, Michael guided her back to the bed and crawled over her as he pushed her down. With one hand braced on the bed, Michael kissed her urgently while his other hand reached down and pulled her shirt up. He pulled it as far as he could before Lennie reached down and pulled it off the rest of the way, up and over her head. His hands were on her breasts in an instant, his warm palms rubbing her nipples into hard little peaks.  Lennie rubbed her hands across his chest eagerly, and Michael hissed when her fingers found his nipples just as hard.  She tweaked them gently, and Michael let go of her mouth to rub his forehead against hers.

“Fuck!” He growled against her temple as she continued rubbing his nipples. Michael reached under her and undid her bra, and pulled it off her. He sat up and undid her jeans and ripped them off as well, and Lennie was fairly certain that he ripped her panties in the process.  He pulled his jeans off and joined her, spreading her legs wide as he settled between them.

“Sorry about your knickers, luv,” he grunted against her lips. He rubbed his body against hers, and Lennie felt herself explode with wetness at the feeling of him between her legs.

“It’s okay,” she whispered weakly.  She gripped Michael’s waist with her legs and began undulating her hips against him in an effort to ease the ache at her core.

“We gotta slow down, babe.” Michael's voice was gravelly against her neck as he pushed his cock against her wet heat.  Lennie pulled him to her, her nails digging in deep in the skin of his back.

“Why?” she whined and rolled her hips against him again.  Michael gave up, and with one hand guided himself into her.  He sank into her, and both he and Lennie sighed in relief. It was short-lived, though, as Lennie began frantically pawing at his back, her heels digging into his ass as she pulled him to her.

“Please, Michael! Don’t go slow!” she whimpered against him.  Michael felt her small hands at his waist, pulling at him, and he slammed into her, over and over again. Lennie pushed her head back in the mattress and arched her chest into him.  It only took a few thrusts before Michael carried them both over the edge, and Lennie cried out his name in a muffled scream as she convulsed around him.  Michael followed quickly after, his body strained and shuddering against hers.

“Oh fuck,” Michael grunted. “Fuck!” He slammed in her one last time, his feet driving into the mattress in an effort to get as close to her as possible . Lennie held him to her tightly, panting as he stilled inside her. Michael breathed heavily into her neck as he tried to regain his bearings.

“Goddamn, Lennie,” he murmured as he kissed her neck weakly. “Do you have any idea how much I love you, sweetheart?” He leaned up on his forearms and looked down at her with a tender smile. He leaned down to kiss her gently, and Lennie kissed him back softly, gently nuzzling his nose with hers. She cupped Michael’s face with her hands and traced his cheekbones with her fingertips almost reverently. Michael halted for a moment and stared down at her with brows drawn together. He was still breathing heavy, and his eyes were still stormy with need.

“What is it, babe?” he murmured as he tried to lean down and claim her mouth again.  Lennie pushed her head back into the mattress to maintain distance as she held him at bay. He leaned back and stared at her, his blue eyes searching her face. “What?”

Lennie took a deep breath.

“I love you, Michael,” she whispered nervously up at him. Michael’s features softened and he smiled down at her.  She could see the difference come over him; it was almost palpable the reaction her admission caused.

“Say it again.”  He was smiling so big.  The smile with all the teeth and nose crinkle that she loved so much.

“I love you.”

Michael pulled her up with him and scooted back to the head of the bed. He sat down, his back against the headboard and pulled her down on top of him, her legs on either side as she straddled him. He looked up at her as his fingers rubbed tiny circles into the sensitive skin on top of her thighs.

“You love me?” He dropped his head back against the headboard as he stared up at her.  Lennie nodded.

“Very much.” She flattened her palms against his chest as she leaned down to kiss him on his very stubbly chin.

“How much is very much?” His voice was deep with desire, and Lennie ground herself against him. They were both very, very sensitive still, but she could feel him hardening again already. She smiled into his neck, and she felt his fingers dig into her hips as he held her to him.

“More than I love alligator.” She nipped his Adam’s apple with her teeth, earning another small groan from him.

“What else?”

“More than I love crawdads,” she giggled as she kissed along the lines of his collarbone and up his muscled shoulder.

“That’s gross actually…”

Lennie leaned back with a smile and cupped his scruffy cheeks again and stared down at him.

“I do believe I love you more than I love myself, Michael.” She felt tears pricking at her eyes and she bit at her lip to control the trembling of her chin. “It scares me half-to-death.”

Michael reached up and  gently pushed her hair off her forehead and tucked it behind her ear.

“You love me more than you love yourself, and I love you more than I love myself.  So we sort of both love each other a lot.” He smiled as he rubbed his thumb along her jaw.  Lennie turned her head into his caress and sighed. “What are you afraid of, sweetheart?”

Lennie didn’t open her eyes as she spoke.

“Everything I’ve ever loved has been taken from me.  Even you, in the beginning…” she trailed off as she realized what she’d just done.  She glanced up at Michael and quickly glanced away. She did not want to start an argument – not now – not after what they’d just shared.

“Lennie, I am sorry about that.  I’ll always be sorry about that. That fear that you’re feeling now? Being scared to love me? That’s how I felt in the beginning with you, but like a chickenshit, I fucked it up. I was scared shitless, you know, and I’ve regretted it every day since.”

Lennie looked down at his chest as he continued.

“Trust me that I’ll never make that mistake again, luv.” Michael tilted her chin up so that she would look at him, and he smiled with regret as he saw tears glossing over her beautiful brown eyes.

“How do you know that it won’t happen again? How do you know, Michael?”

“Because I’ve been through hell and back ever since you walked out on me.  Jumping from one thing to the next, never feeling sort of safe, you know? I’ve never felt more at home than I did when we walked through that door tonight.  I’m done running, and I’m done being scared. I want you, and I want Cooper, and I want more babies, and dogs, and all that stuff that couples do. I want it with you, Lennie. Only you.” Michael reached up and wiped a tear off her cheek, and pulled her down for a gentle kiss.

“I’m so sorry too, Michael. For keeping Cooper from you. I was so wrong,” Lennie sniffled out.

“It’s done, sweetheart.” Michael smiled up at her. “It’s done, okay?”

Lennie nodded timidly and leaned down and buried her face in his neck. Michael wrapped his arms around her and held her close to him as he ran his hands up and down her back.

“Does Steve know yet?” Lennie giggled against him.

“Indeed. He’s coming for Cooper’s party, and his exact words to me were _‘You and Lennie better have your shit straight, or I’ll personally knock your idiotic heads together myself!’_ ” Lennie laughed as Michael recited those words in his best "Steve McQueen impression."  She shifted against him and Michael stilled under her at the movement.  Lennie smiled a little wicked smile to herself at the reaction she could glean from him.

“I guess we better get our shit straight then, huh?” Lennie provocatively squirmed against him again, and Michael hissed from between his teeth.

“I think you need to keep your little ass still, luv.” Michael gripped her thighs tightly and pushed up against her.

“Or what?” Lennie teased as she ground her hips against him, and she closed her eyes and bit her lip when she felt his cock rub against her. Michael pushed up against her again, and Lennie groaned, her fingernails biting into his shoulders.

“Are you teasing me, woman?” Michael’s voice had grown heavy with desire, the deep timber sending shivers up her body, and she gasped when Michael lifted her pushed her onto her back on the bed. He crawled over her, and she gasped again when he cupped her breast with one hand and his mouth descended on the other. His lips teased her into an aching hardness, and his teeth were almost painfully biting in intensity. She squirmed under him, grasping at his shoulders, trying desperately to pull him to her. Michael pushed at her, his cock hard and insistent again.

“Is that what you want, babe?” He pushed himself at her again, and Lennie moved her body so that she could feel the tip pressing into her.

“Yes, Mich-” She cried out when he pushed himself inside her again. He slid in, all the way to the hilt, and Lennie luxuriated in the feeling of him filling her so intimately. 

“I love you, Lennie,” Michael breathed against her lips as he slowly rocked his hips against her.  Lennie tangled her fingers in his hair at the nape of his neck, and nipped at the corners of his mouth. 

“I love you more, Michael,” she whispered back.

It was different this time, slower, and much gentler. There was no shortage of tender kisses, loving caresses, or murmurs of ‘I love you.’ This time was more about the two showing their love for each other through touch and taste; their hands, lips, and body filled in the blanks when words could not.  When they were done, they lay holding each other for some time before they decided to get dressed. Although it was tempting, staying in bed nude was not feasible with Cooper down the hall.

With Michael already done, Lennie finished cleaning up and got dressed in the bathroom.  She walked out just in time to see Michael carrying Cooper back to their bed and laying him down gently in the spot between them. She fought back tears pf happiness as she crawled in on the other side of her son and pulled the covers up around her. 

“Do you mind?” Michael whispered across to her over his son’s head.

“Of course not,” Lennie whispered back, and lay her head down on the pillow. Michael lay his head down as well, and both stared at their son in the dim light.

“I love you, Lennie,” Michael whispered again.  He reached over and took her hand and intertwined his fingers with hers and brought it to his lips for a kiss.

“And I love you, Michael,” Lennie whispered back softly. 

* * *

 

That night, all three of them would sleep together.

Long after Lennie was asleep, Michael lay awake, staring down at the two people he loved more than anything in this world. Cooper had curled up in a little ball and was pressed up against Lennie. Her arm was draped loosely over him, and her chin rested atop his head.  He smiled to himself as he thought that they must have slept like this many times before.  He had meant it earlier when he’d told her that he felt at home, but that was an understatement.  Right now, with the quiet of the rain softly falling outside, and with Lennie and Cooper’s soft breathing next to him, he’d never felt more at ease. He had never felt like he was simply _supposed to be_ somewhere til today. 

Why he had run all those years, he had no idea.  Maybe he would never know.  Regardless, he knew without a shadow of doubt that there would never be another movie, another accomplishment, or another adventure that could compare with what he had right here.  He was home.  For the first time in his life, he was home.


	34. Chapter 34

“Well, baby, if you want to call him daddy you can,” Lennie plucked another piece of pancake off her plate and popped it in her mouth as she stared across the island her son.  While Michael was still asleep, they'd been sitting here for nearly an hour, debating on what Cooper should call Michael. He wanted to call him daddy, but was still hesitant, and Lennie didn't want to push either of them before they were ready.

“He really is my daddy?” Cooper smiled, and Lennie smiled back.

“Yep. He really is.  I think he would like you to call him daddy.” Lennie stood up and took her plate to the sink. “Maybe you should bring your daddy some breakfast in bed? I think he would like that.”

Cooper shoved another piece of his pancake in his mouth. “He likes to eat in bed? I wanna eat in bed, too.”

Lennie laughed as she brought a plate of pancakes back to the island. She dribbled some syrup on the stack and pushed it across to Cooper.

“Let’s go take it to daddy, okay? You carry the pancakes and I’ll bring him some orange juice.  What do you think?”

Cooper nodded and slid off his stool. He hastily wiped his mouth with his paper towel and then stood patiently as his mother handed him the plate of food. She grabbed the orange juice and followed Cooper as they headed to her bedroom. Michael was still asleep, sprawled across the bed and laying on his stomach, clutching a pillow under his head. Lennie smiled as Cooper set the pancakes on the bedside table and crawled up on the bed.  When he was next to Michael, he turned back to look at Lennie uncertainly.

“Wake him up, Coop,” she whispered in encouragement.  Cooper leaned over and shook Michael’s arm gently.

“Daddy?” Cooper whispered loudly in that way that only kids could do. Michael didn’t stir, so Cooper shook him again. “Daddy?” It was more of whisper-yell this time, and Lennie grinned as Michael stirred. Cooper leaned over him and got right in Michael’s face.

“Daddy? Are you awake?” Cooper asked in his normal voice this time, and Lennie couldn’t control her laughter at his impatient tone. She watched as Michael’s arm snaked out and grabbed Cooper, and their son squealed as Michael started tickling him mercilessly.

“I’m awake now, bud!” Michael continued tickling Cooper as he squealed and giggled.  Finally Cooper managed to escape and crawl to the edge of the bed. He stood up pointed to the plate on the bedside as Michael rolled over on his back and sat up against the headboard. 

“We brought you food, daddy!” Cooper exclaimed. “Mama said you hafta eat, okay?  I'll be right back!” He started jumping on the bed and slid off and ran out of the room.  Lennie laughed after him, and turned her attention back to Michael who was now sitting up against the headboard.

“Is he always like that? Jumping from one thing to another?” Michael asked with a grin as Lennie walked over and set the orange juice down. She arched an eyebrow at his question.

"Like his father? Yes. All the time," she teased, and Michael ran a hand through his hair with a chuckle.  She stared down at him for a moment. He was something else - sitting in her bed, shirtless, hair a mess.  Damn but he was sexy, she thought as she nibbled on her lower lip.  Watching her, Michael reached out, grabbed her hand and pulled her down on top of him.

“Morning, luv,” Michael murmured against her lips. Lennie shifted on his lap, and Michael groaned against her and his hands gripped her hips tightly. “You know what happens in the morning, right?”

Lennie wiggled again with a giggle, and Michael arched an eyebrow at her in warning.

“Your son brought you food,” Lennie said softly.  She leaned her head against his shoulder and sighed happily as Michael wrapped his arms around her.

“My son called me daddy."  His voice was low against her hair. Lennie could hear the strained emotion in his whisper, and she leaned back to look up at him. His blue eyes were glossy with unshed tears, and he smiled sheepishly down at her and shrugged. She placed a palm against his cheek and smiled softly.

“I love you, Michael."  She kissed him softly on his lips. “Your son loves you, too.” She felt tears pricking at her own eyes as she reached up and wiped an errant tear off his cheek as it rolled down.

“He does, Michael.” She kissed him again softly. 

They were still kissing when Cooper came running back into the bedroom, dragging Rocket behind him on the floor. 

“Daddy!” He launched himself on the bed and crawled over to Michael and Lennie, but stopped short. 

“Eww! Why are you always kissing each other?” Cooper asked curiously. His little eyebrows were drawn up together and he was making a face, and Lennie laughed and buried her nose against Michael’s chest as he too laughed.

“Cause we love each other,” Michael answered with a chuckle. He beckoned for Cooper to come closer, and his son crawled over to him. “What do you wanna do today?”

“Uhmmm,” Cooper cocked his head to the side as he thought carefully. “Go to the park?”

“You want to? Go to the park?”

Cooper nodded happily.

“Okay, off you go then.  Get dressed and we’ll go, okay?” Michael ruffled Cooper’s hair before he scrambled off the bed, once again dragging Rocket behind him by one leg.

“Okay, daddy!” Cooper called as he ran out of their bedroom and back down the hall to his.  Lennie leaned back and stared up at Michael with a knowing smile. He was again teary eyed, and she looped her arms around his neck.

“I love you.” She kissed his cheek again.

“I’m sorry,” he apologized as he wiped at his eyes with his fingers. “I’m such a gimp, yeah?”

“I don’t even know what that is, but I’m sure you’re not that, Michael,” Lennie giggled as she kissed his cheek again. “You’re a daddy, and a good one, and I love you, and Cooper loves you,  and you should never apologize for feeling the way you do.”

She and Michael sat for a few moments, neither speaking as they held each other.  Finally Michael spoke.

“You coming with us?” His voice was still gruff, and Lennie hugged him a little tighter before releasing him.

“If you want me to, but I can stay back if you want to go alone with Coop for a while.”

“Do you mind? I sort of do, you know? It’s all very awkward for me right now, and I sort of want to form a relationship with him on my own terms.” His voice was hesitant – cautious even – and Lennie felt her love swell for him.  She nodded gently in understanding.

“Whatever you need, baby.” She kissed him again and crawled off his lap and stood. “I’ve got stuff to do around here, anyways.” 

She stretched, arching her back provocatively as she knew Michael would take notice.  In an instant he was on her, standing behind her with his arms wrapped around her.  She could feel his arousal at her lower back and she giggled again at his sharp intake of breath as she backed into him.

"You see what you do to me?" he murmured against her as he bit her earlobe playfully.  Lennie wiggled against him again with delight, and Michael hissed between his teeth.  "Fuck, woman!"

"Well I'd like you to fuck me, but you're going to the park, remember?"  Lennie pushed out of his arms and sauntered off to the bathroom, pulling her tee-shirt up and off her head as she did so.  She turned at the door and smiled at him, her tee-shirt clutched against her breasts.  He was standing there, arms crossed over his chest, and shook his head at her as he watched her.  Lennie blew him a kiss and walked into the bathroom, closing the door behind her.  

She had just pulled off her shorts when Michael walked in and shut the door behind him, causing her to jump.  She watched him through the mirror and clutched her shorts to her chest in an effort to cover herself somewhat.

"He's watching a cartoon while I get dressed,"  Michael explained easily as he stalked towards her. 

Lennie's breath caught at the look in his eyes as he stood behind her, and her heart may have skipped a few beats when he reached around and pulled the shorts from her shaking hands and tossed them against the wall.  He  turned her around and reached down, gripping her below her ass, and set her up on the sink counter, and pushed her legs apart roughly. His blue eyes were stormy with desire when he leaned over her, and his hands gripped her thighs as he nuzzled her neck with his lips. 

"You should never tease me like that, luv," he growled as he kissed along her jaw.  Lennie tilted her head back, and she groaned when she felt his hand come up to cup her breast through her bra. Her nipples were already tight and sensitive against his palm, and she smiled to herself; if this was what happened when she teased him, she'd do it all the time.  All the fucking time.

"What are you doing, Michael?"  She moaned as he pulled her panties off, leaving her bare and trembling before him, wearing only her bra.  She gasped when she felt his hand at her clit, spreading the moisture around her sex as he circled the tight bundle of nerves with the rough pad of his thumb.

"You said you wanted me to fuck you, so here I am."  He shoved a finger inside her, and Lennie bowed up off the counter, clutching at Michael's shoulders as he fingered her mercilessly.  "Is this what you want?" 

His eyes were hooded, heavy with desire, and Lennie squirmed against him.  She reached down and cupped him through his sleep pants, and bit her lower lip when she felt how hard he was.  He shoved another finger inside her, and Lennie's eyes rolled back as she gripped his cock tightly.  Michael pushed his forehead against hers and he removed his fingers from her, and lowered the waist of his pants until his cock sprung out. Lennie wrapped her legs around him, her heels digging in his ass as she urged him forward, and Michael entered her with one swift thrust. 

"Ahh fuck!" he groaned against her mouth as he rocked his hips against hers.  He ripped her bra off, busting the clasps at the back in his need to feel her skin against his. 

"That's what I want.  Right there, Michael," Lennie whimpered as she rolled her hips against him. 

She wrapped her arms around his neck and held on, her breast flattened against his chest as Michael fucked her on the bathroom counter.  It was over in a matter of minutes, both so worked up and aroused, and both so worried that their son would come knocking on the door.  When it was over,  Lennie leaned back against the mirror, and Michael collapsed across her chest.  Both were breathing heavily, and there was a light sheen of sweat covering them.  Lennie lazily ran her fingers through Michael's hair.

"He'll be here soon, baby,"  Lennie remarked.  "I'm surprised he waited this long." 

Micheal lifted his head and groggily stared at her with a lop-sided smile.  He was so cute right now, eyes crossing with tiredness and hair sticking up everywhere. 

"I'm so fuckin' tired right now," he drawled out in a dramatically whiny voice.  Lennie shook her head at him and kissed him on the tip of his nose.  She pushed at his shoulders and he pulled her up with him.

"Too bad, daddy.  You said you were taking your son to the park,"  Lennie smiled as she untangled herself from him and slid off the counter. 

"I'm getting in the shower."  She pointed at him with her finger. "You need to get dressed."

Michael took a deep breath and grabbed a towel off the shower rod, and draped it around himself loosely at the waist.

"I'm gonna go check on him."  He headed to the bathroom door, but stopped before stepping out, and turned back to Lennie. "Then I'm coming back to get in the shower with you, so wait for me.  I need to take a shower, too."  He waggled his eyebrows at her, and with a grin stepped out and closed the door behind him.

Lennie shook her head and laughed as she pulled the shower curtain closed and stepped under the water.  He was insane.  She grabbed the shower gel and squirted some in her hands....

But then Michael's order for her to wait for him flashed through her mind again, along with the images of them just a few minutes ago on the sink counter....

She _could_ wait...

What would it hurt, after all?

And who wants to waste water on two showers anyway?  It's bad for the environment....

Better to shower together.....

Do her part to save water....

She put the shower gel back up on the caddy and waited.

 

 

 

 


	35. Chapter 35

Lennie watched as Michael drove away with Cooper, and she smiled as she shut the front door and locked it behind her. It was weird having the house all to herself.  It was way too quiet, but everything just felt better.  It was like the air had been cleared, and the house felt lighter.  She and Michael were in a good place and Cooper was happy; things were coming together the way they should have all along. She walked through the house and into the kitchen.  At least she could work on Cooper’s party without distraction. She grabbed her phone and notepad and sat at the table, and was scribbling notes when her phone buzzed on the table.

“Lennie? It’s me.” Jacob's voice was strained, and Lennie immediately got worried.

“What’s wrong? Is it Leon?”

“No. It’s my mama.” His voice cracked, and Lennie stood up, a hand at her throat.  She hadn't been able to go down to visit Helene as of yet, and she hoped it wasn't too late.

“Lennie…can you come, please? I know it’s awkward, and I know you’ve got Cooper, but I really need you to come.”

“No, no. Michael’s here. He’s got Cooper. Let me call him and let him know, and I’ll head down, okay?”

“Okay.” Jacob’s voice was small, and it was heartbreaking to hear it come from such a strong man.

“It’ll be alright, Jacob? I’ll be on my way in the next hour or so, okay?” Lennie reassured him.

“Okay. I’ll text the address. Thank you, Lennie.”

“Don’t worry about it.” She ended the call with her brother and quickly called Michael to let him know what was going on. He agreed that she should probably go alone, and he assured her that he and Cooper would be just fine, that she should take her time.

Less than 45 minutes later, Lennie was on the road and headed to be with her brothers.

* * *

 Lennie walked through the bedroom door slowly, unsure of what she would find.  Jacob thought it would be better for her to see Helene alone, and Lennie reluctantly agreed. She didn’t know how she was feeling about this whole situation.  A part of her wanted to turn tail and run, but the other part knew she needed answers, however hard they may be.  She was surprised to see Helene sitting upright, legs crossed underneath her.  She looked up from the shoebox in front of her and smiled, and Lennie was instantly transported back to her childhood, and all those times she’d traveled with her father to visit this family.

Helene was still beautiful, though the cancer had clearly taken its’ toll. Where her hair had once been long, blond curls, it was now grey and closely cropped at her scalp. Her brows were thin, her cheeks gaunt, and her skin wan in color.  She hardly resembled the woman from before, but it was her eyes that drew Lennie in.  Helene always had the warmest, kindest, most beautifully inquisitive brown eyes, and there they were again -staring back at her.

“Hello, Lennie.” Helene smiled, and Lennie smiled back hesitantly.

“Come closer, dear. I won’t bite, I promise!” Helene winked at her and Lennie relaxed as she moved closer. She pulled up a chair next to the bed and sat down slowly. 

“So…” Lennie began uncertainly. Helene laughed as she reached over and patted Lennie's thigh affectionately.

“No need to fill the empty spaces, dear. I’ve got cancer, and it’s got me. I know my time is coming, sooner rather than later, but I’m okay with that. I’m ready to go.” She squeezed Lennie’s leg gently, and Lennie felt an overwhelming urge to wrap her arms around this woman. 

It was disconcerting. 

She should hate Helene, but she didn’t.

“I know this is probably not on your list of fun things to do, but I wanted to show you some pictures I had of your father. I also wanted to explain some things that you may or may not be aware of concerning him, and your mother even.”

Lennie’s head jerked up at the mention of her mother, her defenses rising as her eyes narrowed on the older woman. Helene continued smiling as she handed Lennie a letter. Lennie stared at it, and then back up at Helene in confusion.

“It’s from your father.  Just read it, sweetie.  It’ll explain some things I believe.”

Lennie turned her eyes back down to the letter.  It was yellowed with age, and she nearly gasped when she realized it was dated before she was even born.

_My dearest love,_

_I am sorry about the way things have turned out.  I wish I could undo everything, but I can’t.  I only wish I had known the truth then, and maybe you would have forgiven me for my lack of judgement. I hope you can forgive me, but if you can't, I will understand why._

_The baby is due in a few months.  It’s a girl.  I never thought I would have a girl.  How I wish I was having a daughter with you! What a beauty she would be!_

_I have to go now. I’ve only got a few minutes to write and send this off.  My heart is broken, and I don’t know that it will ever heal. I will never stop loving you, Helene. You are my heart, my very reason for living. I hope you can see that I am trying to do the right thing, and in the end it may not be, but I feel in my heart it is.  God knows I want to pack up and leave, but I would never forgive myself for leaving her and the babies. I’ve made a commitment, and I have to see it through._

_I love you, Helene._

_I always will._

_Love you always and forever,_

_LL_

Lennie wiped away the tears that were rolling down her cheeks, and she looked up at Helene in confusion.

“What does this mean?”

“Your daddy was with me first, sweetie.  We were getting married, had our whole lives planned out even. One day, we had an argument. I sent him packing, and he left. He went and met your mother.” Helene looked up at the wall as she took a deep breath. “Chase was not your father’s son, Lennie.”

“What?” Lennie gasped.  She couldn’t breathe.  She couldn’t breathe, and this wasn't happening.  She couldn't take anymore secrets and lies. She leaned over and placed her head in her hands as she tried to steady herself.

“Do you want me to stop, dear?” Helene asked gently.

“No,” Lennie mumbled. “I need to know everything.”

“Your father and I were separated, and he began a….relationship…with your mother.  However, she was already pregnant with Chase at the time.  When your father found out your mother was pregnant, he assumed Chase was his. That’s what your mother told him.” Helene chuckled to herself. “So when I found out that I too was pregnant with Jacob, I didn’t have the heart to tell him.  Or the want. I was furious with him. I felt like I needed to keep Jacob from him, maybe to punish him.”

Lennie stared at the floor, not believing her ears.  Helene continued.

“It was only when he found out your mother was pregnant with you that he realized Chase wasn’t his.  Your mother fessed up.  He had long suspected it – and told me as much - but I didn’t care for his reasons and explanations.  I was still so very angry, Lennie.”

“My mother lied?” Lennie whispered in disbelief. “I don’t understand what’s going on…”

“Yes. Your mother lied. The man that was Chase’s father abandoned her in New Orleans. He brought her down with him, and left her, alone in the city. She never recovered, and I think that is what drove her to drinking and abusing drugs. Your father originally thought Chase was his, and so he stayed with her.  By the time you came along, your mother was well on her way to being addicted, at least to alcohol.  I'm not sure when the drugs came into play, but your father said it was a struggle to get her to not drink during her pregnancy with you.”

Lennie sat numbly, trying to absorb all that was being laid bare before her.

“Sometimes I wonder if I had told him that I was also pregnant, would he have made a different decision?” Helene’s voice had grown wistful, but she quickly composed herself and looked back at Lennie. “Your father was a good man, Lennie.  He never wanted to keep these secrets. When he found out about Jacob,  and after knowing about Chase, he wanted to leave your mother and be with me. I couldn’t do it, couldn’t break up your family.  So we did the best we could with what we had. He tried to make it work with her, I know he did.  It didn’t always pan out that way -  the lines were blurred obviously - as you and Leon were born subsequently."

“So my father stayed with my mother…..why?” Lennie was still trying to piece it all together. “She was carrying another man’s child, but my dad thought it was his, but it wasn't. Then you were also pregnant, but didn’t tell my dad. Then I was born, and Leon after me.  Did my mother know?”

Helene nodded. “She did know later on.  Your father admitted it all, but she was so far gone into her addictions that he couldn't leave her.  He was worried she would overdose, or hurt you and Chase, and he wouldn't risk that.  Your father was trying to do the best for everyone, Lennie.  Your mother was still very upset at Chase’s dad for many years, and her addictions got the best of her. Your father would never leave her and risk losing you.  It simply wasn’t in his nature.”

“But it was in his nature to lie my whole life?” Lennie spat out bitterly.

“He loved you, sweetheart.  More than he loved himself.  He couldn’t risk losing you.  You have to see that,” Helene coaxed gently.

“So what do I do now?” Lennie whispered brokenly. “Everything is a lie, and now it’s even worse. Chase is not my brother, my mother was the problem, and I have been hating my dad for so long once I found out about you.”

“I know, sweetheart, but Chase _was_ your brother, Lennie. Regardless if he was blood born or not, he was your brother. Just the same as Jacob and Leon. And your mother?  She was sick, Lennie.  She was so very sick."  Helene shook her head sadly.

“I don’t know what to do,” Lennie whispered again. She tried to choke back the sob that was escaping, but it was no use. She leaned over and buried her head in her arms as she cried, and she vaguely felt Helene move closer and wrap her arms around her.

“Come here, sweet girl.” Helene whispered against her hair. "It's okay to cry, sweetie." 

Lennie allowed herself to be held by Helene, and she cried for a long time as the older woman gently rubbed her back and shoulders.  She was grieving for her mother, and for her father, and for her brothers, and now for Helene. It was such a horrible situation, and no one deserved this.

When she was no longer sobbing, she sat back up and took a few deep breaths to calm herself as Helene moved back onto the bed and settled against the pillows.

“How are you feeling now, sweetheart?” Helene asked gently, and Lennie chuckled sarcastically as she wiped at her face.

“You’re asking me how I’m feeling?” Her voice was heavy with disbelief.  The woman was dying of cancer and she was worried about her!!

“Lennie, I’ve accepted my fate, sweetheart.” Helene shrugged. “I’ve lived a good life. I had love, and I’ve been blessed with the boys. They are fine men, and I couldn’t ask for more.”

“You were forced to raise them alone because of decisions made by my parents, Helene. How are you okay with all of this? I'm furious!” Lennie shook her head angrily and looked away.

Her eyes landed on a framed photo on the dresser of her father with Helene. Lennie stood up and walked towards the photo and picked it up. They were standing in the rain, and both were laughing at something that only they found funny.  Helene’s arms were looped around her father's neck, and he was laughing down at her, his hands resting at her waist. It was such an intimate moment, caught at just the right time, and Lennie teared up at how beautiful it was.

“That’s why I am the way I am, sweetie.” Helene’s voice was gentle as she called to her from the bed. “That man, laughing with me in the rain, is what gave me hope, and love, and life. I loved him and he loved me.  It's that simple.” 

Lennie continued staring at the photo.  In all her years with her family, she’d never seen that look on her dad’s face with her mother. They had provided their children with a good home, and love for sure, but Lennie had never seen that side of her father with her mother. They had seemed to exist together in the house, but not much more. She carried the photo back to Helene, and sat down in the chair again.

“My dad really loved you, Helene,” Lennie whispered as she stared at the photo. She swiped at more tears as they rolled down her cheeks.

“And I loved him, Lennie. More than I love myself.”

Lennie’s head popped up at those words, and she stared in disbelief at Helene for a moment.  She had said those _same words_ to Michael not long ago. She knew she meant it when she said it, but it had not yet hit home til just now how very true those words were.  She had been so blind to the things right in front of her face, and it was so apparent yet again. She smiled a wobbly smile at Helene, and the older woman smiled back.

“Forgive your father, Lennie. Forgive your mother.” Helene reached out and grasped Lennie’s hand and held it tightly in her frail one. “And if you can find it in your heart, forgive me. I know I took your father away from your family far too much, and for that I am truly sorry.”

Lennie shook her head in disagreement, and squeezed Helene’s hand. “No. I understand now.  I didn’t before, and I was angry, but I understand now, Helene, and there’s nothing to forgive.”

Helene’s face softened in relief, and she pulled Lennie in for another hug.  Both women were crying when they separated, and both giggled as they wiped tears off their face. Helene pulled more photos out of the box in front of her, and handed a few to Lennie.

“I’d like to give some of these to you, Lennie.  Some I want to save for the boys, but I am sure your father would have wanted you to have some of these,” Helene explained as she handed her more.

They were a mixture of photos of Helene and her father,  photos of her father with the boys, and some were actually photos of Lennie and the boys during their visits together. Precious moments, captured long ago, that had very nearly slipped through Lennie’s fingers. For the next few hours, Lennie and Helene would go through the photos. Sometimes they would laugh, and quite a few times they would cry, but in the end, Lennie felt closer to her father than she ever had.  She realized just how much of a sacrifice he had truly made. She knew she would have to work through the issues surrounding her mother and her sickness, but she now knew what kind of man her father really was. He was a man that loved his family deeply.  He was also human, and he had made some mistakes, but he was human, and she couldn't fault him. She had made similar mistakes, hadn't she?

She couldn’t be prouder of him. She was the lucky one for having been blessed with him for as long as she did.

* * *

 

“Hello?” Michael’s voice came over the line, and Lennie leaned back against her seat.

“Hi.”

“Hey, babe. Are you on your way back?”

“Yeah,” Lennie whispered.

“You alright, Lennie?” Michael asked, and she could hear the concern in his voice.

“I just….Michael…I,” Lennie whispered again.  She was choking on her tears, and she took a few deep breaths to calm herself.

“Baby, what’s wrong? Did something happen? Do I need to come down there and get you?” Michael’s voice was rising, and Lennie was touched at his concern.

“No, Michael. I’m fine. Stuff happened, but it’s all good,” Lennie assured him. “I just wanted to call and tell you how much I love you.”

“Well, I love you too, sweetheart, but if you need me to come, I will.” Michael continued. “I’m worried about you, luv.”

“Please don’t worry.  I’ll be home in the next few hours, okay?”

“Are you sure?  We can come right now, Cooper and I.  I’m really fucking worried now.” Michael’s voice was hard now, and Lennie tried to calm herself so he wouldn’t get further worked up.

“How’s my baby?”

Michael snorted.

“Okay, I’ll let you divert the conversation for now, but I’m still worried.” Michael stated calmly, but Lennie could hear the annoyance underlying his words.

“I know you are, but I’m fine. I promise,” Lennie spoke a little more confidently in a continued effort to ease his mind. “How’s Cooper? Did you guys have a good day?”

“It was great, babe. We did lots of manly things. You’d be proud,” Michael chuckled, and Lennie giggled despite herself. Michael took notice, and his voice was softer when he spoke again. “There’s my girl. I hate when you’re sad, sweetheart. I feel helpless, and I don’t know what to do.”

Lennie’s heart swelled with love for him yet again.  How was that possible? 

“You’ve done more than you’ll ever know, Michael. I love you. I don’t think I realized how much until today, and I never want to go a day without you knowing just how much I adore you.”

“And I adore you, sweetheart. I spend my days and nights dreaming about you, and counting down the minutes until I can hold you again.”

“You’re gonna make me cry, jerk,” Lennie sniffled out with a smile.

“And then I’ll do my best to make you smile after,” Michael vowed softly. “Come home, Lennie. I miss you, and Cooper is going insane without you.”

“Okay. Let me get on the road, then.” Lennie buckled her seat belt. “I love you.”

“Love you too, sweetie. See you in a bit.”

Lennie hung up the phone and started her truck. She pulled out of Helene’s driveway, and while she was saddened at leaving her brothers – and now even Helene – there was nothing that made her happier than knowing what she was going home to.


	36. Chapter 36

Lennie opened the door to her house, and stepped inside wearily. In a flash, Cooper was wrapped around her legs, and she smiled down at him.  She was tired – both emotionally and physically drained – but seeing her son at her feet brought a smile to her face.

“Mama!” He hugged her legs tightly.

“Let me get in the house, baby,” she laughed as she dropped her purse on the foyer table. Michael walked up and stood back a bit, watching as she hugged Cooper. Lennie’s eyes met his, and he smiled at her gently. Without her saying a word, he could tell she was still upset.  He ruffled his son’s hair playfully.

“Cooper? Let’s go get your stuff ready for bed, okay? Mum’s tired.” Michael jerked his head in the direction of the hall.  "If you go get ready for bed, I'll come read you a book."

"The Hobbit?" Cooper asked hopefully as he released his mother.  With a grin, Michael nodded down at his tiny doppelganger.

"The Hobbit it is.  Of you go, son."  He ruffled Cooper's hair again before his son took off down the hall. "I'll be there shortly."

 Lennie did her best to give Michael a grateful look, but her chin was trembling and tears were rapidly filling her eyes.  He walked over to her and opened his arms, and she slumped against him.

“What’s the matter, luv?” Michael murmured against her hair.

“Everything’s so messed up.” She clutched at his waist, her fingers balling up the fabric of his shirt as she cried softly into his chest. Michael continued rubbing her back as he held her to him.

“Why don’t you go take a shower, or a bath, and relax, babe?” He kissed her on her forehead and leaned back to look down at her. Her face was red and blotchy, the tears left black streaks down her cheeks as they mixed with her mascara. “I’ll get Cooper to bed, and then you can tell me all about it.”

Lennie nodded numbly, and Michael kissed her forehead again before letting her go.

“Go on, babe,” he urged her gently. “I’ll be there shortly, but take your time.”

Lennie nodded again and walked to the bedroom, closed the door behind her, and headed into the bathroom. She was so tired. She sat down on the edge of the tub, turned the water on, and began stripping her clothes off. She was bone-tired, and not just physically. She was tired in her spirit, and her heart was aching from all that she’d heard today. A part of her wanted to cling to Helene, to capture every bit of life that woman had left and store it up in her heart. The other part of her wanted to not think about, to not dwell on what she’d been told today. She hated and loved her mother – all at the same time.  Memories were flooding back of times that her mother was locked up in her bedroom, crying uncontrollably. Her dad would gently lead Lennie and Chase away from the door and outside to play, and Lennie never gave it much thought. “She’s having a bad day,” her dad would offer in explanation. 

Her mom had lots of bad days.

Lennie sank into the water slowly, the heat stinging her skin as she sat down.  After a few moments, her body adjusted to the hot water and she lay back against the tub and rested her head on the edge as she closed her eyes. 

She was around 9 years old when she first realized her mother had a problem.  She had just gotten off the school bus and was walking up the driveway with Chase when she realized the front door was wide open.  She walked inside cautiously, keeping close to Chase’s back as she followed him through the house.  Her father was gone, but her mother’s car was parked out front, so she had to be home.  They found her in the kitchen, passed out on the floor, a bottle of pills strewn across the tile.  Lennie had started crying hysterically, and Chase had quickly called the neighbors for help.  When the neighbor got there, she immediately called 911, and Lennie’s mother was rushed to the hospital.  She’d overdosed on a mixture of sleeping pills and vodka, and spent a good week at the hospital.

“She’s sick,” her dad explained gently. “She’s sick, but she’s better now, so nothing for you kids to worry with.”

Her mother had seemed to get better for a while,  but then she would spiral back down into her addictions.  Lennie could vividly remember having fights with her mother, and being told many times to leave.  She could remember her father and mother having arguments upstairs, although her father always did his best to keep it quiet.  Over the years, her mother would drink too much, or abuse some her medications, and she would occasionally end up back in the hospital, but for the most part, she was functional. 

The next really bad time happened right as Lennie was getting ready to graduate high school, and go off to college. Her father was away on one of his “business trips,” and Lennie was just returning from her senior trip.  Chase had already moved out long ago, and was working off-shore on a rig, so it was soon going to be just her mother and father at home. She found her mother this time on the back porch.  She was sitting at the patio table out back, a half-empty bottle of vodka on the table next to her.  Lennie watched through the glass patio door in horror as her mother tied off the rubber band above her elbow, and fumbled with the needle as she tried to get it in her vein.  Lennie rushed outside and jerked the needle out of her mother’s hand and tossed it in the grass. 

That was the day her mother slapped her across the face, and Lennie would never forget the look in her mother’s eyes.

Her mother’s hair was wild and frizzy and her chest heaved as she glared back at Lennie. She had a wild, almost animalistic look in her eyes that Lennie would never, ever forget.  It still haunted her to this day.  Without a word, Lennie walked upstairs to her room and locked herself in her bathroom and cried.  She had no idea what her mother did, nor did she go back down to look for her.  The next morning, Lennie moved out and stayed with Ellie until she headed off to LSU.  Her father tried to apologize, tried to explain, but Lennie was through. Chase even more so. 

There wasn’t much interaction from that point on between Lennie and her mother. She would come for Christmas, and other holidays, but it was always strained, and Lennie could never leave fast enough. Lennie plugged away at her education, accomplishing one degree after the next in an effort to escape her past and make a new life.  It was no surprise that she went into her field; fixing other people’s problems allows you to be distracted from your own.  It was common, and Lennie was acutely aware of this fact.  When she got pregnant with Cooper, she had tried to mend the relationship with her mother, as she needed her more than ever, but it was useless.  She was too far gone, the alcohol and drugs too tightly embedded in her. 

Lennie wiped at her eyes as she remembered the last time she talked to her father before the accident.

He had asked about Cooper as always, and wanted to know when Lennie would bring him down to visit.  Cooper was his joy, he said, his reason for living.  She’d not seen her father that happy in such a long time, and it choked her up now to think that Cooper would never know how wonderful that man was.

“Babe?” Michael knocked softly at the door, and Lennie sat up and drew her knees to her chest.

“It’s open,” she called weakly.  Michael opened the door and stepped inside, shutting it behind him softly.

“Are you alright?” He asked as he walked towards her. He knelt down next to the tub and gently pushed her hair off her forehead. Lennie shook her head as her chin trembled.

“No,” she whispered. Michael leaned over and kissed her on her forehead.

“You wanna get out and come lay with me, then?  We can talk if you’d like.”

Lennie nodded up at him, and Michael handed her a towel from beside the tub.  She stood up and he tightly wrapped her in the towel. She was shivering, her teeth chattering as Michael helped her out of the tub and led her to the bedroom. She sat as Michael helped her get dressed, and when he was finished, she crawled up in the bed and burrowed under the covers. Michael pulled off his shirt and stripped down to his boxers and crawled in beside her. He pulled her onto his chest and wrapped his arms around her. It was a few moments before he spoke.

“I’m worried about you, luv,” he murmured against the top of her head. He ran his hands up and down her arms as he tried to soothe her. She was still shivering against him, but he could feel that she was warming up, and he began to breathe a little easier.

“Can we talk later? I’m so tired, Michael.” Her voice was a soft whisper against his chest, and he hugged her tighter to him.

“Of course, babe.  Get some rest.” He kissed her on top of her head again. “I’ll be here when you wake up.”

“I love you, Michael.” Lennie snuggled in tighter, and tucked her hands under his back as she clung to him.

“And I love you, sweetheart.” He pulled her in tighter as he scooted down in the bed. 

He waited for her to fall asleep before he untangled himself from her.  He lay there, waiting until her breathing evened out and she relaxed against him.  Only when he was confident she wouldn’t wake up, did he slide out of the bed.  He walked to the kitchen and grabbed her cell phone, and scrolled through til he found what he was looking for.  He pressed the button, and waited as the phone rang.

“Lennie?” Jacob’s voice came over the line. 

“No. It’s Michael. What the fuck happened to her?” Michael gritted out angrily. 

“What do you mean?” Jacob asked uneasily.

“I believe I was clear a moment ago, and you seem to have some intelligence about you.  What the fuck did you and your family do to her?” Michael’s voice was deadly calm as he slowly repeated the question.

“Is she alright?” Jacob ignored Michael’s question altogether.

“No. She isn’t,” Michael retorted hotly. “What the fuck happened down there?”

“I think I need to come up,” Jacob surmised.  Michael could hear the other man moving about, and he could feel his anger growing at her brother’s refusal to answer him.

“No. I don’t believe you do.”

“She’s my sister,” Jacob shot back, his voice rising to match Michael’s as he dared the other man to argue with him.  Michael sat quietly, not trusting himself to speak. He knew he was going to make things worse if he continued in this vein. Getting in some pissing contest with her brother was not going to make Lennie any happier with him.  That was for sure.

“Look, Michael, I understand your concern for Lennie, and I’m thankful she has you. Let me come up there.  We can talk, man to man. Get this mess cleared up,” Jacob reasoned with him. “I need to know my sister’s okay.”

“Fine,” Michael reluctantly agreed through clenched teeth. “But if you come, and you make it worse, you’ll leave.  Is that in any way unclear?”

“Fine,” the other man answered calmly, and Michael was more than a little pissed when he realized he’d been hung up on before he could reply.  He set the phone down on the table and sat himself down in a chair. 

He was pissed.

He could feel his blood boiling, and he wasn’t sure he was ready to face Jacob – not after seeing Lennie the way he did. He got up and walked down the hall to check on both Cooper and Lennie, ensuring they were both safe, and then headed back out to the kitchen to find something to drink.  He hoped Lennie had something in her cupboards that would settle his nerves - and prevent him from beating the shit out of her brother. 

* * *

 

Michael watched from the porch as Lennie’s brother pulled in the driveway in his big-ass truck. 

He snorted to himself.

Was it really necessary to have such a big-ass vehicle? He shook his head, and waited as the other man got out of the truck and walked up to the porch.

“Hello,” Jacob began calmly.  He held his hand out, but dropped it after a few moments when Michael didn’t take it. “Where’s my sis?”

“She’s asleep. My son as well.” Michael’s voice was calm, his anger hidden just barely.  He took another sip of the whiskey he’d found in Lennie’s cupboard.  What she was doing with a perfectly good, unopened bottle of Jameson was beyond him, and he couldn’t pass up the opportunity.

“What you drinkin’ there?” Jacob nodded towards the glass in Michael’s hand.  Michael narrowed his eyes – the man’s Cajun accent was grating on his nerves.

“Whiskey.”

“You got more?” Jacob asked hopefully. “I could use a good drink.”

“It’s Irish whiskey.” Michael’s tone was arrogant as he drained the last of the liquid in his glass. “Probably not to your….liking…if you will.”

Jacob stared up at him from the bottom of the steps for a few tense moments, but then walked up and halted a few feet from Michael.  The two men glared at each other in the dim light of the porch. Finally Jacob spoke.

“Look, Michael, I don’t know what you think you know about me, but you’re wrong.  Yes, Lennie got some bad news today, and I don’t know what she told you, but it wasn’t of my doing.”

“She didn’t tell me anything,” Michael muttered angrily.  He stared out at the darkness past the reach of the porch light, his jaw tensed in frustration.  He knew next to nothing about what was going on with the woman he loved, and it was pissing him off beyond belief. 

“Well I can fill you in, then. She’s hurtin’, Michael.  We all are.” Jacob turned to stare out at the darkness as well.   Michael cut his eyes towards Jacob; something in the other man’s voice spoke to him, and he realized that he needed to at least hear the other man out.  Maybe it would help, maybe it wouldn’t.

“I’ve got more whiskey if you’d like a drink,” Michael begrudgingly offered.

“I’d appreciate it,” Jacob replied, and he followed Michael into the house.  They quickly made drinks, and headed back out to the porch so as not to disturb Lennie or Cooper.  Each man took a seat and sipped on their drinks as they debated where to start.  Finally Jacob spoke up.

“How much do you know?” he asked Michael without looking at him.

“Not enough. Start from the beginning.”

Both Michael and Jacob took good, long drinks, knowing they were going to be here a while.


	37. Chapter 37

Lennie woke up early the next morning.  She frowned when she realized Michael wasn’t in bed with her, and she crawled out from under the covers to go find him and check on Cooper. It was barely after 6am, and when she opened his door, she saw that Cooper was still asleep.  Still not having found Michael, she walked into the kitchen and was immediately halted in her tracks by what lay before her.

On the island, she saw a loaf of bread – half of it missing – with open jars of peanut butter and jelly sitting close by. There were smears of peanut butter on the counter top, along with dirty, wadded up paper towels.  They, too, had smears of peanut butter and jelly on them.  As she walked around the kitchen and over to the sink, she noticed the cupboard was open. It was the one where she kept the alcohol, and she grew increasingly annoyed when she realized that every single last bottle had been taken out.   A few empty containers of beer and a nearly-empty bottle of Jose Cuervo were all that remained of her former liquor stash.

“Michael, what have you done?” she whispered to herself as she collected up the beer and tequila bottles and tossed them in the trash.  He could clean up the rest of the kitchen himself!  She walked back out into the hallway and across to the living room to see where he was. 

The shock she felt before paled in comparison to the scene in front of her.

She could hear the loud rumbling of men snoring long before she walked in the room.  Michael was sprawled out on the couch, his shoes still on his feet. He had mud caked on them, and she could see that some of that mud had gotten on the fabric of her couch. He was completely dressed, and had his arms crossed over his chest as he snored away peacefully. She barely had time to be aggravated at him when she noticed her brother – _HER BROTHER_ – sleeping in the recliner near the couch.  He, too, had on all his clothes, and his muddy boots had also gotten her recliner dirty.  The kicker was the empty bottle of Jameson held firmly in her brothers’ arms.

That asshole had drunk her whiskey! Son of a bitch!!

She looked over at Michael and glared at him as well , knowing that bastard had probably helped her brother drink all her whiskey!  She wondered what he would say when he realized what that unopened bottle of whiskey meant to her.  She doubted he would be able to connect those dots...

“Are you fucking kidding me?” she muttered to herself as she walked over to Michael and shoved his arm none-too-gently.  He didn’t move, so she shoved a little harder. He swatted at her, and tried to roll over, but Lennie pulled him back to facing her.

“Michael!” Lennie spoke loudly as she leaned over him. “Michael! Wake up!”

Michael cracked an eye open and looked up at her. Lennie could see his eyes were bloodshot, and they were not yet focused on her.

“Len-nie?” Michael drawled out slowly. He held up a hand to her and motioned for her to come closer. “Come ‘ere, babe.”

He had a lop-sided smile on his face, but right now it was pissing her off beyond belief. What part of her mother being an alcoholic did he not understand??  And Jacob!  He definitely knew better! All the problems alcohol had caused their families, and he was passed out on her couch!

“What the hell happened here?” Lennie demanded as pushed his hand away.  She walked over and kicked Jacob’s foot as it dangled off the footrest on the recliner. “Jacob!” Jacob opened his eyes and stared up at her in confusion.

“Lennie?”

“Yes! You need to get up, Jacob!” She turned her ire back to Michael. “You, too! Get up!”

“Calm down, Lennie,” Michael mumbled as he sat up slowly. He held his head in his hands as he tried to steady himself, but it was useless.  He fell back over on the couch and flung his arm over his eyes.

“No! I won’t calm down!  You two need to get your drunk asses out of my living room! Cooper will be up any minute, and he’s not coming in here to find his uncle and father drunk and passed out.”  She glared at Michael and then at Jacob, but neither man made a move to get up. 

Even worse, she heard one of them start snoring again.  Bastards!

She was beyond pissed, and right now all she wanted to do was force these two idiots out of her house, but she knew she couldn’t physically do that.  She turned on her heel and marched back to her bedroom and quickly got dressed.  She then got a still sleeping Cooper up and dressed, and grabbed her keys and cell, and headed out.  Cooper didn't stir much as she carried him to the truck, and thankfully went right back to sleep once she had him buckled. 

If those two drunk asses wouldn’t leave, then she would.  She would be damned if her son was going to experience what she had with her mother growing up.  Not on her watch.

* * *

 

“She’s not in here either,” Michael grumbled as he walked back into the living room. “Cooper’s gone as well.”  It was after noon, and that had not seen nor heard from Lennie since they'd woken up a short time ago.

“Well, where could she be?” Jacob looked around the house again as if his sister and nephew would magically appear.

“Let me call her again.” Michael dialed Lennie again, and again it went to voice mail. “Fuck!”

“Let me try,” Jacob offered. He pulled out his cell and called, and got the same. “Straight to voicemail.”

Michael was pacing back and forth near the window overlooking the front yard.  She’d gone and taken their son, and now she wasn’t answering the phone.  He was worried, and he was pissed, and he was furious.

“Let me call Leon and see if he knows anything.” Jacob sat down on the couch as he dialed his younger brother.  He spoke with Leon for just a minute, and then Helene came on the line, and Jacob could tell his mother was upset about something.

“Jacob?” Her tone was short, and Jacob knew she was angry.

“Yeah, mama, it’s me.”

“Leon tells me you’re looking for Lennie?” His mother got straight to the point, and Jacob sighed.

“Yeah. Woke up this morning and she’s gone,” Jacob answered wearily.

“You got drunk last night with her boyfriend, didn’t you? Her mother was an alcoholic for god’s sake!” That tone could reduce even the biggest, strongest of men into small boys again, and Jacob felt himself shrinking in the chair. He hated when his mama was mad.

“Oh, shit.” Jacob looked up to Michael who was now standing next to him.  Michael’s brows drew together as he stared down at Lennie’s brother.

“What?” Michael growled angrily. “Do they know where she is?”

“Do you know where she is, mama?” Jacob asked his mother.

“She was here. Not sure where she is now,” his mother huffed out angrily. “Really, Jacob Andrew? Did you not think what a bad idea that was, especially yesterday?   You need to act like you got the sense God gave you!”

“I know, mama. I’m sorry,” Jacob apologized.

“I’m not the one to apologize to, Jacob.” Helene snorted.

“What is going on?” Michael asked angrily. “Where is she? Is she coming home?”

Jacob held up a finger to shush Michael, and continued talking with his mother for a few more moments. When he was done, he hung up the phone and walked over to where Michael had stalked off to by the windows.

“She was at my mama’s house, but she’s left since then.  Mama said they were fine, but Lennie was very upset.” Jacob looked around the house sheepishly. “Drinkin’ and passin’ out weren’t good ideas.”

“Taking my son like that wasn’t a good idea, either,” Michael muttered angrily, and Jacob turned to look at the man with wide eyes.

“You’re not serious?” Jacob asked in disbelief. “She’s not stealing Cooper.  She’s pissed about us drinking, but that’s all. She’ll be back.”

“Until the next time something bothers her?” Michael snorted derisively.  He stood, arms crossed over his chest, and angrily stared out at the front yard to the spot where Lennie’s truck usually sat.

“Look, Michael, I don’t want to overstep-”

“Then don’t.”

“But I am gonna say what I need to say.” Jacob interjected calmly. “You love my sister, yeah?”

"Of course I do,” Michael answered in a clipped tone.

“And she loves you.”

“Your point, being?” Michael asked sarcastically.

“You got a baby together. You love each other.” Jacob answered in that infuriatingly calm voice that Michael was beginning to loathe. “You know she had the bottom drop out yesterday, and she’s upset. Don’t make it worse.”

“What does that mean?” Michael cut his eyes in a sideways glare at the other man.

“It means what it means – don’t make it worse.” Jacob advised him. He turned and looked around the house, and then back at Michael. “I’ll help you clean up, and then I’ll get out of here.  She'll probably be back soon, and I don't wanna catch hell from her.”

“Scared of your sister, then?” Michael snickered, but Jacob only shrugged.

“She’s a Cajun, and she’s her father’s daughter. You better watch your ass, man.” With that, Jacob turned and walked back over and began picking up trash as he straightened up the living room.  Michael’s eyes narrowed as he watched the other man curiously.

Lennie was barely over 5 feet tall, and tiny. What did he have to be afraid of?


	38. Chapter 38

It was after 9pm when Lennie finally arrived back home.  Michael did his best to not run to the door when he heard it open.  One part of him wanted to wrap his arms around her and beg for forgiveness, while the other part wanted to unleash his anger on her for leaving and taking Cooper.  He sat at the couch and warily watched as she carried Cooper in through the door and took him down the hall to his room.  A few minutes later, she walked back through the living room and into the kitchen.  Michael followed behind her like a skittish puppy dog.  She was standing at the sink, drinking a glass of water.

“Glad to see you’ve come home,” Michael remarked carefully. The tension was palpable, and now he knew what Jacob had meant about being afraid; he felt like he was walking on egg-shells. He sat down at the island and waited. 

Lennie said nothing. 

She took another sip of water and set her glass on the counter and walked out of the kitchen, leaving Michael staring after her, dumbfounded. He got up and quickly followed her down the hall and into their bedroom, and just narrowly avoided having the door slammed in his face. Lennie turned to glare at him when he came in the room,  but still she said nothing.  She grabbed some clothes and headed into the bathroom, but this time she was able to lock the door.

Michael sat stubbornly on the bed; she couldn’t stay in there forever.  When she finally came out, she still didn’t speak, and Michael couldn’t take it any longer.

“How long will this go on?” he asked in exasperation. Lennie said nothing as she turned down her side of the bed, crawled in, and turned away from him.

“Lennie? Babe? Please say something to me,” Michael pleaded.  He was no longer pissed; he was most definitely scared. He’d never had anyone give him the silent treatment like this, and especially not from someone he loved.  He had no idea what to do.  He stood up and walked around to the side of her bed and knelt down beside her.

Goddamnit, but she was crying, silent tears that were rolling down her cheeks and ripping his heart out with every drop.

“Lennie? Please say something to me. Tell me how to fix this.” He reached to tuck her hair behind her ear, but she flinched away from him.

“Please leave me alone,” she whispered.

“But why?” Michael searched her face, and again he felt utterly helpless.

“I just want to sleep. Please let me be. Just go.”

“And if I don’t want to?” Michael's chin lifted stubbornly.

“Then I’ll leave,” Lennie whispered again, and she moved to get up. Michael halted her with a hand on her shoulder, and she looked up at him with teary eyes and a trembling chin.

“I’ll go. If that’s what you want, I’ll go sleep in the guest room,” Michael conceded softly.  He gently pushed Lennie back down on the bed and leaned over her and planted a kiss on her forehead. “I love you, sweetheart. I made a stupid fucking mistake, but I love you, and I am sorry.  I’ll be down the hall if you need me.” Michael stood up and walked out of the bedroom, closing the door behind him.

Everything inside him was screaming to go back in that room, to crawl in that bed the woman he loved, and wrap his arms around her and hold her tight – regardless if she wanted him or not. Instead, he walked down the hall and grabbed his mobile on the way to the guest bedroom. He stopped in to check on Cooper momentarily, and after tucking him in and kissing his son on top of his head, he headed to the guest bedroom. He stripped off his tee-shirt and jeans and crawled into his cold and lonely bed. He lay there, staring up at the ceiling for the longest, wondering what he needed to do to fix this mess. It would be a long time before he finally fell asleep.

* * *

 

Lennie lay awake in her bed down the hall.  She had finally stopped crying, but her heart was heavy. She knew she overreacted.  She should have never left like that, and especially should have never taken Cooper like that.  She knew this. Helene told her, Ellie told her - hell, _even Leon told her_ , and Leon never told anyone anything!  Even knowing that she had blown this out of proportion, she still couldn’t shake that sick feeling in her stomach; Michael drinking to the point of passing out brought back too many memories of her mother. Too many memories of all that she’d lost. She simply couldn’t go through that again, and she certainly couldn’t put Cooper through that. She couldn’t lose the ones she loved to alcohol. She sat up, drawing her knees up to her chest as she contemplated what to do. She glanced over at the clock and saw that it was barely after midnight. She knew she would not be able to sleep in this bed alone, not with Michael mere feet down the hall.  She loved him too much.   Regardless of what had happened, she loved him too much to stay away from him. 

She crawled out of bed and padded down the hallway quietly. The guest bedroom door was open, but she hesitated for just a moment before going in. He might still be mad at her for leaving, or maybe he was mad at her for kicking him out of their room? She stood nervously at the door way as she weighed out in her mind what to do.

“Come ‘ere, sweetheart,” Michael called to her from the dark of the room, startling her with his deep voice.  Embarrassed at having been caught, she hung her head down low and walked over to the bed and crawled in under the covers he had raised for her.  Michael pulled her down on his warm chest and wrapped his arms around her, and both seemed to sigh in relief at the same time.

“I’m sorry, Lennie. Truly.” Lennie whimpered as she tried to hold back her tears, and Michael pulled her tighter, lifting her so that she was laying on his chest. “I won’t do that shit again. I swear,” he promised as he kissed her head.

“I can’t lose you,” she choked out through her tears.

“Shhhh…” Michael murmured as he stroked her back. “I’m not going anywhere, luv.”

"I'm sorry...I left...sorry I took Cooper like that,"  Lennie stammered through her tears. 

"It's okay, sweetheart.  I understand why you felt the need to do what you did."  Michael rubbed his lips against her hair and kissed her forehead again.

"I won't do that again,"  Lennie vowed against his neck.  "I just can't, Michael.  I can't go through that again, and not with Cooper. I've lost too much to alcohol."

"It's forgiven, sweetheart.  We'll figure out something so we don't ever get in that situation again, okay?"  Michael ran his hands up and down her back slowly, loving the feel of her pressed against him.  He would never tire of holding her like this.  He could feel Lennie calming down, her breathing no longer hitching with tears, and he felt the weight on his heart start to lessen. 

"I can't believe you drank the Jameson."

"You know it's my favorite," Michael chuckled against her. 

"I was bringing that to you the night we...uh...broke up," Lennie's lips turned down in distaste and she did her best to keep those images from her mind.

"The night we broke up?" Michael asked, not understanding.  

"When we were first together on set.  That night that everything happened, I was bringing you that whiskey as a gift."

"Oh, fuck."  Now he realized what she meant.  Fuck.  "You've had that the whole time?"

"Yes."

"But why?"

"I don't know.  A reminder.  We were drinking a lot when we were together, and we were drinking when we broke up.  It was a reminder to me that alcohol causes nothing but problems," she finished bitterly. 

"And then I went and fucked it up last night and drank that damn whiskey."

"You sure did."

"Well, your brother helped, just so you know," Michael hedged uneasily. 

"So it's his fault?"

"No. It's most certainly my fault,"  Michael admitted.  "I was worried when you came home last night so upset, and I wanted something to calm my nerves."

"How did Jacob end up here anyway?"  Lennie asked curiously.  She didn't understand that part of the story.

"I called him,"  Michael answered easily.

"You called him?"

"Yes.  I was pissed and wanted answers."

Lennie leaned up and stared down at Michael with wide eyes that quickly narrowed with suspicion. "What happened?  Did you two fight or something?" 

Michael grinned and pulled her back down on top of him and wrapped his arms around her again.

"We actually got on quite well, babe."  Michael chuckled.  "He's alright, your brother."

Lennie tried to get up to stare down at him again, but Michael held her tight.

"Don't push it, luv.  He's still not my favorite person, but he's....tolerable...to a point,"  Michael conceded grudgingly.  Lennie relaxed against him and wrapped her arms around him tightly.

"I love you, Michael.  Thank you for being nice to my brother."  She kissed his chest right above his heart and lay her head down again.

"The things I do for you, woman,"  Michael whined dramatically, and Lennie giggled against him.  He smiled above her, thankful that he could still make her laugh after all this shit.  Her laughter - her happiness - were the things he wanted more than anything in this world.  

Lennie crawled up and planted her palms against his chest as she stared down at him.  She leaned down and kissed him softly, and Michael cupped her cheeks with his hands as she pulled back to stare at him again.

"I love you so much, Michael.  I don't want to fight, and I don't want you to change everything for me.  I want to work this out so we can both be happy, okay?" 

Michael nodded and pulled her down for another sweet kiss. 

"I'd give up everything for you, sweetheart.  Nothing in this world is more important than you and Cooper."  He softly rubbed his thumb against her lower lip.  "Whatever I have to do to keep you at my side is what I'll do."

Lennie smiled, and turned her head and bit at his thumb gently, her eyes still locked with his. Inwardly she delighted when she heard his sharp intake of breath at her action.  Her tongue darted out to soothe his finger where she'd bitten, and Michael arched an eyebrow at her.

"Remember what happened the last time you bit my finger like that?" he warned her, his voice deep and husky. 

"Not really..." Lennie teased as she nipped his finger again.  "Maybe you should remind me?" 

In an instant, Michael flipped them over, and Lennie's breath caught as he pushed her legs apart and settled between them.

"Ringing a bell, yet?" he murmured as he nipped along her collar bone.  Lennie squirmed against him as she ran her hands up and down his strong back.

"Still...not....clear," she panted as he cupped her breast through her tee-shirt, and Michael grinned against her neck.  He slid his hand down and pushed past the waistband of her panties, and slid his fingers down til he found what he was looking for.  Lennie began panting as he parted her, and when he slid one long finger in, she gasped and arched up against him.

"Oh god!" she whined, and her soft pants and moans filled the room. 

"Seems that got your attention, luv."  He nipped at her throat as his finger thrummed against that spot that he knew would eventually shatter her.  "Memory getting clearer?" 

Lennie pulled at his head, forcing his mouth back up to hers.  "Stop talking, and - Oh god!" she croaked out again as Michael slid another long finger in and scissored them inside her, stretching her as his thumb played at her clit.  He could feel her legs trembling at his sides, and he smirked as he looked down at her.

"You were saying?' he murmured against her lips.  She had her eyes closed,  and he could tell she was concentrating all her efforts on that spot between her legs that he was so eagerly attending to.   He kissed her and pulled his fingers out, chuckling as she opened her eyes and glared up at him.  He gave her a wolfish grin, and Lennie watched with wide eyes as he popped his fingers in his mouth and sucked them clean. 

"Have you any idea how delicious you taste, sweetheart?" 

Lennie shook her head, and Michael leaned down and kissed her, and she could taste herself on his lips.  It was shocking, and felt forbidden, and fuck if it didn't drive her insane! She reached down, grabbed for his hand, and brought it to her mouth, and sucked on the two fingers he had used on her.  Michael's eyes grew darker, heavy with lust as he watched her sucking on his fingers. He pulled his hand back, brought it back down to her core, and shoved the same fingers in again, and again Lennie moaned as she arched up off the bed at his invasion of her.  Just as quickly, Michael pulled his fingers out and brought them back up to her mouth.

"Suck," he ordered her in a deep growl. 

Lennie opened her mouth, and Michael pushed his fingers in.  He watched as she closed her eyes, and swirled her tongue around his fingers as she sucked on them.  His breathing was shallow, his heart pounding, and he was achingly hard against her.  If she wiggled against him even the tiniest bit more, he believed he would come in his shorts. Fuck! He pulled his hand away from her and reached down and rid her of her shorts and panties. Lennie helped him push his boxers down, and they were still around his ankles when he buried himself in her, so great was his need to be inside her.

They groaned together, and Michael swallowed her loud yelps with his mouth on hers as he pounded into her, over and over again.  She locked her heels at his lower back, and he slammed into her, each thrust taking them higher and higher.  Michael gripped her hair at the back of her head, and again his mouth swallowed her scream as she came, convulsing around him as he thrust into her one final time, his cock pulsing as he came.

"Oh fuck..." he breathed into her neck as he rolled his hips against hers. "Fuck....Lennie....fuck."  He collapsed on top of her, releasing his grip on her hair as he grunted into her neck.  Lennie dropped her legs out the side, and ran her fingers through the hair at the nape of his neck.  She leaned up and looked over his shoulder, and giggled as she dropped her head back down against the pillow.

"What?" Michael mumbled against her neck.

"The door is wide open," Lennie giggled again.

"You really gotta start planning better, luv,"  Michael teased as he pulled out of her.  He crawled off the bed, and she watched his perfect backside as he moved to quickly shut and lock the door.  He came back to the bed and crawled back on top of her and lay back down. Lennie giggled again as she wrapped her arms around him and resumed playing with his hair.

"You had me worried, babe,"  Michael said softly.  Lennie's hands stilled in his hair.

"You worried me, too."

"I'm gonna chain you to this bed, sweetheart,"  Michael threatened.  He leaned up and stared down at her, but his expression was serious this time.  "Please don't leave me like that again.  We'll make some rules, or something, but don't run out on me like that."

"I overreacted. I know that, Michael."  Lennie placed her palm at his cheek.  "I'll figure myself out, I promise." 

Michael bent down and kissed her softly, and then leaned back with a smile as he shook his head.

"We'll figure _us_ out, babe.  We're in this together, right? Not just your problem anymore, Lennie."

Lennie smiled up at him, and again she felt the weight of happy tears in her eyes.   She was always so emotional around this man! Unable to speak, she wrapped her arms around him and pulled him down to her for a hug, sniffling into his neck as she did so.

"Are those happy tears, or sad?"  Michael asked.  He rolled off her and onto his back, and pulled her into his side. 

"Happy," Lennie sniffled again. 

"I love you, Lennie."  Michael kissed her on her head, and settled back into the pillows.  "Never forget that."

Lennie kissed his chest again - her favorite spot, right over his heart -  and snuggled into him. 

"I won't."  Her voice was a faint whisper as she began nodding off.

Michael grinned, and twirled his fingers in her hair until he, too, fell asleep.

 


	39. Chapter 39

 

 

 

**_And the road,_ **  
**_The old man paved._**  
**_The broken seams along the way._**  
**_The rusted signs, left just for me,_**  
**_He was guiding me, love, his own way._**  
**_Now the man of the hour is taking his final bow._**  
**_As the curtain comes down,_**  
**_I feel that this is just g'bye for now_**

 

 

A few hours later, Lennie woke up to an empty bed. It was still only after 2am, although she felt like she had slept much, much longer. She sat up and looked around the room, wondering where Michael could be. She pulled on some clothes and wandered out into the living room. He wasn’t there, or in the kitchen, but she did see the door to the back yard open, and she assumed he was out there. She walked over and peered out into the darkness, and sure enough, he was sitting out back at the patio table. It was dark outside, the only light coming from the moon overhead.  She could see the faint glow of his cigarette as he took another drag.

Then she heard his voice. He was on the phone with someone.

“No….no, I don’t know,” Michael answered the nameless person. “Yeah that’s true.  She knows that, Nic.  Well I hope she does, anyway.” Michael continued, and Lennie felt the blood drain from her face.

 _Was that Nic as in Nicole?_ _As in Nicole who he was sleeping with when she caught him??_

“I’m not sure anymore.” Michael sighed and stood up. He ground out his cigarette and turned around to the door, and that’s when he saw Lennie standing there staring back at him, her eyes wide and luminous in the dim light.

“I’ll talk with you later,” he mumbled into the phone and then hastily ended the call. “Lennie? What are you doing up, babe?”

“Who was that?” Lennie demanded, although in her heart she already knew. “Don’t lie to me, either!”

“It’s who you think it was, Lennie,” Michael began as he walked towards her.  Lennie turned on her heel and walked away, back into the house. “I can explain, sweetheart.”

He quickly followed Lennie into the house and back into their bedroom.  Lennie stood by her dresser, head down and turned away from him. Michael shut the door behind him and leaned up against it, and watched her warily.  He could see how angry she was.

“I’m not going to lie, Lennie. It was Nicole.” Michael admitted quietly.

Lennie felt the world fall away at her feet. This could not be happening, it simply could not be happening.

“You bastard,” she whispered through tears. She hugged herself tightly, trying to will away the despair that was threatening to take over.

“It’s not what you think, Lennie.” Michael moved to stand behind her and tentatively reached out to touch her shoulder, but Lennie turned and slapped his hand away.

“Get out,” she hissed between clenched teeth. “Get out and go back to your girlfriend!”

Michael was taken aback, and he stared down at Lennie, brows drawn together.

“Why won’t you even hear me out, Lennie?”

“There’s nothing to hear. You’ve said it before – you freak out and you go screw around.  At least I know what to look for this time,” Lennie tossed out sarcastically.

“And you freak out and take off with my kid,” Michael shot back hotly.

Lennie whirled around and attempted to slap him, but Michael caught her hand before she could connect with his cheek.  His jaw flexed in anger as he looked down at her, and he shook his head slowly.

“Don’t do that again,” he warned her calmly.  Lennie jerked her hand out of his and stood before him, chest heaving angrily as she glared up at him with fists balled at her side and tears rolling down her cheeks.

 _“Get. Out.”_ Lennie’s voice was strained through her tears, and there was a coldness to it, a biting contempt that Michael felt intimately. 

“It’s always that easy for you, isn’t it?” He growled at her. “Any fuckin’ thing goes wrong, and you toss in the towel, don’t you?”

“Oh, okay! I’m supposed to be okay with you talking to your little whore on the side, right?” Lennie screeched angrily. “Too bad I didn’t just stay asleep, huh?”

Lennie’s eyes widened as she thought through what she’d just said, and she shook her head at Michael in disbelief.

“How many other nights have you crept out to talk to her? Or when you were gone?” Lennie sat down on the bed as the waves of nausea rolled over her. “Oh god…oh god…”

She brought her shaking hands up to cup her face as she tried to wrap her mind around what was happening.   Her mind was racing, a million thoughts running through her head as all the different scenarios played out.

“I know you won’t believe me, but I’ve not been in contact with Nicole til just now.”

“Please stop staying her name,” Lennie whimpered as she ran to the bathroom, her hand over her mouth.

She made it to the toilet just in time to begin retching, her heaves intermixed with her tears. She barely noticed Michael there holding her hair back out of her face for her as she vomited. When she had nothing left, she sat down in front of the toilet and rested her head on the closed lid as she tried to catch her breath.  She was shaking, and a cold sheen of sweat coated her skin.

“Lennie…luv…It’s not what you think. Truly it isn’t,” Michael began gently. He handed her the rag he’d wet with cool water, and Lennie placed it against her face as she tried to calm her irritated skin.

“Please go, Michael,” she begged softly. “I can’t do this. It’s too hard with you.”

Michael moved away from her and sat down on the edge of the tub. He stared down at his feet as he began speaking, his voice heavy with regret.

“You know, I love you, Lennie. More than I ever dreamed possible. I have done more stupid shit with you than with anyone else. Had someone told me a few years ago what you and I would go through – and that I would still be willing to forgive you – I would have said they were fucking crazy.”

He looked up at her, and this time Lennie saw that his eyes were teary as well. “I called Nicole to see if there was anything there, to make sure I’d left that all behind. Yes, she and I remained on friendly terms, but I haven’t seen her since the movie. It just sort of ended, and we both moved on, you know?”

Lennie wiped at her face again and sat up, no longer nauseous, and stared at Michael.

“So you called her, why? To see if I was enough to keep you here?” Lennie muttered bitterly.

“No. She called me a while back. Apparently someone had taken photos of me and Cooper, and she was curious. She’d called me a few times, but I never paid much attention to it.”

Lennie gasped and looked at the bathroom door.  “There’s pictures of my son on the internet?”

“ _Our son, Lennie._ There’s pictures of our son, yes. It was bound to happen sooner or later,” Michael reasoned gently.  “Lennie, sweetheart, I am sorry. It was stupid to call her, and I knew it when I was doing it that it was wrong.”

“But you did it anyway” Lennie whispered painfully. “Just like yesterday. I knew leaving was wrong, but I wanted to teach you a lesson. “ She shrugged and looked off in the distance. Michael said nothing as she continued.

“I knew taking Cooper would hurt you, would make you see my point of view, and maybe prevent it from happening again.” She looked back to Michael, to where he sat quietly as he listened to her. “But I can’t control you anymore than I can control the weather, right?” she chuckled to herself without humor.

“What are we doing here, Michael?” she shrugged again and shook her head. “I mean, really? What are we doing?”

“I thought we were making a go of it, of you and I.” Michael’s chin lifted resolutely.

“No, we’re punishing each other, and second-guessing, and all that other bullshit that people do.” Lennie drew her knees up and wrapped her arms around them as she hugged her legs to her chest. “You’re calling ex-girlfriends and I’m kidnapping our son.”

“Lennie! Just stop all this fucking nonsense!” Michael barked.  He gripped the edge of the tub forcefully as he leaned towards Lennie.  “You don’t get to make all the decisions here, you understand? You don’t get to just quit whenever things don’t go the way you planned! Do you understand that?”

Lennie stared down at the tile on the floor, trying her best to not look at him as she tried to get a grip on her emotions surrounding Michael.  It felt like deja vu all over again...

“Do you want to quit, Lennie? On me? On us?” he implored. “Is that really what you want?”

“I don’t want you to hurt me anymore, Michael!”

“And I don’t want you to hurt me!” Michael snapped back. He ran a hand through his hair as he stared down at her.  She sat before him, trembling with emotion and he watched as tear after tear rolled silently down her cheeks. Unable to help himself, he scooted down on the floor, and reached out and pulled her onto his lap for a crushing hug.

“I love you, Lennie. Please, let’s just go back to our room and talk, okay?” He kissed the top of her head as he held her to him. “Please, babe. Let’s just put everything out on the table and see where we stand after, okay?” Lennie nodded against him, and Michael released her, and the two of them stood up.

"Let me clean up a bit first,"  Lennie mumbled weakly.  Michael nodded, and left her alone in the bathroom. 

When she was finished, she opened the door and found Michael sitting at the edge of the bed, plucking lint off the covers.  He glanced up at her as she walked out. Lennie crawled on the bed and sat cross-legged against the headboard.

“Why did you run away yesterday?” Michael asked abruptly. “Why not stick around, see what happened, and get my side of the story?”

“Because I grew up with an alcoholic mother, Michael. I don’t want Cooper to go through that.”

“Do you think I’m an alcoholic?” Michael asked gently, and Lennie shrugged.

“I don’t know what to think, Michael. I barely know Jacob, and you managed to get him drunk.”

“We were bonding, sweetheart,” Michael attempted to tease, but Lennie only glared at him.

“Now’s not the time for jokes, Michael.”

Michael sobered.

“You’re right.” He cleared his throat as he continued. “Can you imagine what it felt like for me to wake up and find out that you were gone, and that you’d taken Cooper with you?”

Lennie looked down at her fingers shamefully, and fiddled with her nails.

“I know that was wrong, Michael. I guess it was like a trigger, or something, and I just reacted.” She looked up at him with genuine regret. “I’m sorry. I know you aren’t my mother, and I know you aren’t an alcoholic.  I think yesterday was just a bad day, and too much had gone on, and I just reacted.”

Michael scooted closer, and reached out and grabbed Lennie’s hand from her lap. He laced his fingers with hers, and smiled at her gently.

“You scare the shit out of me, Lennie. Do you know that?” He grinned at her as she stared back at him doubtfully. “I waver between being happy as shit, and being fucking worried that I am going to lose my mind.”

“I feel the same about you, Michael,” Lennie mumbled. “Why would you call her?  Of all people, really?  Did you think how much that would hurt me?” She couldn’t hide the hurt in her eyes as she stared up at him.

“Because I’m a jackass, Lennie.  A man that does stupid things.” He squeezed her hand tightly in his. “You have to believe there is nothing there.”

“That still doesn’t explain why you would call her,” Lennie muttered doubtfully.

“Yesterday I felt like you couldn’t possibly love me as much as I love you. You ran out on me, and took Cooper. I was so pissed, and I started doubting myself. I sort of felt like I was losing my mind, you know? Then she had been calling, making me question my sanity even more. Like, perhaps I was missing something?”

Michael looked down at their joined hands.

“So, yes, I called her back. Maybe as a test that I wouldn’t fuck things up between you and I, maybe to see if I really was feeling for you what I thought I did. I second-guessed myself so many times with you. I just never feel that you care for me as much as I care for you.  Just like you don't trust yourself, I don't trust myself sometimes.  I don't want to mess things up between us.”

Lennie wiped at a tear that rolled down her cheek, and Michael brought their hands up to his lip for a tender kiss.

“I was wrong, Lennie. I told Nicole how much I loved you, and how I hated myself for wasting so much time doing stupid shit. How I hated fucking things up in the beginning. I told her about Cooper, and how much he reminded me of myself as a boy, and I told her how I was going to ask you to marry me one day.” Lennie looked up at him in shock, and Michael smiled sheepishly at her.

“So, while I know that calling her was a bad idea, I know that I had the very best of intentions, Lennie.  I don’t care how many times we fight, or how many times you dump me, I know that I’ll come back.  As right or wrong as that is, I love you and I’ll do anything to keep you at my side.” He kissed their hands again. “I had to make sure she knew that, knew where I stood with you.”

Lennie crawled over, bridging the distance between them, and scooted up as Michael pulled her up in his lap. He wrapped his arms around her, and she snuggled in.

“Okay, I have a solution. I won’t run away, and you no longer contact your ex-girlfriends. Deal?” Lennie mumbled against his chest.

“Deal,” Michael agreed as he kissed her head. “You tell me when you’re feeling stressed, or anxious, or when I’m doing something you don’t like, and I’ll fix it. Deal?”

“Deal.”

“Do you love me, Lennie?” Michael asked, his voice gruff with emotion, all joking aside. “I need to know that you love me as much as I love you. I need to know that you won’t run out on me when things get tough. I live a weird life, sweetheart, and I need to know that we’ll be okay. That you’ll be okay with me.”

“I live a boring life, Michael. Will you be okay with that?” Lennie leaned back to look up at him. He nodded down at her resolutely. 

“Of course, luv.”

“Then of course, I’ll be okay with your weird life.” Lennie snuggled back in against him again. “I’m just not okay with ex-girlfriends.  I can be...very possessive...I guess.  What's mine is mine.”

"And am I yours?"  Michael asked.

"Every bit of you is mine,"  Lennie confirmed, and Michael smiled up above her.  He would have his hands full with his little Cajun princess...

"I love you, Lennie," Michael murmured against her hair as he stroked her back.

"My dad would have loved you,"  Lennie choked out tearfully, and Michael wrapped his arms around her a little tighter.  "He was such a good man, and I miss him so much."

"I know, baby.  I know you do."  Michael rocked her gently in his arms.  "I know it's not the same, but you've got me, and you've got Jacob, and Leon, and Cooper, and we all love you so much."

"My dad loved Helene so much, and now she's dying, too."  Lennie sniffled as her breath hitched.  "I feel so guilty for not hating her, but how can I when I know how much my dad loved her?"

"Loving Helene doesn't change the love you felt for your mum, sweetie,"  Michael reasoned gently.  "Your mum was sick, sweetheart. You couldn't help that, and neither could your dad. It sounds like everyone did the best they could with what they had, and that doesn't make anyone a bad person."

Michael lifted her and maneuvered her so that they were laying down in the bed.  Lennie rubbed her cheek against his chest as she tucked her hand under his side. 

"I don't ever want to take you for granted, or not tell you how much I love you, or ever make you feel that I don't want you," she whispered as she clutched his tee-shirt in her hand.  "I've seen what happens with secrets, and lies, and not being honest, and I never want to go through that with you.  I don't want to run anymore, and I don't want to hide."

"Look at me, Lennie," Michael ordered gently.  Lennie lifted her head, and he smiled at her tenderly.  Her face was red and splotchy with tears, and her lashes were still wet.  He tapped his finger on the tip of her pert nose.  "I love you, Lennie.  With all my heart.  If I ever make you feel that I love you any less, you tell me straight away, you hear?"

Lennie nodded up at him, and Michael pulled her forward for a kiss.  His lips were gentle on hers, and when he released her, he helped her settle back down on his chest.

"Get some sleep, sweetheart," he murmured as he stroked her hair.  Lennie sighed, and closed her eyes wearily. 

* * *

"Mama?"  The loud whisper in the dark called to her.  "Mama?"

Lennie eyes fluttered open and she stared back at Cooper groggily.

"Yeah, baby?"

"Can I sleep with you?"  Cooper asked quietly. Her son was standing next to her side of the bed, and she could see that he had his Rocket stuffed animal with him as usual.

"Yeah, come on, baby."  She lifted the covers for him to crawl in, but Cooper moved to the end of the bed. 

_Ho-ho-hoo-hooo....._

Cooper quickly scrambled up into the bed and crawled in between Lennie and Michael.  He sat, eyes wide, as he listened to the noise.

_Ho-ho-hoo-hoooo...._

"Mama?"

"Yeah?" Lennie asked with a small smile.  Great horned owls were common here, and she as a child loved to listen to them call at night.

_Ho-ho-hoo-hoooo...._

'What is that noise?"  Cooper asked, his voice frightened as he scooted closer to Lennie.  She sat up and wrapped an arm around her son as she pulled him against her.

"It's a great horned owl, baby."

"Why's he making that noise?" Cooper whispered.

"Well, he's calling for his mate,"  Lennie explained gently.  The owl called again, and Cooper looked towards the window.  The curtain waved in the wind as the window was cracked to let in some cool air.

"What's a mate, mama?"

"It's like his girlfriend, or his wife.  Great horned owls pick one wife and stay together for life.  They separate during the year, but do come back together when it's time for their babies to be born."  Lennie smiled as she tried to explain the mating behavior of the owl in such a way that Cooper would understand.  She'd remembered having this same conversation with her father so many years ago, and it still brought a smile to her face when she thought of it. 

_"Whenever you hear that sound, Lennie-girl, that's the owls calling to their mate.  No matter how long they been apart, they always find their way back to each other.  They'll call until they do.  When you don't hear them no more, it means they found each other."_

Lennie smiled up at the window as Cooper snuggled down into her arms as the owl continued to call for the other. 

"How long will he do that?"  Cooper asked sleepily. 

"Until he finds her, or she finds him,"  Lennie answered softly, and she had tears in her eyes now as memories of her father flooded her thoughts.

They sat there in silence for a few moments later until Lennie felt Cooper's head loll against her, and she laid him down in the space between her and Michael.  She tucked him in, and then crawled out of bed quietly and walked through the house til she made it to the back door.  She took her cell phone and slipped out onto the patio and sat down in the chair that Michael had been in earlier.  She had wanted to hear the owl, but he was no longer calling.  The only noise now was that of the crickets chirping and the frogs calling for rain.

Her phone buzzed on the table, and she looked at it.  Something in her told her who it was before she even looked. 

She was right and she wiped at a tear as she read her brother's message to her.

**Jacob:  Mama passed a little while ago.**

Lennie swallowed the lump in her throat as she texted her brother back.  

**Lennie:  I love you, Jacob. I am so sorry.  She's with daddy now.**

**Jacob:  I heard the owl.  She was looking for him.**

A tear rolled down Lennie's cheek and she smiled a wobbly smile.  Her father had told Jacob the same story....

**Lennie:  I heard the owl calling, too.  They found each other.**

**Jacob: At least they have each other now.**

**Lennie:  Yes they do.  Are you okay?**

**Jacob:  I will be.  I'll call you tomorrow, okay?**

**Lennie:  Okay. Love you, big brother.**

**Jacob:  Love you back, little sister**

Lennie closed down the phone and sat in silence for just  a few moments.  She jumped a little when she felt Michael's hand at her shoulder, but she reached up and grasped his fingers with hers. 

"Come inside, sweetheart?'  Michael asked softly.   Lennie nodded and stood, and took Michael's hand in hers.  He walked back through the house and into their bedroom, and Michael pulled Lennie into his side as they lay down.  Now, Lennie was sandwiched in the middle, with Cooper laying in her spot.  He was breathing evenly, his little lips parted in sleep, and Lennie pushed a wayward lock of hair off his face. 

"Are you alright, Lennie?"  Michael asked, his breath warm at her neck.  Lennie lay back and snuggled into him. 

"I think so, Michael."  She placed her hands over his where they rested across her chest.  "I think we're all going to be okay, now."

"I love you,"  Michael murmured sleepily. 

"I love you, more,"  Lennie whispered back as she snuggled back into his chest.  Michael quickly fell asleep again, his breathing steady at the back of her neck.

For the first time in a very long time, Lennie felt like everything was the way it should be, with everyone where they should be.  She closed her eyes and focused on that picture of her dad and Helene, laughing in the rain and so in love, and she felt a warmth come over her that she hadn't felt in such a long time.  She was home.

 

 

 

 


	40. Chapter 40

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Because I can't stay away from Jacob and Leon...and because this story isn't finished....and because I really love Lennie and Michael, and Steve has to show up, and Ellie, too, and Cooper needs his party. 
> 
> I've got my reasons, however unjustified they may seem!

2 days later, Lennie had traveled down to Pierre Part to attend Helene’s funeral. In Louisiana, funerals aren’t meant to be miserable, sad events, but rather a celebration of the deceased’s life. There were family members and friends, and friends of friends, and tears were equally shared with laughter as they all recounted different memories of Helene.  Lennie was standing with a group of newly-found cousins when she noticed Leon standing alone underneath a lonely cypress out by the edge of the water. Excusing herself, she walked over to where he stood.

“Leon?” she asked softly as she stopped next to him. “How are you?”

Leon stood quietly, and she could see that he had been crying.

“If you want me to go….” Lennie began, but her brother shook his head.  He wiped at his face and cleared his throat.

“No. You can stay. If you want.” Leon’s voice was flat, despondent in his grief, and his eyes were downcast at the water’s edge. Lennie stood quietly, unsure of what to say or offer to Leon to help him.

“You know, I hated you for so long, Lennie,” Leon admitted quietly. Lennie felt her heart pound against her chest at his words, and she did her best to not gasp out loud as the breath left her body.  It had been hard hearing Jacob admit that, but it was harder even now hearing it from the always-quiet Leon.

“Leon….I’m…I don’t know what…” she stammered out.

“No, it’s not your fault. Even before I knew you were my sister, I hated you. I always wanted your dad to be my dad, and I hated when you both left.  Even then I felt like you were taking him from me, and I didn't even know the truth.” He turned to her and offered a humorless smile. “Stupid, yeah?”

“No, Leon. It’s not stupid at all,” Lennie assured him with a hand at his shoulder, but she felt awkward and dropped it back to her side.

“When I did finally find out that he _was_ our dad, I don’t know what I felt. Maybe anger still? Jealousy for sure, but Mama made sure we understood why Daddy did what he did, you know?” Leon kicked at the ground below his boot. “I even started feeling sorry for you when I found out about your mama, and how sick she was.”

Lennie sucked in a shaky breath as her throat constricted, and she looked away so that Leon wouldn’t see the tears forming in her eyes.

“I don’t hate you no more, Lennie. I’m pretty sad for all of us, but it’s not hate now.” Leon turned to her, and when he saw that she was wiping at her eyes, he immediately became apologetic.

“Aww, Lennie! I didn’t mean to make ya’ cry!” He walked over to her and stood before her, unsure of himself.  Without thinking, he wrapped his arms around her and pulled her into his chest, shocking Lennie. Leon was not the brother that hugged - or talked - for that matter!

“I’m sorry, Lennie,” he murmured as he hugged her tightly. Even though Leon was the youngest, he was the tallest, and the biggest of all them.  Even bigger than Michael, and Lennie relaxed against him, soaking up his quiet strength. While Jacob looked so much like her daddy, Leon _felt_ like her daddy.   His quiet, gentle ways and mannerisms reminded her so much of Leon, Sr.

“It’s okay, Leon,” she sniffled against his chest.

“Nah, it’s not okay. Jacob would skin my hide if he knew I made you cry.”

Lennie giggled against him, and Leon let out a relieved chuckle.  He relaxed and Lennie moved out of his arms.

“I understand, Leon. I really do, and you have nothing to apologize for,” Lennie smiled up at him. “I felt the same way when I found out about you and Jake.”

“You did?” Leon looked at her with wide eyes, and Lennie nodded again.

“Yep,” Lennie admitted again.  She looked back out over the water. “Daddy did the best he could by all of us. I know that now, and I have forgiven him. They all had their reasons, you know?” She looked back at Leon and he nodded in agreement.

“Now it’s just us, huh?”

“Just us,” Lennie nodded again. “And all these cousins that I never knew I had.”

“There’s a lot of them,” Leon shook his head. “And they all crazy, ere’one of them!” Lennie laughed at how thick Leon’s accent got as he got worked up, and he grinned back at her.

“We’re gonna be alright, Leon,” Lennie sobered a bit.

“Yeah, we are,” he nodded again and stared back out over the water. 

“Whatcha’ doin’ to my little sister, Amos Moses?” Jacob called as he walked up to the pair.  Lennie looked curiously at Leon, and watched as his eyes narrowed at his brother’s words.

“Ima’ punch you in the face if you call me that again,” Leon glared at his older brother.  Jacob grinned back and pulled Lennie in to his side, wrapping a thickly muscled arm around her shoulders. 

“Amos Moses?” Lennie asked with another giggle.  She stared between her brothers – Leon was bristling and Jacob was grinning.

“Leon’s middle name is Moses,” Jacob explained with a chuckle. “I think Mama named him after that song, _Amos Moses_.”

“Watch the slap, Jacob Andrew!” Leon growled. “And that ain’t why they named me that, you damned fool.”

Jacob laughed again, and Lennie held her hand over her mouth to keep her own peals of laughter at bay.  Leon continued to glare at them both.

“Well, at least you’re named after Daddy, and not a member of _The Beatles_ ,” Lennie offered up through twitching lips.  Jacob laughed, and even Leon cracked a little smile at her comment.

“Looks like I’m the only one with a normal name, then?” Jacob puffed out his chest a bit, and Lennie punched him in the gut playfully, earning a chuckle from Leon.

“You’ve got the most boring name, yes,” Lennie teased him, and this time Leon laughed out loud at his brother’s expense. It was Jacob’s turn to narrow his eyes at his brother and sister.

“Y’all are both so funny,” Jacob crossed his arms over his chest in annoyance.

“I think Lennie’s pretty dang funny myself,” Leon snickered.

“That’s cause you’re slow-witted, _Amos Moses_ ,” Jacob shot back sarcastically.  Lennie stepped in between the two of them and placed a hand on each man’s chest. Typical Cajun tempers – zero to sixty in no time flat!

“Boys, boys!” Lennie laughed as she looked between the two of them. “Settle down, alright?”

“When we gonna see Michael again?” Jacob changed the subject, and Lennie stepped back from between them.

“At Cooper’s party. You guys are coming, right?” she looked between her brothers, and both nodded.

“Of course,” Leon answered for them. 

Lennie had postponed the party due to Helene’s passing as she wanted her brothers to be there. Jacob nodded as Leon looked at him with raised eyebrows and cocked his head in Lennie’s direction.  Some unspoken words between the two of them...

“What?” she looked between the two of them again.

“We wanna take Michael out on a pirogue for some night fishin’,” Jacob answered easily. Leon crossed his arms over his chest much like Jacob and gave Lennie a lop-sided smile. Lennie narrowed her eyes at the two of them and put her hands on her hips.

“Why?” she asked suspiciously, but both men shrugged nonchalantly.

“No reason. We wanna get to know him, is all,” Leon chimed in this time.

“This better not be some brotherly pissing contest!” Lennie arched her own eyebrow as she stared up at the two men.  Jacob held his hands up in surrender and grinned back at her.

“Don’t you trust us, Lennie?”

“No.”

Both Jacob and Leon had the gall to look hurt, and Lennie snorted.

“I tell you what….if you take Michael out there and act like idiots, you’ll catch hell.” She pointed a finger at them both. “I can promise you that!”

Leon and Jacob looked at each other, and then back at Lennie, and then back at each other, and burst out laughing, further infuriating Lennie. She snorted again and turned and stalked off back to the house.  Her brother's stared after her with grins on their faces. 

 

"To be so little, she's as mean as a gator!" Jacob chuckled as the two walked back up to the house themselves. 

"It was your idea, so if anything goes wrong, I'm blamin' you," Leon confessed.  Jacob cut his eyes at his brother in disbelief.

"Scared of little Lennie, Amos Moses?" Jacob smirked at his little brother.   Leon shook his head and shrugged his shoulders as if he didn't care.

"Not afraid to admit that."

"Pfft!"  Jacob snorted as he scanned the crowd for said sister.  She was there, talking with cousins and friends, but somehow her eyes caught his, and he would swear she glared at him and Leon from across the yard.  She looked all innocent, but that look she gave him reminded him of the look his sweet mama would send his way when she disapproved of something he did. 

Damn.

Yes...he looked away before she did...

He wasn't too big of a man to admit that maybe she did scare him... just a tiny little bit.

 

 

 


	41. Chapter 41

Later that evening, Lennie was resting her head on Michael’s chest as he flipped through the channels in an attempt to find something to watch. She was exhausted with the party, and the cleanup, and all she really wanted to do was sleep. Cooper had been a verifiable nightmare - high on sugar and adrenaline - and it had taken both her and Michael to persuade him to take bath. He had also been bummed that "Uncle" Steve couldn't make it, but with the promise of seeing him soon, her son had relented. He had literally fallen asleep only a few moments ago. Leon had left earlier, andJacob and Ellie left a little while after.

Together.  

It still perturbed Lennie to think of those two together, but right now she was too damn tired, and holding her eyelids open was about as much as she could manage.

“This is why I don’t have a television.” He dropped the remote beside his stomach on the bed. “Nothing but complete shit on every channel.”

“What if I were pregnant?” Lennie spoke softly against his chest. She felt his reaction – his heart sped up – long before he answered. “Would it really be that bad?”

“Lennie?” Michael questioned uneasily.

“I’m late, Michael,” Lennie whispered against him. She was unsure of how he would react if earlier today were any indication.

“How late?”

“A few days.”

“Can you take a test or something?”

“I don’t think so, not yet,” Lennie whispered again. She felt like she were going to cry. “Are you mad at me?” Her voice sounded tiny in the silence that stretched between them.

“Come ‘ere, sweetheart,” Michael smiled as he pulled her up on top of his chest. He rubbed his thumb against her cheek as he spoke. “Of course not, luv. It would be unexpected, but mad? Of course not.”

“Really?” Lennie asked uncertainly. “I didn’t do it on purpose. I have been taking the pill at the same time every morning.”

“Babe!” Michael pulled her up for a sweet kiss. “I trust you, okay?”

“I just don’t want you to think I’m trying to trap you, or something.”

“Trap?” Michael shook his head as he grinned at her. “You’re stuck with me. When will you realize that? Baby or not, you’re mine and I’m yours.”

Lennie smiled with relief and lay back down on his chest. Michael wrapped his arms around her and kissed the top of her head.

“It would be exciting, don’t you think?” He rubbed his nose against her hair as he speculated. “Another little boy…”

“Or a girl,” Lennie grinned against his chest.

“Or a girl. Fuck, Lennie,” Michael grumbled against her at the possibility of having a daughter. Lennie giggled against him.

“Your brothers would turn her into an alligator huntin’, gun totin’, foul-mouthed hillbilly!” Michael did his best impression of her brother’s Cajun accent, and Lennie snorted dismissively.

“First, that’s a horrible accent. Second, we’re not called hillbillies down here. Third, any daughter of mine _will_ know how to shoot, and _will_ eat alligator. And fourth, if she’s cussing like a sailor, that’s from you. You’ve got the foul mouth around here!”

Michael rolled them over so that he was on top, and he stared down at Lennie with an easy smile.  Lennie looked up at him in annoyance.

“Did I offend you, sweetheart?” Michael lifted an eyebrow.

“My brothers are good men, Michael,” Lennie argued softly. She stared at his neck, unwilling to meet his eyes.

“What’s wrong, Lennie?” Michael’s demeanor softened. He leaned down and kissed Lennie softly, tenderly, and waited.

“I just want you all to get along,” she shrugged helplessly, and Michael could hear the way her voice hitched. “I just need to keep my family together,” she sniffled out.

“I’m only playing with you, baby,” Michael assured her.  She looked up at him and he nodded in assurance. “I quite like your brothers, even if they are…unorthodox."

“Unorthodox? Really?” Lennie narrowed her eyes at him, and Michael laughed.

“Kiss me, luv,” he murmured as he leaned down to capture her lips with his.

“I know what you’re doing, Fassbender,” Lennie whispered against his mouth as she wrapped her arms around his shoulders. Her hands found that hair at the nape of his neck that she loved so much, and she twisted her fingers in the curls that were still wet from their shower.

“And what would that be, sweetheart?” Michael kissed along her collarbone, his lips leaving goosebumps in their wake.

“Trying to…distract…me,” Lennie panted as his mouth found an eager nipple.

“Is it working?” Michael suckled at her breast, his tongue soothing her after his teeth nipped at her.

“It is,” Lennie squirmed against him restlessly, and she clawed at Michael’s back to pull him up to her. He slid up her body, positioning himself between her legs and stared down at her.

“I love you, Lennon Grace LeBlanc.” He kissed her on the tip of her nose. “You and Cooper are my heart and soul, and there’s nowhere else I want to be, luv.”

“You promise?” Lennie blinked up at him tearfully.

“I promise,” Michael nodded down at her. “It would take more than some crazy Cajun brothers to get rid of me.”

“Michael….” Lennie warned, and Michael threw his head back and laughed at her.

“You’ve not met my family yet, sweetheart.”

“Are they bad?” Lennie asked warily.

“No. I don’t think so anyway. I think you’ll get along with my sister quite well. She’s... sort of in the same business as you, you know.”

Lennie smiled in relief and pulled Michael down for another kiss.

“I love you, Michael.” She kissed along his cheeks and back down to his mouth. “I really, really love you.”

"Show me how much you love me, then,"  he challenged her, his voice husky.   He rolled them so that Lennie was straddling him, and he placed his hands back behind his head as he waited. 

"You say that like it's something hard,"  Lennie murmured as she reached behind her and undid her bra.  Michael bucked underneath her.

"It is very, very hard, luv," he growled as he watched her pull her tank off and toss it on the floor. 

Lennie wiggled the bra straps off her arms, pulling them slowly down her arms and delighting at the way Michael's facial expression changed.  He lifted his hands from behind his head and attempted to grab her breasts, but Lennie leaned over him, grabbing his wrists and placing his hands back above his head.  Her breasts dangled in front of his face, and Michael turned his face in a effort to latch onto one, but she moved just out of his reach.

"Be still, Mr. Fassbender," she purred as she slid down his body.  She took great care to drag her breasts down his chest, and she grinned as she heard his sharp intake of breath when she pulled a pebbled nipple between her fingertips and roller it.

"Fuck!" Michael grasped the headboard above his head as he attempted to remain still.  Lennie continued down his body, only glancing up at him when she began pulling down the waistband of his sleep pants.  She was crouched over him, and when she peered up, she saw that he was watching her from below heavily-lidded eyes. 

"You be still, you hear?" Her voice had grown husky as she slid his pants and underwear down over his hips. His erection sprang free, hard and throbbing, and she wanted nothing more than to climb over him and slide down onto him.

But, he'd called her brothers "hillbillies."

He'd also tossed her in the pool numerous times throughout the day.

As if that weren't enough, he'd helped Cooper chase her around the backyard with a daddy long-legs!! A damn spider!!!

She crawled off the bed and walked over to her dresser and grabbed two of Michael's ties that she'd dug out of his suitcase earlier.

"What are you doing?" Michael asked suspiciously.  "What's behind your back, luv?" He tried to sit up, but Lennie pushed him down with a firm hand in the middle of his chest. 

"If you want me, you'll have to do as I ask," she purred as she stroked the inside of his thigh.  He jumped at her touch, but lay back down and continued staring at her. 

"Don't you trust me?" Lennie smiled at him sweetly.

"Absolutely not," Michael shook his head emphatically.  Lennie shrugged nonchalantly and stood up.

"Okay. I'll go sleep in the guest room then." She moved to walk away, but Michael reached out and grabbed her and pulled her down on top of him.

"Oh, no you don't!" Michael was positively growling now, and Lennie did her best to keep a straight-face.

"Then lay back and close your eyes," she whispered as she ran her hands across his bare chest. Michael kissed her, hard on the lips, but did lay back down on the pillow. 

"Hands up," Lennie lifted her chin towards the headboard. 

"I'm not overly fond of not being in control," he muttered as he reluctantly placed his hands against the headboard.  

Lennie leaned over him again, purposely pushing her breasts towards his face to distract him. This time she let him kiss her breasts, and she bit at her lip and forced herself to concentrate as she tied his hands together at the headboard.  She pulled away, and Michael tried to follow, but was detained by the ties at his wrist.  He jerked at the ties for a moment, and finding them more snug than he anticipated, turned his attention back to Lennie. She watched him warily from the edge of the bed.

His eyes were darker than she'd ever seen them, the blue almost steel-like against the whites of his eyes. That crease between his brows that appeared when he was angry was there, and Lennie began to doubt how smart of an idea this was.  He may be tied up, but she felt like she was the prey here and he was ready to pounce on her. His eyes glittered dangerously as he stared back at her, and she stopped breathing when he relaxed back against the pillow with a wink and a cocky-ass grin.  He was so damn sure of himself - even in this position - and Lennie couldn't help but feel aroused.  And a bit peeved, if she were to be honest with herself.

_Damn it!!_ She mentally yelled at herself - she was supposed to be in charge here! How had he turned this around on her?

"What's the matter, Lennie?" Michael murmured softly, dangerously.  "I'm waiting."

Lennie narrowed her eyes at him and crawled back up the bed and straddled him again. Michael shifted against her, and Lennie gasped as she looked down at him.

"What?" he asked innocently.  "Just trying to get comfortable."  He shifted against her again, and she felt his erection press at her core, causing her to close her eyes with whimper as she ground against him.  Michael immediately stopped moving, and Lennie's eyes popped open. 

"What?" he asked again with a knowing smirk.  "Is something the matter, luv?"

Lennie was about to answer when Michael drew his knees up, forcing her to fall forward against him.  She planted her hands on his chest and attempted to push off, but Michael had somehow gotten his hands loose from the ties and brought them around to hold her to him.  He reached down and cupped her ass, holding her to him as he pressed his cock against her.

"Do you really want me tied up?" He stroked along her backside, drawing soft sighs from her as his long fingers came very close to touching her where she wanted him.  She wiggled against him restlessly.

"Uhm..." she bit at her lower lip as she stared down at him.  His fingers dipped in below her ass, just barely skimming along her wetness, and Lennie yelped when one long finger traveled up the length of her slit. 

"If you tie me up, I can't do this." He leaned forward and kissed her as he slid one finger inside her and slowly stroked her.  Lennie closed her eyes and pushed back against him, against his finger that was buried deep inside her. 

"I don't think you want that, do you?"  Michael nipped at her neck as his other hand pulled her down to him. 

"No," Lennie stammered out weakly. 

"What do you want?"  Michael's voice was husky at her ear, and she shivered when he bit her earlobe.

"You....that...oh god please..." Lennie squirmed against him as he slid another long finger in.

"You want me?" Michael pumped his fingers in and out as Lennie panted against him.  She rubbed her face against his forehead, no longer caring that Michael had flipped the tables on her.

"Yes, please...oh god!" She squeaked as he slipped yet another finger in, stretching her fully.

"There's my good girl."  Michael withdrew his fingers and sat up, pulling her with him.  He pushed her legs apart and maneuvered her so that she slid down his cock and sat flush against him.  They both groaned at the sensation of being joined so closely, and Michael wrapped his long arms around Lennie and started to rock them.  She was panting into his neck, weakly holding him around his shoulders as he kissed along the column of her neck.

"I love you, Lennie,"  Michael grunted into her neck as he thrust up into her.

"I love you," Lennie whispered back.

"No matter what," Michael thrust again with each word, and Lennie clung tightly to him. 

"No matter what," she agreed as he continued to rock them, over and over again, each thrust bringing them higher and higher to that point that would finally send them over the edge.

Lennie was crying when she finally exploded around him, and Michael kissed her cheeks where her tears were rolling down.  They weren't sad tears, but tears of happiness, and tears of relief, and tears of finally feeling at home.  It was acceptance, and it was love, and it was freeing.  Both he and Lennie felt something shift this time, felt something grow deeper between them.  It was the feeling of being complete, of finally finding the other half of yourself that you had been searching for.

* * *

 

Afterwards, he laid her down gently, and wrapped his arms around her, smiling as she snuggled into his chest in that way that she did. Lennie drifted off to sleep rather quickly, and Michael wondered at her behavior.  She did seem more tired lately, and she had been more moody  - although he'd not tell her that!  No sickness in the morning, though, and nothing else to indicate if she were, in fact, with child.  

_With his child_ , he thought with a smile. 

He had one down the hall that he thought he could not possibly love anymore than he already did, and here he had the woman of his dreams wrapped up in his arms.  The two people that he loved more than anything in this world were right here in this house, and now there was a possibility that another was growing in Lennie's stomach.  He placed his hand at her soft tummy, smiling again as he thought about what it would be like to see it full, rounded with his child.  He'd missed the first one - he frowned now - but he would damned if he missed the next one. 

His mind made up, he reached over to the nightstand and pulled his mobile off and shot out a quick text to his manager.  Whether his manager liked it or not, he would need to be down here in Baton Rouge for a bit longer.  He'd fucked around long enough where Lennie was concerned, and it was time to take the next step.  He dropped the mobile back on the night stand and wrapped himself around Lennie again, willing himself to get some sleep, but his mind was working overtime.  He was fairly confident of how things would go, and what Lennie's reaction would be, but her damn brothers were going to be a different story.  He had a headache already thinking about that....

 

 


	42. Chapter 42

The sound came again and Michael braced himself against the side of the boat.  Not for the first time, he was grateful that he adamantly declined going out in that smaller boat, whatever the hell they called it.  This was insane, and he could not imagine being in something smaller.

“You alright, Mikey?” Leon called from the front of the boat.  Michael was sitting in the middle, with Jacob running the motor at the rear.

_Was he alright? What the fuck kind of question was that?_

He was out here in the middle of the damn swamp with Dumb and Dumber. What could possibly go wrong??

“I’m fine,” Michael smiled between clenched teeth.  Leon grinned back knowingly.

“Just a little closer,” Jacob said softly as he maneuvered the boat over towards the gator. The beast was resting on the bank, his tail-end still submerged and the line taut as he pulled against the trap.  He hissed again, this time much louder, as Jacob nearly butted up against his tail.

“Hold up there, Jacob,” Leon cautioned as he stood up in the boat. “He’s barely hanging on, bro.”

“I see ‘em,” Jacob answered.  He pushed the boat further just a little more, but the gator let them know in no uncertain terms that he wasn’t happy with their close proximity. The gator thrashed about, his tail swinging as he tried to lunge at the boat. His mouth was wide, the rows of teeth visible as he hissed and growled. He finally eased back, but his mouth was still wide in an open display of aggression.

“What should I be doing?” Michael asked warily.  Wordlessly, Jacob stepped around him and headed to the front of the boat where Leon was at.

“Grab that rifle, Michael, and come on up here with us,” Jacob instructed softly, not bothering to look over his shoulder as he spoke.  His eyes were fixed on his younger brother. Leon reached out and carefully pulled the line back in, feeling the pull as it stretched between him and the angry reptile.  He tugged on it slowly, not wanting to enrage the gator further.

“You got ‘em, dude?” Jacob asked Leon as he took the rifle from Michael.  Just then, the gator began thrashing about more forcefully than before, and he turned and attempted to head back into the water to escape. The line pulled taut in Leon’s hands, and he struggled to hold the gator at bay. The hook was deep in the gator’s throat, but both boys knew it could snap at any moment.

“One of y’all better ‘choot ‘em,” Leon growled as he fought to maintain control of the gator. “He’s mad as hell!”

“You gonna do it, Michael?” Jacob turned and asked Michael. Michael stared back at him with wide eyes.  Jacob pulled the bolt back on the .22, ensuring it was loaded, and then cocked his head in the gator's direction.

Michael said nothing.  For whatever reason, he never assumed _he'd actually have to kill_ one of these things!

“Just lean over, put the barrel at the crown of his head, and pull the trigger,” Jacob shoved the gun at Michael.  Michael reluctantly took it, and moved closer to Leon. They’d discussed where to shoot the gators earlier, but again, Michael didn’t think he’d actually be the one pulling the trigger.

“Come on, bro!” Leon grunted as the gator slammed against the boat again, rocking the men in side. “One of y’all better do it ‘fore we lose ‘em!”

“’Choot ‘em, Michael!” Jacob urged him. “We gonna lose ‘em if you don’t hurry up!”

“This is fucking insane,” Michael growled as he moved closer to Leon. He watched as the gator thrashed about, the muddy water splashing up all around them. He leaned over, and shakily pointed the weapon down at the beast. “I can’t get a shot!”

Leon grunted and huffed as he pulled at the rope, trying desperately to get the creature in a good spot.

“’Choot ‘em when you ready!” Jacob called from behind them, a touch of humor in his voice. 

Michael shook his head in frustration at the idiot. He had to keep in mind that this was all for Lennie. It was all for her…

Michael leaned over again, his brows furrowed in concentration. In between breaths, the gator stopped moving for just a moment. Knowing it was now or never, Michael pointed the rifle at the spot behind his eyes and squeezed the trigger. The rope went slack in Leon’s hands as the gator stopped struggling. 

The shot was true.

Michael let out the breath he had been holding, and stood up a little taller, although he was a little shaky yet.  He started grinning, the rush of adrenaline pumping through his body as Leon and Jacob started laughing.

“Fuck!” Michael shook his head in amazement as he stared down at the massive gator he’d killed. “How big is it?”

“Let’s get ‘em in the boat and we can measure ‘em,” Jacob answered as he knelt down inside the boat and pulled at the rope to pull the creature closer. He grabbed the snout and pulled him towards the boat. “Grab ‘em, Michael.”

Michael leaned down and grabbed a claw, grimacing at the feel of the gator’s rough hide against his fingers. Hard as a rock, but not slimy as he thought it would be. He grunted as he pulled the creature up and into the boat with Jacob’s help.  It was fucking heavy! The two of them pulled it up and over, and Leon flipped the tail, bringing the gator completely inside the boat. All three men stared down at the dead creature in a moment of silence.  Leon pulled his knife from his pocket and knelt down beside the gator.

“How long you think he is, Mikey?” Leon asked as he cut and tagged the gator at his tail.

“Ten, maybe?” Michael shook his head as he stared down at the reptile. It was massive, and Michael was in awe of this creature’s power. The fact that Leon and Jacob did this for a living blew his mind.  As much of a rush this was, there was no fucking way he could do this everyday. His respect for the two brothers grew just a bit, although he would never tell them; the two idiots were cocky enough as it was.

“Nah, he’s eleven at least,” Jacob disagreed with a shake of his head. He pulled out a tape measure and moved along the gator. When he reached the tail end, he looked up at Michael with a grin.

“What?” Michael grinned back.

“Eleven, five.” Jacob whistled as he stood up. “That’s a big-ass gator, Michael.”

“Eleven feet, five inches?” Michael asked in disbelief. “No fucking way.”

Leon chuckled as he took the rifle and placed it back safely near him as he sat down at his earlier spot in the front of the boat. Jacob moved back to the rear and took his seat by the motor.

“What you think, Amos Moses?” Jacob peered around Michael to his little brother. Leon scowled back.

“I think I’m gonna kick your ass, bro.” Leon muttered.  Michael plopped down in his earlier seat and threw his hands up in annoyance.

“Look, I shot the fucking alligator! I came out here on this boat, and did what you asked.” Michael turned from brother to brother, getting more aggravated at their smirks. Fucking bastards.

“Well, she’s our sister, so we gotta be careful, you know?” Jacob remarked easily. Leon, the moron, nodded in agreement.  Michael scowled at the two of them.

“Are you fucking kidding me? You know, really I don’t need your approval to marry her. This isn’t the goddamn Middle Ages!”

“Calm down, dude,” Jacob grinned again. He peered around the angry man in the middle, and gave his brother the thumbs up sign.

“I’m good if you are, Jake,” Leon nodded again.

“Okay, Michael. You can marry Lennie.”

Michael sighed dramatically, and both Leon and Jacob burst out laughing at the other man’s relief.

“You two are right fucking assholes, you know that?” Michael growled as the two continued laughing at his expense. He reached down and grabbed the .22 from Leon, and situated himself in his seat. The rifle rested across his thighs. Laughter halting immediately and unsure of what was going on, Jacob and Leon watched him warily. Michael rolled his eyes at the two of them.

“Oh bloody hell! I’m not going to fucking shoot you two! Although, you both deserve it for being such pricks,” he remarked casually as he rubbed a hand across his stubbled jaw in mock contemplation. The LeBlanc boys looked at each other, and then back at Michael, who slowly broke out in a grin at having turned the tables on them. How quickly they forget he’s an actor…

“Aren’t there more lines to check?” Michael asked with a cockily arched brow. Now it was Jacob’s turn to narrow his eyes at the other man, and Michael laughed out loud.

“I’m gonna tell Lennie,” Jacob threatened as he reached behind him to fiddle with the engine.  Not deterred, Michael continued chuckling.  From up front, Leon laughed as well.

“We got us a gator hunter here!” Leon clapped Michael on the back forcefully. “You gonna be alright with us, Mikey.” Leon sat back down on his seat at the front of the boat.

“Alright, Amos Moses,” Michael shot back.  Leon either didn’t know - _or didn’t care_ \- that being called Mikey infuriated the shit out of him. Judging by the ribbing that these two gave each other – and now him – it was probably the latter.  Well, Michael thought evilly…two could play that game.  Now Leon’s eyes narrowed, and he peered around at his older brother. Jacob was trying not to laugh, but he couldn’t control it.

“You see the shit you start?” Leon glared at Jacob.

“Hey I can’t help it Mama named you after a swamp gator!” Jacob laughed, and Michael joined in, causing Leon to shake his head.

“Y’all are both stupid asses,” Leon grumbled. He flung his hand in the direction of the engine. “Can you start the boat, dude? We runnin’ out of daylight!”

Jacob conceded, but the teasing didn’t end there. Before the day was up, the three men had caught four more gators, and Michael had shot three of them. For the other two, Jacob thought it would be funny for Michael to hold the line, and that had been an ordeal to say the least. Leon wasn’t the best shot, and the men had ended up arguing so much that a gator nearly came in the boat with them. Michael struggling with the line, Leon and his not-so-perfect marksmanship, and Jacob running out of patience, had quickly become too much for the men. After that, they’d decided to call it a day, and head back home.

It was that or kill each other.

                                               

 


	43. Chapter 43

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I feel like this was kinda thrown together, but it is what it is. Hope y'all enjoy it. Back to my Jerkbender I go :-)

After finishing up with Jacob and Leon, Michael wearily made his way back home. It was a good two hour drive from where they had been hunting to Lennie’s house, and he was bone-tired. His back was aching, his shoulders were aching… _hell, his damn feet were hurting!_    There wasn't a part on his body that didn't hurt as it bore the reminder of the day he'd just had.  He flexed his fingers on the steering wheel as he drove, wincing as he stretched the busted skin over his raw knuckles. His hands were completely tore up from that damn rope, and again, he shook his head in awe and not a little disbelief at what Lennie’s brothers did for a living.  _It was fucking insane, and that was an understatement._  

But, at least they’d hashed out what he needed - to get their blessing on him asking Lennie to marry him. 

He didn’t want to wait any longer. Cooper and Lennie, they were his life, and now Lennie was pregnant again. Everything he wanted was right here in Louisiana, and he would be damned if he was gonna let it slip through his fingers again.  He'd promised her that he was gonna do whatever it took to make it work, and that' exactly what he was going to do.

* * *

 

“Baby?” Lennie called from the bathroom door as she peeked around it. “You alright?”

“You can come check if you want,” Michael mumbled from under the hot water.  He’d been standing in this same spot for at least 10 minutes, letting the water slowly work out the aches all over his body. He placed his hands on the wall in front of him, and bowed his head, letting the warmth roll over him. A few moments later, he felt Lennie’s small hands work their way around his waist as she hugged him from behind.

“Are you okay?” She tenderly kissed along his broad back.

“I’m much better now,” Michael chuckled as he stood up straight. “Cooper?”

“Asleep,” Lennie answered.  She ran her hands up his slick chest, but stopped when she felt the large scratch that was across his pectoral muscles. She dropped her hands and quickly made her way around him and stared at the angry, red mark with concern. “What happened?”

“Oh that?” Michael looked down at himself with a tired grin. “I fought a tree, and the tree won.”

Lennie looked up at him, her brows arched as she frowned at him.   She knew he was busted up from being out on the swamp all day, but apparently she'd not gotten a good enough look at him when he'd arrived home earlier. 

“Did my brothers do this to you?” She started thoroughly searching his entire body, sighing and huffing when she found more and more evidence of him being battered and bruised.  She made her way all the way around his body as best she could in the shower, ensuring that he was thoroughly looked over.

“Lennie…sweetie…leave it,” Michael smiled as he pulled her to his chest.  She reluctantly wrapped her arms around him, but made sure to not get close to the scratch.

“I’m gonna cuss those two idiots out for this,” Lennie practically growled against him, causing Michael to chuckle.  She was feisty, his little Lennie, and it was cute as hell when she got this way over him.  No one else in their right mind would probably think to curse out the LeBlanc boys, but Lennie would do it with pleasure and a smile on her face!

“Babe, we all got beat up today.” He ran his hands up and down her back. “It was one of those days where it just all sort of went shitty, you know?  Jacob and Leon were pissy with each other, and almost came to blows at one point.” He laughed again as he remembered the two idiots almost knocking each other off the boat as they were struggling with a particularly difficult alligator.  Michael hadn't helped matters, as he'd sat at the rear of the boat, laughing his ass off at the two as they pushed and shoved each other. 

“What?” Lennie pulled back to stare at him. “Why?”

“I imagine they were a little…disgruntled…with me, and they were taking it out on each other,” Michael arched his own eyebrow as he kissed her on the tip of her pert nose.  Here goes nothing...

“Why would they be mad with you?” Lennie stared up at him in confusion.

“Because I convinced them to let their sister marry me,” Michael casually replied. 

“You convinced them to let their...” Lennie stopped talking mid-sentence, and Michael watched the emotions wash over her face as the realization of what he'd just said sank in.  Her chin started trembling, and her eyes filled with tears as her words failed her. 

“I know I should get on my knee, but they’re both busted up, love,” Michael kissed her gently and used his thumb to wipe away a tear as it rolled down her cheek. “I want to marry you, Lennie. If you’ll have me.”  He leaned down and kissed her again before pulling back.

“I don’t want to waste another moment, sweetheart. You, and Cooper, and this little fellow,” he reached down and gently cupped her stomach where his child was growing, “you are my life. I don’t ever want to take that for granted, ever again.”

Lennie still couldn’t speak – all she could do was nod – and with a smile, Michael reached down and turned off the water.

“No making love in the shower, sweetheart,” he winked as he wrapped her in a towel and helped her out of the shower.  He knew he was overly cautious with her, but he didn't give not one damn bit.  Especially not after their miscarriage prior;  you could never be too safe as far as he was concerned, so making love in the shower was not going to happen.    He wrapped himself in a towel as well, and led a still-silent Lennie back to their bedroom. In what he assumed was shock,  Lennie wordlessly scooted back on the bed, towel still wrapped around her, and stared up at Michael with big, glossy eyes.   He was drying off, and when he caught her staring at him, he grinned and dropped the towel, but did pull his boxers on before crawling over to her.  He nuzzled her gently, dropping little kisses along her jaw as he pushed her back on the bed. When she was finally laying flat, Michael pulled the towel from her, opening her up to him.  He gazed down at her with adoration.  She was so beautiful right now, her skin flush with the heat from the water and what he hoped was happiness and desire. 

“So what do you say, luv?” He murmured as he ran a rough hand over her smooth skin, gently tracing the outline of her tummy, delighting in the soft mound that was hardening there. She was showing so quickly, and he couldn’t be more thrilled.  He’d missed her pregnancy with Cooper, and their second baby had not made it into the second trimester, so this was all new for him. He scooted down and placed a gentle kiss against her stomach as he stared up at her.  She continued to stare back at him with wide eyes, and quite honestly,  he couldn't read her.   He had no idea what was going on in that beautiful head of hers.

“Can you say something, Lennie?” Technically he still hadn't received a yes from her, and it was beginning to worry him that he might have put the cart before the horse...

“You wanna marry me?” She whispered, her words catching as another wave of tears overtook her.  Frowning, Michael crawled back up her body and pulled her into his arms.

“Why are you crying, sweetie?”  He kissed her forehead as he rubbed a hand along her bare back.   _Shouldn't she be happy right now?_

“Because you wanna marry me,” she sniffled against his chest. Michael couldn't help but chuckle at her logic - even to this day, she still confused the hell out of him!

“Of course I do,” Michael grinned as he pulled back to look at her. Her beautiful brown eyes were red-rimmed from crying, her nose red and cheeks splotchy as she stared back at him.  She was so damn adorable!

“Are you sure?” she asked hesitantly.  Michael pushed her back against the bed and leaned over her. She continued staring up at him with wary eyes, almost like a frightened doe would.  He had to do this right, although he'd already done everything else wrong up until this point.  This, this he was going to get right.  

“I should be asking you that, sweetness.”  He kissed along her jaw as he held himself up above her. “You know, I don’t think this is how this was supposed to go.”  He slid off of her and opened the nightstand next to his side of the bed.  When he returned to Lennie, he was holding a small box in his hand, and Lennie burst into tears again as Michael pulled her up to a sitting position on the bed. She grabbed the towel and wrapped it back around her body as she stared at him through blurry eyes. He opened the box, revealing a beautiful diamond solitaire. It was simple , yet very elegant, and it suited Lennie perfectly.   Michael again silently thanked God that he had Ellie around to help him pick this ring out!

“Baby…Lennie…I love you more than I ever dreamed possible. I never knew how much I could love someone til you came along. You know, I thought I did, but really I didn’t.”  Michael shifted so that he was kneeling before her, and he pushed the ring box towards her. “I was a fool before, and I am hell-bent on not making that same mistake again. You, and Cooper, and our new baby – this is what I want.  _You_ are what I want.”  He smiled up at her as he continued. “Lennie, will you please marry me?”

Lennie looked down at the ring, and then back up at Michael.  Her eyes were still full of tears, but she was smiling so big, and Michael couldn’t help smiling back.

“Yes,” she nodded as she held up her shaky left hand. “I’ll marry you, Michael.”

With that huge nose-crinkling, all-teeth-on-display grin, Michael quickly pulled the ring from the box and slid it on her finger.  When it was fully set, he lifted her hand, and kissed the ring tenderly as his blue eyes met hers.

“I love you, Lennie. More than you’ll ever know.”

Lennie giggled happily and wiped at another errant tear as it rolled down her cheek.  She reached out and pulled Michael to her, and gave him a sweet kiss in return.

“I love you so much,” she whispered against his lips as she pulled him back on top of her.  She fell back against the bed and wiggled til she had him right where she wanted him. She ran the back of her fingertips up his cheeks as he smiled down at her. “We’re getting married…”

He nodded, his smile growing to another huge grin, and Lennie couldn’t help but grin back. She pulled him down for another kiss. She needed him, needed to be as close as possible to him as she could get.

“Make love to me.”  She impatiently started pushing at the waist of his boxers with her hands. Her towel had fallen open, revealing her naked body, and she squirmed against him in need. Her breasts were so sensitive right now, and even the slightest touch was driving her mad! 

“I’ve been waiting to hear that all damn day long,” Michael growled as he shimmied out of his boxers. He propped himself up on his forearms as he maneuvered his way to her entrance, and in one smooth stroke, he sank into her with a sigh of relief.  He buried his face against her neck, and Lennie wrapped her arms and legs around him to hold him tight.

"I love you, Michael," she whispered against his ear as he started moving within her. 

This man had given her more than she ever dreamed possible - a beautiful, gorgeous, funny child, with another child on the way, and now he'd made her dreams come true and asked her to marry him.  More than anything, she wanted a family of her own, one that wouldn't be fractured by drugs, and alcohol, and lies and secrets.  She wanted a family and he'd given her more than she could have ever in a million years dreamed of.   He'd forgiven her for years of deceit, and he loved her and she loved him, and she was quite sure she'd never been this happy in her entire life.   Michael stopped for just a moment, and pushed up off her so he could look at her. 

"Sweetie?"  Michael looked down at her, his face contorted with exertion as he moved against her.  "Are you okay?"  He grunted as she wrapped her legs around him tighter and pulled him back down to her. 

"Yes, I am now."  She kissed him, tangling her fingers in his hair as she gave herself to him - heart, body, and soul.  

She loved this man so very, very much...

                                                                        

                             

 


End file.
